I HATE BEING A STEPMOTHER
My husband has two horrible, manipulative, lying, conniving, evil children. 12 and 15. They're horrible. They're beyond horrible. Their mother has brainwashed them and decided that she can just make up her own custody agreement even though he's primary custodial parent (which means not a damn thing in the state of TN) and they have 50/50 custody. She does WHATEVER she can to make those kids hate him because he got remarried 7 fn years after they got a divorce - she's been married to one of the 50,000 men she whored around on him with the day after their divorce was final, but she cannot stand for him to be happy.
I am now 14 weeks pregnant and she has managed to make the youngest hate him because as she told the kids, now that we are having a baby he clearly doesn't love his "real" kids anymore. Ummm b*tch, I'm pretty sure it was his sperm that made this baby it's his REAL child. Well now this tramp has got both kids brainwashed to the point they won't come over at all - the oldest runs her mouth and lies about anything that will make people listen to her; she's JUST like her "mother" (I use that term loosely because what the hell kind of mother would intentionally ruin a child's relationship with their father for the sole purpose of wanting a child support check?!) and now the youngest tells everyone that he doesn't want anything to do with her because we are having a baby.
And that little shit knew what she was doing she left here the last time; she went through her room here and took all the stuff she wanted to take - the $300 tablet I bought her for Christmas as well as a ton of other electronic items. So she knew she was planning on not coming back - her "mother" told her that she doesn't have to come back here if she doesn't want to - she's old enough to decide on her own where she wants to live.
I hate these kids because they lie, steal, plot, and manipulate everyone they can and my husband has had to kiss their asses because everytime he said something to them or tried to discipline them they'd say "I'm gonna live with my momma"
Well now this trick is saying she's gonna take him for full custody and get $800 a month in child support (which she qualifies to get $437 a month according to the state regulations) and at this point my husband just doesn't care anymore - he said whatever, if they want to do this and want to play games thinking their going to get him to beg for them to come over they've got another thing coming and he will just pay his child support for 5 more years until the youngest is 18 and wash his hands of all of them.
I don't get it - HOW CAN A BIRTH MOTHER DO THAT TO HER KIDS?!?! He never cheated on him, she cheated on him for the 15 YEARS they were together. I don't get it. His kids only want what they can get out of people and when you stop kissing their ass, they're done with you. They're JUST like their mother. They make my life miserable and I hate them and I wish she would hurry up and just take him to court and get it over with because I'm pregnant and I'm sick of dealing with this. Years of my life have been wasted on this jerk of a woman. And she always end up smelling like roses - I have even pressed harassment charges and taken her to court. Know what they told me???? Since they have a custody agreement, I just have to deal with whatever she does to me because she's just "being a concerned mother".
OH MY GOD I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!!!!!
Kids are what they've been
Kids are what they've been raised to be. No one can blame a kid that's been PAS'd to pieces.
First up. You've got to settle down. All the stress and raising your BP just isn't good for the unborn baby. Baby is counting on you to get baby here in a healthy manner. As hard as it is to do, don't let the drama overwhelm you. Who cares if kid took her Christmas presents? Who cares if she snagged all her other personal crap out of her room? It's not the end of the world, life goes on. Only issue would be if she ever decides to grant Dad with her presence again, well, it's to an empty room.
These kids at 12 and 14 aren't babies. In fact you can bank they know where and how babies actually come from. They and/or BM may not like it, but baby is Dad's 'real' kid and they all know it. Sure they might choose to pretend not...oh, well, baby won't be around these negative kids/BM especially as kids refuse to visit.
CS will be set by your states laws and guidelines and whatever that is there is little DH/you can do about it. BM won't get one dime more than what's she's entitled to for these children per the court. She won't get extra just because she thinks she' 'special'.
Sometimes it's best to just ignore the crazy. Feeding the crazies makes them crazier. All DH can do is insist on his visitation rights be in place in the CO. Whether or not DH should try to force these kids against their will to visit, will be a decision Dad has to make. But he has way of having the kids visit if it's not in the order...so as fed up as he is, he has to get that in (regardless of if he tries to enforce it.
Sounds EXACTLY like my
Sounds EXACTLY like my hubby's ex - she gets over $500 a month in child support, lives with her parents, gets around $400 a month in food stamps. She has had only 2 jobs, both for less than 6 months in the last 4 years and that was only to collect income tax on the kids. She has an undeserved sense of entitlement that she is passing along to the kids. The hubby and I have no kids of our own yet but she has already told the kids that if we ever did have a child of our own he would forget all about them and we "have no right to do that to the kids".
I graduated from nursing school last year and now the hubby in back in school so that we can get in a better place financially to support the kids (more than we already do) and to hire a lawyer to battle it out with the lying, manipulative BM - I just hope it isn't too late.
The kids get more and more like her every day- for the last 3 months my SD has called just to ask me for money, when I tell her no, she hangs up on me. SD and SS have both lied about me, called me names behind my back then when they come over they are just as sweet as they can be to me until they find out i'm not giving them any money or buying them what they want then all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.
You really aren't alone (and it's good to know i'm not either.)