tooth fairy OMFG... vent...

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After BM decided she would take up DB's grandparents offer to let her use their trailer and the family campground... on his bday weekend. Oh wait... she did email him and ask him what his plans where so she could "work around them". Apparently her idea of working around them was nothing which we knew would happen. He also had to drive all the way out to the campground to see his kids for the time he was allotted for his bday. Because we have money to throw away into the gas tank... yeah right! We get this his family asks him to stay for a bit he declines. BM says you should stay I will go and stay at my camper he declines. We get into a conversation with his mother and stick around thinking that maybe she will stand by her word... HA!! She is over there 15 min later doing something with SS... Anyways this was a pretty big piss off in general.

To top it all off then he gets the kids yesterday SD lost her tooth this weekend she called to let us know on sat night.. SD was pretty excited. SD comes running up to me after work and says look the tooth fairy is going to come to the house hopefully tonight!! EXCUSE ME?! I wanted to call the b*tch up that second now your kid looses her tooth on your time and we are paying for it?! I am livid. She obviously had change the kids came back to us "hardly eatin all weekend" according to BM just freezes and candy. SS1.5yr is burnt to all hell and missed his nap... way to go round of applaus for mother of the year! It is called sunscreen water and food...

On a plus side there was no "love letter disguised birthday gifts" from the kids so that was nice.

By the time SD7 lost her

By the time SD7 lost her first tooth, she didn't even believe in the tooth fairy anymore. She got $1 and a sheet of stickers under her pillow .. not exactly a financial burden.

As for the other stuff, you can't control what BM is going to do with the skids on her time. If she doesn't feed, water, and sunscreen them, there isn't much you can do. If it's abusive or neglectful, call CPS and have her investigated.

Your DH needs to set and stick to some boundaries if the other crap is going to stop. Why is okay with BM hanging out with his family on vacation? Seems a little odd to me ..

I realize its not a financial

I realize its not a financial burden... however its kind of like the straw that broke the cammels back just annoying... totally a vent just another thing!

It was not ok with DB she was told by him that was not acceptable and he did not appreciated he did not want her out there its his family not hers... he can only do so much though. At that point I feel his family could have done a better job of backing him up. He feels the same his grandparents are a lost cause obviously however, I could tell he was upset his own mother and father said or did nothing.

I know it's still a learning

I know it's still a learning process and it takes time. She clearly has no boundaries now, so it will be a long road to get there.

Next time she pulls something like that, he needs to pick the skid and leave. There's no reason to stand around talking with BM hovering in the perimeter. That will hopefully send the message to her AND his family. He MUST refuse to engage in those types of situations.

Best of luck to you!

This is something we are

This is something we are really trying hard to do but I think we can get better at that... It was a very crappy situation to choose between waiting to see his brother who is not really involved or choosing to leave. It all get so complicated I for one don't understand what is so hard about supporting your own son!

that sucks I hope it gets

that sucks I hope it gets better... he seems really hurt by it!

Yeah, FDH ex asked for a

Yeah, FDH ex asked for a check when SD had some teeth pulled for tooth fairy money. It's amazing how far they take some things.

lol I told DB we should

lol I told DB we should charge her for the fuel cost to go get the kids on a pre arranged day... but the tooth fairy.. cmon people.

Do your SO's parents support

Do your SO's parents support her in this situation due to their son's actions? You have a 18 month old SS? Maybe they feel she needs help being in the situation she is in.

And there son doesn't? She

And there son doesn't? She has a full time job and her kids 50% of the time... As does he.

Seriously - pitching a fit

Seriously - pitching a fit over the $1-$5 the tooth fairy brings? Come on - how pathetic is that? Both of mine lost teeth at Dad's and came home expecting the tooth fairy to come here. If THIS is your biggest problem as a stepparent? Count your blessings.

like I said above there are

like I said above there are larger issues just how the entire gong show of a weekend ended. And yes I think its convenient that BM couldn't pull a quarter out of her pocket or invest in sunscreen but had money to booze it up camping all weekend. Its a VENT people if you don't like it don't read a topic that has it in the subject.

