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Covering Vacations for his ex

StepMom2girls's picture

Submitted by StepMom2girls on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 6:52pm

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I'm just trying to get a sense of what is right and fair. We have joint custody and trade off on a 3 day-4 day, 4 day-3 day basis. It is set up so we always have Friday nights and every other Saturday night so that she can date.

She asks for a lot of trading days so she take vacations without the kids. Right now we have had them for two extended vacations (more than a week each) already this year, and will have another this summer. Her parents are taking them for 2 weeks (strangely, she thinks we should pay her back for her parents taking the kids even though we are not going on vacation and would rather have the kids) and we will have them for 2 weeks at the holidays. All told she will have 5 vacations without the kids this year. But she is really pushing us to take them for another 2 week vacation in October, as she says she really needs more vacations away from the kids.

I have told my DH that she should do what other parents that choose to take vacations without their kids do, get her family to cover or hire a babysitter.

What do most folks do?

For reference, there are 2 girls ages 9 & 12. We have been married for a year and they have been divorced for 5 years.

StepMom2girls's picture

Submitted by StepMom2girls on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 6:58pm

I've actually suggested we ask for full custody. It would be easier for us and for the girls, even though we are newlyweds.

But it is challenging to have to cancel business travel (and this affects income) to cover her vacations.

StepMom2girls's picture

Submitted by StepMom2girls on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 7:01pm

I'm with you, it is his ex that takes all the vacations. We take one a year, with the kids, and it is to see his parents who aren't able to travel.

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Submitted by StepMom2girls on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 7:22pm

She actually makes way more than he does (six figures AND her parents give her money and pay for her vacations) and since we have them half time neither parent pay CS.

I am pushing hard to stop her manipulation and DH agrees. This recent time he told her he could help her come up with alternatives, but she keeps saying it is only fair because she is single and he is not. And she thinks we owe her for the time her parents will have them so she can go abroad. It doesn't matter that we don't want the time away (but are agreeing because it is right for the kids) and we won't be taking a vacation.

I just wanted a sanity check that this isn't the norm.

StepMom2girls's picture

Submitted by StepMom2girls on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 7:52pm

Thanks. I didn't really think it was. But it helps to have someone else tell you so.