I don't care if she lives in a damn cave with a family of hobbits and a bear, your skid was being an asshole to go crying to you about her terrible mother making her DO HER OWN WORK!!!! :jawdrop:

And ur acting like an even bigger one to be so catty and shitty in your attitude about the mothers quite respectful and gracious email to you. She didn't even OWE you an explanation

If my sson texted or emailed me in that same manner, at that age, from BM's house, I would have called the cops. That is very alarming to me and would have sent me into a panic.

The email from BM is weird. Weird. Odd. Strange.

She should have emailed her ex husband and said "FYI Sally Sue sent your wife fake alert texts this morning. Sorry if it caused a panic, we need to deal with Sally Sue."

And no, if a step kids calls a SM asking for help or saying "Help Me, Help Me" BM would not be a person I would call to see what was going on. That is ridiculous.

Ok..I am not going to beat you up like some of the others. But yea...you overstepped. IMHO.

You got played by a twelve year old snot. Plain and simple. BM isn't the one to blame here. Not at all.

Wow, do you ever have a lot to learn about 12 year old girls.

Yeah, I get it. Brat wrote you are handful of texts and it scared you. Well, that would be because you have not had a whole lot of experience in the 'drama queen' years. Have you asked yourself 'why' SD texted you instead of her father? Calling 9-1-1 if she was beening abused? H*ell, have you asked yourself 'why' SD was even able to make so many texts and write several emails if she was in such dire danger?

Twelve year old girls. You have to give them credit. They certainly know how to get somebody's attention. Did you handle this incident wrong? Yeah, you did. The first reaction should have been asking yourself the questions of 'why' above. The second, if still in doubt should have been calling your BF and informing him that you don't know what's up but SD is blowing your phone up with 'help me' texts.

"I don't want to talk to you, you fat bitch, you call me again I calling the police for harassment!"...Now really, does this sound like a BM who is going to welcome you phoning her home and sticking your nose in? And questioning the SS? Have the children ever cried at their dad's house? Has Dad ever, even once, 'screamed' at either one of his kids. Come on, be honest if you answer that question.

It's too bad the whole incident happened. I certainly hope your BF deals with his little drama queen when she gets home. Oh, and I hope it does it in a very mild mannered voice and doesn't make her cry (rolls eyes).

If I ever did this to my parents you know what would have happened? I'd have been yelled at and had my you know what handed to me. I would have known in no uncertain terms you don't fake an emergency.

They wouldn't have calmly sweetly said anything to me. I'd know the seriousness of the matter.

Kids will always try to play parents against one another. Girls just like to manipulate in general. Teenagers are rebellious. Put them all together and you have your SD. The more she gets away with the more she'll do. You better nip this one in the bud.

I understand the replies and criticism you are receiving, and I don't disagree with a lot of it. But I also understand how in the heat of the moment, when panic sets in, you're not sitting down and weighing out the rights/wrongs of the situation. You called, I might have done the same thing.

You live and you learn .. I would let this one go. It won't look good on you or your BF to make this into a huge ordeal. Let it rest and move on with your lives. The kids are okay, right? That's all that should matter now ...

I don't know. If someone, anyone texted me for help in such an urgent manner, I'd be calling them first too and asking if anything happened. I agree that it should have been done as "Is everything okay over there? I received these texts from SD." and left it at that.

Because god forbid something really was wrong, and theoutsider forwarded the messages to her BF who didn't see them immediately or he was busy (who wasn't there at the time), and BM didn't pick up her phone, and those precious few seconds could have meant the difference between life and death, everyone would be singing a different tune now.

With calls and texts for help, I hope we're not suggesting a diffusion of responsibility. As a human being, we who are contacted first should react first, because sometimes those few moments make all the difference.

I don't see where the BM did anything at all wrong.

Had I received those messages, I would have immediately called DH to get a hold of Uberskank and let him deal with it.

However I feel you were wrong in calling the skid cell phone and speaking to a 10 year old boy about an emergency. The BM should have been contacted.

Her note to you was cordial and laid out some boundaries, which you and your DH should respect. These are their kids and it sounds like she is the CP. She wasn't rude, she merely pointed out that she (the adult) should have been notified about these texts and emails. And to please do so in the future.

I think you're being prickly and trying to see problems that just aren't there.

Honestly? If one of MY Kids had pulled this stunt (and until we know there is more to it, I am going to assume it is an attention-seeking stunt)? Cell phone would be *gone* at my home.

