Walk away from this man. Get yourself to a doctor ASAP and move on with your life.

(((()))))

You might want to check out the Straight Spouse Network for some validation and support from people who have gone through the same thing. This happens more than you think.
Here is the link:
http://www.straightspouse.org/

I know it's a dark time right now, but better to know and move on. I will pray for you!

Wow I can't imagine how difficult this must be. I hope that you can both be honest with each other and move on from this in a healthy way, regardless of what that means for the two of you.

I'll be thinking of you. Take care *hugs*

I cannot possibly imagine how you are feeling right now but please know we are all here on your side *GINORMOUS HUGS*

I had an experience of one of my exes coming out to me that he was gay a long time ago, however we never made it to the complete intimate stage which is how his admission came about so I feel some of your pain and you can message me personally if you want.

I think it would be good for y'all to meet with someone but also for yourself to meet with someone alone. I know probably have much invested feelings in this man but my gut tells me it would be best for you to walk away and get counseling to start the healing process. You have many hear that care about you.

People don't need a 'cure' for homosexuality any more than they need one for being heterosexual.

The issue is the lying and betrayal. As another poster wrote above, lying is lying and cheating is cheating. I so hope you are able to deal with this either together or apart, and maybe a combination of both in terms of therapy. Someone objective who can help sort out all of the emotions that you feel.

You 're in my thoughts.

They aren't married.

If you decide to stay with him, you'll always feel the need to be checking his phone/computer. Is that what you want for you life? Your relationship? Move on with your life so you can be open to someone who deserves you.

I'm shocked everyone is jumping to the conclusion that he is just straight up gay. There is a chance that he is bisexual. I know a bisexual man who cheated on his wife with men because gay men who weren't 'out' were a lot less likely to let the cat out of the box & tell his wife what was up. They both had good reason to keep it all a secret.

I would imagine the therapy in this situation is for his addiction to sex, which causes him to have email/real life sex with any and everyone.

Either way, I would leave him. If you aren't married yet why are you going to try and keep getting deeper into this situation? Sex addiction is hard to manage, and unlike drug/alcohol addiction - it can kill YOU as well as him if he caught some disease.

I am so sorry to hear this

I posted on the double post, but anyway. I'm the one with the gay brother. I don't , IMHO, think straight sex addicts sleep with same sex. I also think that closeted gay men often exhibit "cheating sneaking" behavior (not letting anyone off the hook hear me out) b-cuz they don't want to accept they are gay, but living the hetero life is so stifling that everything just builds up until they hook up with a guy. And OF COURSE the hookup is in the closet too, that way no one tattles! Believe me there are websites and dating services devoted to just this thing. Until a gay person can live an honest life it's very hard for them to not act out sexually. Theoutsider, I can tell you most positively that your church is NOT going to be the place for your DH to turn to for counseling.My brother and I are Catholic, and I don't think that most religions understand homosexuality. Lord knows you can't "FIX" it!

Maybe Echo- I'm addressing the "gay" aspect. I also know that the worst kind of torture for my husband would be his penis in another man's mouth.

Hey. So. I went through this. But not as bad.

I found out my ex of 9 years and 3 kids together liked men AFTER we split and he'd never gotten up the nerve to meet one but as soon as we split that changed. He does keep it separate from my kids. He has no clue that I know. It's not anyone's business. But I know.

It was difficult the day I found out. Even though we had been separated a few months and were filing for divorce - it was just like a complete slap in the face. You can't believe it. You feel like an idiot for not realizing. You hate the time you wasted with him. All these emotions. It's horrible. All those years, I thought something was wrong with me.

But it's a very difficult thing for some men to live with. The best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation and get therapy yourself.

But I did look at the world completely differently. I know how you feel. Don't think you're alone or that you're the only person who has gone through this. It's going to be okay. Message me if you ever need to talk.

I am sure you are numb, this is horrible to have to go through. It looks like you care about him as a person and don't want to just walk away, but you have to know that your relationship, as you knew it, is over. You will never trust him again and you will never truly be sure if he's faithful, not when he has attraction to body parts you simply do not have. Every time he's late getting home, you'll wonder. Every time he takes a little too long going out to get groceries, you'll wonder. Every time you go out shopping or to see friends, you'll wonder. It will be toxic to the relationship. While you may not want to throw a hurt man into the street, you have to end the physical relationship immediately, go to the doctor and make sure you are ok, and focus on him getting into therapy so you can get separate residences.

You can see you'll have a lot of support here toward moving on and out of this relationship. I'm so sorry you're going through hell right now.

He's right. He needs therapy. He's committed an act of betrayal, and he needs help to learn how to communicate and how to maintain integrity. It sounds like he may also need therapy for sex addiction.

*I am NOT advocating therapy as any type of "cure" for homosexuality. There's nothing wrong with being gay, and nobody needs "cured". Therapy isn't about curing anything. It's about learning about yourself and others, what motivates us to do what we do, and how to be your best self. That's it.

Yes, walk away.

DH ignored BM when she confided in him saying she was curious about women. They had SS, then got married, then the drinking, then the drugs, then she left him for a woman!

It scarred DH immensely, but it wasn't his fault. She was who she was.

{{{{Hugs}}}}
How shocking and horrifying and painful this must be for you. My heart goes out to you... I'm sorry you are going through this.