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Why do my ex and my husbands ex need to be friends on facebook?

all4myfamily's picture

Is this normal for my ex-husband to be friends on facebook with my new husbands ex-wife(BM)? This BM has been bullying me for the last several years and this morning my DD11 said to me, hey mom did you know that my dad is friends with BM on facebook? What could they possibly need to be friends for? She is so nosey it has to be to get info. She already pumps her kids for info and cyber stalks me. I guess nothing should amaze me about this horrible BM. I a at my wits end with her and I am sick of people telling me to just ignore her, that is not working. How can you stop a crazy BM from stalking and bullying you?

SMof2Girls's picture

Block her on Facebook. Better yet, delete your Facebook account.

If she's stalking you in real life, call the cops. It's illegal in most states.

all4myfamily's picture

She has referenced my ex husband in emails. She refers to my upcoming court hearings so she is obviously looking me up on the circuit court system for our state. She always seems to know too much information to use against me. I know she drills her kids for info as I have heard them on facetime and it is question after question about me and my husband. Is that enough to go on?

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Is cyber stalking illegal? I mean if information in online on a website or on a Facebook page is that illegal?

SMof2Girls's picture

To be clear, I'm not sure looking at your Facebook (personal information you willingly post to the internet for others to see) would count as cyber-stalking.

Block her and whoever else you think may be feeding her the information and stop thinking about it.

Unless you don't want to block her so you can check up on her too?

all4myfamily's picture

I do have her blocked and her new husband and her mom. My girls told me about the facebook thing because they saw it and are friends with their Dad. I guess I have to give in to her once again and cancel my facebook all together?? Why does she keep winning and I have to keep altering my life because she can't grow up? I should not have to loose touch with friends and family on facebook because of her.

SMof2Girls's picture

I guess I don't understand why you let her bully you in this way?

Why does it matter if she's friends with your ex-husband on Facebook? If they want to talk, nothing you can do will stop them. Stop worrying about that .. you can't control it.

What exactly is she winning? And do you really consider closing a Facebook account a life-altering event?

How did you keep in contact with your friends and family before Facebook? I honestly believe our society is so OVER-reliant on this social media crap .. and it causes more drama and harm than good.

Anon2009's picture

How did your dd find this out? Did someone show it to her or did she find it herself?

Unless you suspect criminal activity/child abuse, don't look at your ex's or BMs Facebook profiles. Block & de-friend them.

Disneyfan's picture

Maybe they have a thing for one another. Can you imagine having as your children's SM? ?!!

I know DF's exwife would have a field day with something like that.LOL

qtpie013178's picture

She envies that you have a family with the man she couldn't make it work with. Ignore her unless she is physically threatening or you can prove she is publicly slandering you.

WhattaMess's picture

Im with everyone else, Who cares??

If you have something to hide, delete your FB account, if you do not... make it public so she can see it and who gives a crap??

I dont understand either. And the court system searches, that is public information. I DO check up on my kids, on and off SM because SHE is a felon and has a list a MILE long, and I have to keep close watch on WHEN she has a valid driving license and when it is SUSPENDED.

Its been suspended for 1.5yrs, I'd never had known she was driving my kids around town/other states/etc unless i LOOKED on my own. Damn straight, Im checking...

Again, if you have have nothing to hide then let her see........ she will get bored if she doesn't have to be sneaky.

JMHO

emotionaly beat up's picture

She is more than likely getting court dates from your ex. There is nothing you can do about who your ex is friends with so the people who tell you forget it are right because as I said, you can't control who your ex is friends with.

emotionaly beat up's picture

If you read her post what she is complaining about is:-

Her ex husband is Facebook friends with her new husbands ex wife. The two exes are friends and she doesn't like it. I can see her point, but getting all riled up over it when she has no control whatsoever over who her ex is friends with, and even less control over who her new husbands ex is friends with is utterly pointless.

all4myfamily's picture

Update . . . I had mediation with my ex about some placement issues we are working out. At the end of our conversation, I asking him in fronot of the mediator why he was friends with my husbands ex-wife? He stated that he didn't remember friending her but that she sent him a message about a year ago. I gave him a little background as to why I thought it was weird and how she stalks me and our girls. While we were talking he showed me his phone and said ok, how do I unfriend her? I showed him and let him do the honors. Later that evening he let our DD13 show him how to completely block her. I was pretty impressed by his maturity about the situation. However, I do have a cautious side and wonder what she could have possibly needed to message him about. My ex and my husbands ex are both not to be trusted. They are probably already in contact in some other way. I have accepted that I cannot do anything about it and if my husband's ex wife(BM) wants to contact my ex husband for whatever reason, so be it. BM is lower than low in my book. Not wasting anymore time thinking about what she is up to next. Life is good right now and I am going to enjoy it!

SMof2Girls's picture

"Not wasting anymore time thinking about what she is up to next. Life is good right now and I am going to enjoy it!"

Very happy to hear this!!

emotionaly beat up's picture

Good. Glad to see you have accepted there is nothing you can do about this and moved on. Life is to short to stress over things we have absolutely no control over. I'm sure you'll feel much better soon.

Drac0's picture

You may be reading too much into it...

A good friend of mine (who was single at the time) friended my ex-wife on FB. I called him up and asked him why he friended my ex-wife.

His answer: "I just friend any women who wants to friend me on FB. Didn't realize it was your ex! Sorry about that. Hey, she ballooned up didn't she?"

ellarobert's picture

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