:jawdrop:

Lucky SD bloodied that preverts nose or he very well may have 'touched' her. No reason if him to even had opened the bathroom door. An apology letter to the BF? Oh my, no words.

When the kids settle down, sit and teach them how to properly call/text for help. The way the SD went about it was so vague (12 year olds can and are such drama queens) that nobody could tell. Her father and 9-1-1 should have been her first moves and clear "BF iscoming after me while I'm naked...help!" A police car would have been on it's way within minutes. Texts like 'they took my phone away call 9-1-1' thank goodness whoever got that and called didn't assume a 12 year old was just angry a parent took a kids phone away.

Teach her OWMan. She obviously has a dipsh*t for a BM when it comes to having the girl's back. Teach how to protect herself (knee in nuts blah blah) and properly summon help. I hope your BF can stop any more visitations until supervised ones can be arranged.

I'm astounded that neither parent has seen it fit to teach a 12yo how to call 911. Heck - my two knew by the time they were 4ish how to do so, and under what circumstances. I hope Dad picks up the ball.

I'm glad I posted my first comment before I read all the way to the bottom.

I still don't understand why this person was overstepping by making sure things were okay with her SD.

If she were a stranger on the street and a young girl had asked for help, would she have overstepped if she tried to ascertain if anything was wrong? If she implied to the child, somehow, that maybe a parent did something wrong to them?

There are way too many abusive parents (BMs and BDs both) as well as boyfriends, girlfriends, SMs and SFs who are abusive to just chalk any frantic texts like that to a ploy for attention.

Of COURSE, this BM wanted SM to contact her directly. She wanted to do damage control for her BF. Who knows what his true intentions were/are. She might be one of those BMs who would take his side even if her daughter was raped by him. I know my aunt stayed married even after my uncle admitted to molesting my cousin (his step-daughter). It DOES happen.

I would much rather OVER react than UNDER react when it comes to possible child abuse and endangerment.

That guy sounds like a creep. Unless the girl went for a hard workout, there's no way she can smell that badly when she showered the day before. I don't believe that a 12 year old girl can stink herself up that badly within 24 hrs of showering.

Ask yourself why your 12 year old daughter would rather have my help than ask you. I can answer that for you. The 12 year old knows she can't manipulate mum like she can you.

You really did go too far asking this boy if his sister was crying, he answers no, so you ask if she's been crying, did mom or her boyfriend yell at her. So what if they did. This is not your child, bm is her mother. You crossed the line in a big way with that line of questioning. As a mother I would not be impressed if my ex husbands live in girlfriend did this either. I think her email was very generous all things considered.

If the guy is insisting she shower then I am also worried. BM sounds like a trashy person who has a sketchy boyfriend. What's he doing running from the cops? Someone with nothing to hide wouldn't do that.

OP did you post here before under a different name?

The SKs ages, genders and mom's crazy/creepy/mean.... BF,remind me of a SM who claimed the SKs hated their mother and loved the OP. Her stories were just over the top. Kinda like this one.

Turned she was a crew. Once it was pointed out, she deleted all of her blogs.

Geez why does everyone make a big deal out of everything? I think it was ok that she responded to the text. I mean, the kid did text her. It should be ok to reply back.

As far as the email, bm sent? I would simply ignore it. Who cares what she thinks or wants? All you did was reply to a message. You did not initiate the conversation, start anything, but simply respond after a child I am assuming you care about sounded upset, scared, in need of assistance. Not a big deal. Wouldn't most of us do the same for any child we cared about? A niece, a neighbor, whoever? I think instinct would dictate that we would respond to the message.

I don't think you violated any boundaries. I definitely would not have called the bm at all for anything if she had called me a fat bitch in the past. I would not communicate with her at all ever-unless quite literally one of the skids was dying and your dh had lost capacity to speak and there was literally no one else available to make the call.

However I would not allow myself to be upset about the email. Again, who cares? You did what you thought was right. Everything turned out ok. It wasn't a big deal. End of story.

This thread is like The Never Ending Story and just as fantastic!!!

This is just fantastic

Hi outsider I have been reading some comments here and you are gettinga lot of heat. I am not sure why. I am also a live in gf by choice. I dont want to get married so I am not sure why that makes me less of a step mom. I also have my four skids full time and if I would have gotten texts like those I would have done the exact same thing. I dont think you did anything wrong. You know how BM has treated you so if you think it was sarcasm I agree with that because you knoew how she has treated you. I have a BM who is the same way. Says really nasty things to the skids but when in an email calls her own kids liars. I understand how you feel.