I clicked on this conversation as DH spent over $50,000 in a few years trying to rescue step-devil. He was going to pull another $50,000 out of his 401K to send princess to a special rehab/intervention center. We were not married at the time (had just started dating). Thank goodness he didn't do it. It would've been a waste of money as the psychotic brag is unable to be rehabilitated. People who have borderline/narcissistic/histrionic personality disorder are hard to help as they blame everyone else for their problems (princess has these personality disorders). These individuals think nothing is wrong with them; that it's the rest of the world that has a problem. Sounds like this father is headed down the same road as my DH. Fines are a form of punishment. If the step-brat incurred fines due to drug abuse then it's his punishment and therefore his fines to pay, not the fathers. Does this mean that if step-brat is punished to jail time that daddy would go to jail for him? Its the same thing in my eyes. What a mess.
I've posted before about an intact family with a daughter that is a bi-polar addict. They sent her to over 20 different programs (all the well known horribly expensive ones and anything else that would take her). Spent hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars - she's still a bi-polar addict.
Please read what I wrote - being bipolar and addict is not an if and only if condition.
Most addicts are not bipolar.
Most bi-polar people are not addicts.
But there are bipolar addicts that exist. A bi-polar person that refuses medication and chooses to self medicate with alcohol and drugs will most likely become an addict.
No where did I say that all bi-polar people are addicts and that all addicts are bi-polar.
It is guilt. Try $130,000 paid in chld support since the X left over almost 18 years, and the X won't even pay to help her children with college and expenses. DH has the entire bill.
I don't mean to be overly simple about how to solve this, however, ... N......O......... !!! That is the solution. Whether these kids are suffereing from some bullshit behavioral disorder of not they are making decisions and they should feel the consequences of those decisions.
My grandmother had a very simple concept. Listen & learn or feel. Let these idiots feel the consequences of their decisions or you will feel those consequencens for them and they will learn nothing.
Some people are beyond salvage and ruining yourself, your marriage and the rest of your family is a rediculous thing to do even for a kid. Unsalvagable is unsalvagable. If the kid was having a hard time finding their direction but enrolled in college and at least passing classes spending this kind of money would be one thing. For criminal behaviour ... not a snowball's chance in hell would I spend that kind of money .... even my kid.
They have public defenders for this kind of crap.
Cut these unsalvagagle future adult disasters loose and let them learn accountability for themselves rather than trying to buy it for them. Lindsey Lohan is a very public example that this crap is nothing but a waste of time and these idiots need to be locked up to protect society, including their families, from their self indulgent crap.
Wow...way to help your kid
Wow...way to help your kid turn around, Dad!
What the heck for? And what
What the heck for? And what is wrong with Daddy paying them. Sheesh!
For drugs, drinking, traffic.
For drugs, drinking, traffic. Daddy will never be able to retire.
I clicked on this
I clicked on this conversation as DH spent over $50,000 in a few years trying to rescue step-devil. He was going to pull another $50,000 out of his 401K to send princess to a special rehab/intervention center. We were not married at the time (had just started dating). Thank goodness he didn't do it. It would've been a waste of money as the psychotic brag is unable to be rehabilitated. People who have borderline/narcissistic/histrionic personality disorder are hard to help as they blame everyone else for their problems (princess has these personality disorders). These individuals think nothing is wrong with them; that it's the rest of the world that has a problem. Sounds like this father is headed down the same road as my DH. Fines are a form of punishment. If the step-brat incurred fines due to drug abuse then it's his punishment and therefore his fines to pay, not the fathers. Does this mean that if step-brat is punished to jail time that daddy would go to jail for him? Its the same thing in my eyes. What a mess.
I've posted before about an
I've posted before about an intact family with a daughter that is a bi-polar addict. They sent her to over 20 different programs (all the well known horribly expensive ones and anything else that would take her). Spent hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars - she's still a bi-polar addict.
Please read what I wrote -
Please read what I wrote - being bipolar and addict is not an if and only if condition.
Most addicts are not bipolar.
Most bi-polar people are not addicts.
But there are bipolar addicts that exist. A bi-polar person that refuses medication and chooses to self medicate with alcohol and drugs will most likely become an addict.
No where did I say that all bi-polar people are addicts and that all addicts are bi-polar.
It is guilt. Try $130,000
It is guilt. Try $130,000 paid in chld support since the X left over almost 18 years, and the X won't even pay to help her children with college and expenses. DH has the entire bill.
I don't mean to be overly
I don't mean to be overly simple about how to solve this, however, ... N......O......... !!! That is the solution. Whether these kids are suffereing from some bullshit behavioral disorder of not they are making decisions and they should feel the consequences of those decisions.
My grandmother had a very simple concept. Listen & learn or feel. Let these idiots feel the consequences of their decisions or you will feel those consequencens for them and they will learn nothing.
Some people are beyond salvage and ruining yourself, your marriage and the rest of your family is a rediculous thing to do even for a kid. Unsalvagable is unsalvagable. If the kid was having a hard time finding their direction but enrolled in college and at least passing classes spending this kind of money would be one thing. For criminal behaviour ... not a snowball's chance in hell would I spend that kind of money .... even my kid.
They have public defenders for this kind of crap.
Cut these unsalvagagle future adult disasters loose and let them learn accountability for themselves rather than trying to buy it for them. Lindsey Lohan is a very public example that this crap is nothing but a waste of time and these idiots need to be locked up to protect society, including their families, from their self indulgent crap.
All IMHO of course.
Well in that case, one parent
Well in that case, one parent would pay half and the kid would "earn" the rest. Pay his fines, OH NO, he'd be in jail.