There is a larger issue in

There is a larger issue in this situation. A MUCH larger one if I remember correctly. Are you the poster whose SO is still married? If so, I remember in last week's post people were stating how long divorces can take, years and years, blah blah... and now there is a 18 month old SS mentioned. A baby? Wow.

If my boys put a their wife in this situation I would most definitely support my daughter in law in any way I could. Not to mention the fury I would unleash on my son.

I think you are expecting way too much too soon. He is still married and has a relatively young baby with this woman. And you/posters in this board want to discuss boundaries? Really? Boundaries?

Oh he is still married to BM.

Oh he is still married to BM. That's the problem. She wants boundaries between him and his STBX and his parents and STBX yet she lives with him- and he is still married to BM. Creates a lot of unnecessary drama. I would certainly not complicate my life with a situation like this...but that is just me.

Not that it is any of your

Not that it is any of your business but SS was accidental they where split before SS and tried to make it work during the pregnancy it did not. He also supported her to stay at home for the first 9 months or so yet still practiced 50% visitation of his children who where never breastfed so it was not a problem. Her income was higher then his for the first 6 months of the separation. I would not be surprised if he looked at the first year or their entire 2 year separation if her total income has been higher. He left her with everything and just took his clothes... So yes both he and I find it difficult to watch his parents do such things. It upsets him even more when they tell him they are there for him and are neutral. Last time I checks neutral is not choosing your ex over you on your birthday.

Frankly if you have a problem with me then email me but following around my posts and judging is getting old.

You are posting on a public

You are posting on a public board. You are going to get dissenting views. That is life.

Big whoop. Kid was not so

Big whoop. Kid was not so accidental that Mom fell on Dad's penis. He CHOSE to screw her. Really.

It always drives me nuts when

It always drives me nuts when women make excuses for men as though these men are seduced by evil sirens casting spells that create children after one 30 second sexual escapade.

Do you know why my husband knocked up BM twice in one year? Because he was STUPID. That's right. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I will make no excuses for his bad life choices. Luckily in his case he was able to succeed in life and as a father, he should thank sweet baby Jesus for that.

yup everyone was dumb its

yup everyone was dumb its called condoms and swallowing a pill I managed to do it just fine...!DB Has been taking care of his better then BM in my humble opinion. They get fed, sunscreen, water and naps for a full 3 days in a row and most of the time more then 3 days its pretty amazing. I get ppl make mistakes but the birthday was a serious fyou and I dont think its normal to give your kid heat exhausting over a weekend. I might be expecting to much.

yup everyone was dumb its

He is still married and has a

He is still married and has a relatively young baby with this woman. And you/posters in this board want to discuss boundaries? Really? Boundaries?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Most families, in the event of a separation, don’t continue to invite the ex to family gatherings. And I’m sure you all would support that. Obviously I wouldn’t welcome my ex to a family gathering after I was separated from him. I don’t need to be divorced for that to happen.

But, throw in a new love interest and the tune changes. But, he’s married. You shouldn’t be talking boundaries etc. There’s no reason why the BM shouldn’t be invited…..etc. etc.

IMHO, separation should be treated the same as divorce. Just like living together is often treated the same as marriage.

Definition of Separation
sep•a•ra•tion (s p -r sh n)
n.
1.
a. The act or process of separating.
b. The condition of being separated.
2. The place at which a division or parting occurs.
3. An interval or space that separates; a gap.
4.
a. Law An agreement or court decree terminating a spousal relationship.
b. Discharge, as from employment or military service.

^^^^

::sigh:: I can understand

::sigh::

I can understand posters who want to play devil's advocate for the BM side of things. But it gets pretty old when you see a certain poster's name and you just KNOW that they are going to start crap just for the sake of starting crap, whether it has any relevance to what the OP is talking about or not.

Gets a little old. Maybe some people should have went out for their debate team in school if they have such a need for attention, arguing and drama.

Well put... what are your

Well put... what are your thoughts I guess maybe me expecting some kind of turn around in year is too early... That's how long he has been trying to push back for. I feel horrible because he seems to be giving up. No one should have to just give up on fighting to have your family back you up

If you're fighting to have

If you're fighting to have your family back you up, it's not family worth having. Time for him to sever ties, at least temporarily. Seriously .. you shouldn't have to convince your support system to support you ..

