Skids missed another field trip
BM gets the skids every other weekend during the summer. She switched her first weekend, so she's gotten them two weeks in a row. She picks them up directly from day care on Friday and drops them off on Sunday.
Skids are in a summer camp day care program where they get field trips every Friday. The kids leave the center around 9:30am and come back around 3pm.
Last week, BM picked skids up at 9am (literally 20 minutes after we dropped them off) because she was off for the day and wanted to spend time with them. Understandable. Skids were upset to miss the field trip.
Today, BM had her boyfriend pick up the skids at 9:15am. BM is at work until 7pm. So while I can understand needing someone to pick them up for you because of your work schedule, why pull them out for the whole day and make them miss another field trip? Her boyfriend appears to be a nice guy, but why would he volunteer to pick up her kids and keep them out of day care all day while she's at work?
BM confirmed last night that she was picking skids up after 3pm (when field trip returns) so we'd already told them they'd be going. They were VERY excited .. so I can imagine the disappointment in missing the second one in a row. They've been looking forward to camp starting for weeks because of the field trips, and haven't gotten to go on any of them yet.
Very odd that her boyfriend
Very odd that her boyfriend kept the kids all day....
Is this a money issue?
There's no discount for skids
There's no discount for skids not being there. It's a flat rate weekly fee; missing days is like paying for a service you're not getting.
The only discount is when you give notice for vacation. It has to be a full week of vacation, and they need at least 2 weeks notice. Then you only pay 1/2 price for that week.
I don't know her boyfriend well .. we've met a few times at exchanges and he's always pleasant. He doesn't have any kids of his own, so maybe it's just something about a man spending time alone with two young girls all day that just gives me the willies.
"I don't know her boyfriend
"I don't know her boyfriend well .. we've met a few times at exchanges and he's always pleasant. He doesn't have any kids of his own, so maybe it's just something about a man spending time alone with two young girls all day that just gives me the willies."
It's not just you... I have the willies for you! I'd definitely be talking to your SDs about good touch/bad touch - on an age appropriate level of course. Make sure they can contact you and/or your DH at all times, until you're 100% sure this new boyfriend is "safe".
DH has touched on it briefly
DH has touched on it briefly with them and we have no real reason to think anything is up. It's honestly just a feeling .. which may be heavily influenced by horror stories on the news and 60 Minutes.
I think I just overreact .. but when the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, it's hard to ignore .. even if it's unfounded!
I'm sure she had to be aware.
I'm sure she had to be aware. He had the code to the daycare entrance and she called to have him added to the pick-up list. The day care called DH to confirm this was okay when the BF actually showed up.
It's all likely explainable. However, it's unlikely BM got the day off at the last minute .. she just started this new position since she recently relocated and she's military .. her schedule is pretty predictable.
I do understand her wanting
I do understand her wanting to spend time with them on her day off. But if she is working, I dont see why they are not going to camp...
She's pay half of the camp
She's pay half of the camp fees, so if she doesn't want them to go on her days, there's not much we can really say about it. It makes no difference to me .. it's just a shame the skids miss out on the fun Friday trips because of it.
This is the same woman who has withheld visitation from the kids' FATHER so they could spend time bonding with her boyfriend.
Yes, she called and gave the
Yes, she called and gave the release this morning. The day care called DH to confirm it was okay.
They split the fees for day care. If he tried to tell her she wasn't allowed to have her boyfriend pick them up, she'd turn around and say the same thing about me picking them up. It's a battle DH probably won't want to start.
It's not so much of a money or permission issue .. it's just weird to me. Perhaps it's just the over-protective paranoid side of me that gets suspicious of grown childless men who want to spend unsupervised time with little girls.
She might be. In fact, I'd
She might be. In fact, I'd probably bet that she is. BM's behavior isn't really what I question (I accepted that she's crazy a long time ago).
I'm more skeptical of the BF agreeing to go along with it.
I totally understand you.
I totally understand you. "grown childless men/unsupervised little girls" just doesn't sit well with me either. And I'm not assuming anything either. Yes, you dont want BM to start that, "if my BF can't then your wife can't" crap... Unless DH has a reason to not have BF picking up his kids, then for now leave that alone. When the girls come back home Sunday night, you will find out if they had other plans for not attending camp...
Exactly .. BM probably won't
Exactly .. BM probably won't let the skids talk to DH all weekend, but we're sure to hear all about their weekend when they come back on Sunday.
They can be typical kids in that regard though .. when we ask them if they had fun, they say "yeah" .. if you ask what they did, they'll say "nothing". LOL
those poor kids - missing a
those poor kids - missing a field trip AGAIN. that is mean of her.
seems like she is trying to replace daddy with the new boyfriend.... little creepy if you ask me
Creepier that the boyfriend
Creepier that the boyfriend is playing along with it, no?
I mean, I get BM is crazy .. but this man has participated to some degree. When BM withheld visitation so skids could spend time with her boyfriend, he had to know what was going on. And if he's okay with that, then maybe he's not a decent guy afterall. I'd be surprised if she was able to keep all the drama/details away from him. Or maybe she's made up some completely BS story? I have no clue anymore :?
Here's the next question ..
Here's the next question .. what (if anything) does DH say to BM about it?
We don't answer questions BM asks about our household, so we tend to not ask questions about hers. I could easily see her rebuffing with a comment like "it's none of your business" .. which it isn't.
And she would be offended if any suggestion of inappropriate behavior were made.
Do parents have a right to ask questions about what's going on in these situations?
i would give my honest
i would give my honest opinion whether she wants it or not, but still be courteous about it. maybe something like "ya know, i know the girls have missed every field trip so far and that's just not cool. i know you were working this past friday, so there was no reason for them to miss it - and as their father, it does concern me when they miss out on things unnecessarily. Not cool at all." and leave it at that...
maybe that'll help?