How do you handle season passes for the skids?
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In the past, we have bought All Sports passes for the HS sports and we are thinking about saving up and getting season passes for a local amusement park. In the past, BM has asked if we got the skids sports passes so they can use them and save money. We have not let them because we feel if she wants to be able to use them on her time then she should help pay for them.
So it got me wondering how any if you handle it.
I think if you get them,
I think if you get them, that's great!
If you have them and she wants to use them, what harm is it to you?
For many years, we had annual passes to a variety of theme parks (we live where there are a lot of theme parks!) and if BM wanted to take SD, then we'd let her use it.
She knew if she ever refused to return it, she'd cut off her access to them permanently. }:)
She should pay half of the
She should pay half of the cost of the passes if she intends to use them.
Yeah...we tried that one
Yeah...we tried that one year. What a disaster. Paying for part of it made her feel like she "owned" it and therefore should/could control it. If we wanted to go, NOPE, she just MAGICALLY wanted to go the same time. And she was entitled to it, of course, because she paid for it.
We wound up buying a second one that year just to avoid the constant hassle.
That is too bad. We pay/paid
That is too bad. We pay/paid for 100% of everything anyway so it was never an issue for us. BM is/was nonexistent so we never had this issue. You'd think adults would be able to give the kids the passes without hassling the other parent.
I'm not in that situation of
I'm not in that situation of actually having that request made of me/DH, but if I were it would depend on a couple things.
1) Is it a family pass? Meaning you purchased the higher priced pass so your family could all go at the discount rate. Or did you buy student passes so the kids could attend only.
2)Was the pass an issue to begin with? Meaning was it something BM specifically asked your household to purchase over and above normal CS and DH went along with it for the children's sake of getting to attend. Did BM request only the student pass and DH decided the family pass was a better all around deal to suit your family's needs?
If I bought the student only pass and purchased it because I wanted to purchase it (not on BM's demand), I would consider it the kid's pass and let kid use it whether I was attending or not. If it were a family pass under the same purchase reasoning I would not be handed it out for BM to save a few bucks.
Whether you and DH decide is fine. Your under no obligation to share it with BM. Perhaps if BM next year wants to go 50/50 on the pass (if family pass and both families could use it) that might be something to suggest to her when that time comes. But in that idea, highly doubtful that both families could use one family pass if they happened to attend the same event. Somebody would end up paying at the door and that would cause hard feelings.
With the sports, it is under
With the sports, it is under a family rate (flat fee) and everyone gets a pass. It is cheaper this route instead of paying $5/person a game. SD is in multiple sports so we basically use them for her games (no, we were never asked to buy them, we do it for us) In the past, BM has asked to use the kids passes for football games to save her money. That is what bothers me the most, we save for these and the. She expects us to hand them over so she can save money.
I wish our HS would do this.
I wish our HS would do this. We had to pay for every game separately even if it was on the same night. I was a volunteer so I would get in free, which helped.
Is it a gift for the child?
Is it a gift for the child?
No, not a gift. It is just
No, not a gift. It is just part of our family pass.
Do you have an established
Do you have an established friendly r/s with BM?? Does this kind of flexibility go both ways?? Is she the "give an inch, she'll take a mile" type of person??
If BM is friendly enough and isn't taking advantage of you and you DH, then perhaps sharing the SK's passes wont be such a bad thing. But if you suspect things could go wrong from this b/c of BM's past behavior of playing up when you guys have attempted to be amicable, I would suggest having strong boundaries, if it's not in the parenting order then the answer is no.
Honestly, she takes a mile if
Honestly, she takes a mile if you give an inch. We have true to split the cost of team pictures, she picks which ones she wants and then it takes us hounding her to get the rest to us. We starte buying our own package because of that. The skids "forget" to bring things back here so they will not be holding on to the passes, we will hold them.
Asshole bitch? hell
Asshole bitch? hell no
Decent human being? no problem
We have amusement park season
We have amusement park season passes. Bm1 asked for ss's one year (when she was actually taking him for visitation) and I said no. I wasn't about to risk her losing the pass that I paid for. There is a fee to replace lost passes, which she would not ha e paid for, and its a huge hassle.
And bottom line, it not my job to subsidize her visitation with her son.
Our BM doesn't even know that
Our BM doesn't even know that we purchase these types of things. We are members/season pass holders at several attractions, including museums, the zoo, and one amusement park.
I can't imagine circumstances were DH would even communicate to BM that we've paid for these types of things.
We don't share that info, the
We don't share that info, the skids do as they are older. BM asks them or they volunteer that information.