"Men are there and then poof they are gone..."
this is what my SD9 tells me tonight in regards to her BM's relationships. For those that don't remember, I posted a week or so back about secrets and how BM is secretive about everything including her new fiancée. Today the following conversation occurred between SD and myself: (Note: she is returning after a week with BM)
SD: Shenanigans, mom and secret fiancée aren't getting married, Mom says secret fiancée is not spending enough time with her.
Me: Well, I am sorry to hear about that, how do you feel about that?
SD: Sad, because men are there and poof they are gone, but Mom says she is going to stop.
Me: Stop? Stop, what?
SD: Stop looking for love.
Me: Everyone finds love eventually
SD: I find it sad that mom has no love life, here comes Dad please don't tell him about mom and secret fiancée.
Of course, I told Dad as I always do. I believe that she is embarrassed for her mom and that is why she asked me not to tell Dad.
I am very sad for my SD9 because this is number 4 boyfriend/fiancée in 3 years and because her mom does push these men on SD, SD becomes attached or their "friend" as she calls it, then Mom "breaks up" with them and SD doesn't get it see her "friends" anymore. Remember 3 out of 4 of these relationships, SD was told by BM that they were either moving in with boyfriend, or getting married.
How does Dad handle this situation with BM?
"Poof they are gone"...heartbreaking
Dad doesn't handle this with
Dad doesn't handle this with BM. Simple. The best thing you guys can do is show her how a real relationship works. Give her the stability she needs. What BM does and who she introduces to your SD (as wrong as it is) is her business, theres a saying 'give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves'. Let BM carry on. She's only showing SD her true colours and SD will realise in the long run that you guys are the better parents.
Thank you, we do realize it
Thank you, we do realize it is BM's business. It is just difficult for DH and me to watch these men come and go out of his little girl's life. Since SD turned nine, she really is becoming more aware of the situation and how different our lifestyle is then her mom's lifestyle. All we can do is pray that SD sees BM's true colors.
I agree with the other
I agree with the other response- just show SD how a real relationship works and hopefully she will grow up and model you and DH rather than BM.
I have kind of a similar situation. SD is only 5 and BM has already had babies with 2 other men after her. She has also been in several other "relationships" that did not lead to babies.
It's sad that this is what they are teaching their children, especially their daughters.
I can only hope SD wants to be like DH and me and not like her whore mother.
Thank God our BM can't have
Thank God our BM can't have anymore babies! However, BM's oldest daughter (SD's 1/2 sister) is 20, married, and pregnant just like BM was at 20. Guess, the apple did not fall far from the tree on that one.
Hopefully, SD will follow DH and I's footsteps.