Ladyface, my husband wouldn't

Ladyface, my husband wouldn't even go.to.his own party if BM was invited!

No way.

Remember the poster whose fiances kids BM LIVED w the inlaws? man, that would be tough

God this sucks my in laws had

God this sucks my in laws had bm living with them because she had no place to go and in laws were well aware of the drama bm was creating. My SO went nuts. And now what I get is that I should be willing to do drop offs and pick ups when SO is not there....not as well that I dont want sd around because my kids are older and I don't want to deal with sd5 so this is why she was put into 2 weeks of day camp (which i will be driving her too)all this from mil....really what the hell have I been doing for a year and a half it's such bullshit families just need to stay out of this

First off, let me just say

First off, let me just say this... Holy illiterate mess of a post, so I hope I'm understanding it correctly. Now, for my thoughts on the subject of the post or at least what I think I got out of it... my DH finally had to tell his family it is BM or him. Not both. And then started removing people from his life. They eventually got the point and dumped her. Only difference being that our BM has "no contact" orders so there is no reason that his family would have to communicate with her for the kids' sake. With such a young skid and her having 50% custody, good luck getting them to be anything other than neutral. You are right about it being on his birthday weekend, though. She should not have been allowed to come out there if they knew that he planned on spending his birthday out there. That was extremely disrespectful of his family regardless of whether or not they are legally separated or divorced.

lol I know! I am sorry I

lol I know! I am sorry I couldn't go back and edit. I guess nights with the skids will do this to you but thanks for your input. I think you got the general gist of what is going on.

I actually thought this exact

I actually thought this exact thing to myself... I guess it is the repetition that bothered me this was not just one day it was a span of 3... We had to recuperate SS from full blown heat exhaustion. There is a CPS file for a previous incident. I guess my patience is wearing thin with this woman. She has a past of name calling and loosing her mind to DB but beyond that will also name call when she knows it will get back to me. I have never in the year I have had to deal with this woman done it to her. So after seeing her consistently practice borderline abandonment and such with her kids. After consistently having to fix the kids because she cant (but apparently their father is a worthless stupid piece of crap) of constant "ailments". After dealing with constant attacks personally towards DB and myself it gets old. It gets very hard to see through what a normal parent does and what she does. Had it just been sunscreen it would have been something. This kid was a lobster it wasn't just one days worth. Mixed with the fact that she just admitted with no real disappointment that she been unable to feed them properly for the last three days.... I agree with you we all do things wrong however, that is a pretty big group in a weekend.

I have to ask. Why did the

I have to ask. Why did the grandparents (your BF's parent) not see to it that the children had proper food, drinks, sunscreen? I'd be just as angry with my parents for issuing an invitation and hostessing my ex and my child then neglecting to see to it the kids were ok. No grandchild of mine would spend the weekend with me and be found in the condition your BF's kids were.

If BM is too foolish to care for her kids under my invitation to camp, you can bank on it that I would have pushed myself right into caring for them and seeing to it they had everything they needed (whether BM felt offended or thought I'd crossed boundaries or not). No child should be running around all dehydrated, burnt to a crisp and hungry for several days.

Not to sound mean, but, well, these grandparents and BM seem to be three little brainless peas in a pod.

I don't think grandparents

I don't think grandparents where aware and the campsites are separated. The children most likely had food available just refused to eat! I am sure BM did not try to any harder then offering them hot food on a hot day and letting them get away with not eating. Although I am slightly upset that no one noticed I understand how. Unless they had gone over the camper in which she was staying and watched 24/7 they would not have known. She certainly would not have mentioned that they weren't eating well and she wasn't doing anything about it other then offering junk. That would damage her otherwise perfect persona with the grandparents. I am hoping that the grandparents did not just look on... I would be horrified if I knew that was the case.

Hello ladies thank you for

Hello ladies thank you for all your input I told DB last night I would be disengaging from his family completely.... It is not worth my time or my effort I will reconsider when they start welcoming and supporting their son!

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tooth fairy OMFG... vent...