I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown
So mil tells SO that I don't want sd5 around cus my kids are older and I don't want to deal with her. And mil said she thinks I am wearing SO and sd out....really all this after a couple weeks ago saying SO should move out and get his own place if I wasn't willing to do drop offs and pick ups alone. SO moved into MY house a year and a half ago and she is pissed off that I haven't put him on title to the house cus what if we break up he has no equity.....she tells me all the time well you knew he had a daughter when you met him, yes I did what I did not know is that the bm was a douche and was going to abandon her kid for me to take care of full time or cause drama for me my kids and try to get in between our relationship. I don't mind sd being around but why do I need to be the one fully responsible for her and as for the house I pay the mortgage and all the bills why would I hand over half especially when SO and I have discussed and are contemplating selling it and buying something together so why waste the money wih a lawyer to get that changed if that's what we are doing we have a cohabitation agreement for 6000 that he gave me for some renovations and I said at time of sale he would get 10,000 for that. Really I am so tired of being villianized by everyone. What do you think ladies.... Thanks for allowing me to rant.
Good advice thanks ladyface
Good advice thanks ladyface
Been there. Still doing
Been there. Still doing that... I feel for ya.
It just sucks that he allows
It just sucks that he allows her to speak to me and about me in this manner when all I have done is pick up bms pieces and I am always the villain and scapegoat he should not allow this
I had to have this exact
I had to have this exact conversation with my DH... he got better about it for quite a while and is now backsliding again. Maybe it is time to reiterate.
Your tag line is so true and
Your tag line is so true and is exactly how I feel
You are so spot on its scary
You are so spot on its scary I need to have this conversation with him thank you
I just had this nervous break
I just had this nervous break down last night... and I mean full on nervous breakdown. Screaming, crying, so mad my blood pressure went up. Yes I knew he had kids. But at the time he had me convinced she was a good mom who just didn't want to be married anymore and he made his kids show me some respect. What I didn't know is that she is a psychotic (and I mean that in the most literal of terms) druggie alcoholic who would neglect her children and allow them to be abused until she would eventually meet at a UPS store to sign them away after completely ruining them emotionally. AND I did agree to help my husband. I did not agree to take these kids on fully and then also be portrayed as a monster by everyone including him at every turn. I didn't agree to being a maid, prostitute, and chauffeur, and also be the emotional punching bag who everybody turns on when things get rough. I agreed to be a part of a family and fill the adult woman role. I'm a human, too. Not their personal robot.
"I did not agree to take
"I did not agree to take these kids on fully and then also be portrayed as a monster by everyone including him at every turn. I didn't agree to being a maid, prostitute, and chauffeur, and also be the emotional punching bag who everybody turns on when things get rough."
The MOMENT any of this started to happen, I would have been gone. I hope your situation has improved!
Hear hear
Hear hear
Tell her to mind her own
Tell her to mind her own business, and then stop talking to her. Disengage from the MIL! No reason you NEED to speak to her or listen to anything she has to say. Who needs that negativity in their life?
Put that on your SO. Let HIM deal with his mother. If he refuses to stand up for you and defend you to his mother, then stop doing for him. Stop doing ANYTHING for him and his kid.
99% of the problems in step situations can and SHOULD be addressed by DH (or DW in stepdad situations). Whether it's boundaries with the ex or in-laws, parenting with the skids, or attention/affection for the SM. Put it on him to fix .. it's not your family, not your kid, and it certainly doesn't NEED to be your problem.
Your SO can buy an equity
Your SO can buy an equity property if he feels that strongly.... There is nothing stopping him from securing his own future - but there is absolutely no reason you have to pad him just because he moved in with you...
I agree and he has talked
I agree and he has talked about that as well. Right now we are just up in the air about what we are doing so haven't really done anything. We are working on getting this house ready to put up for sale. When it sells that may be my breaking point to say see ya I don't need this drama that is affecting my physical and emotional well-being. Right now it's a waiting game but for him to say to his mom I don't know what's going on or what will happen in the future is bs when we have talked about it numerous times and just makes me look bad in eyes of mil by not looking like we have a plan not that it's her business any way I am a 40 yr old independent woman and can stand I. My own. I don't need her son or any other man for that matter to support me.