Paying half of reimbursed costs?
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Is it standard practice to have to pay half of costs that the other parent gets reimbursment for?
BM is moving back to MD, military is paying her moving costs. She still wants DH to pay half of the flight cost for her and the girls. But she will be getting a reimbursement from the Navy to pay for MORE than the cost of her move (including the relocation of her and the kids) .. it's an increased amount because she has dependents.
Has anyone dealt with this? The CO just says they'll split travel costs. But if she's being reimbursed by her job, that's not really a COST to her, right? So there's no out of pocket cost to split ..
Not really sure how this would go down in court .. just curious if anyone has had a similar situation.
That's what I think too ..
That's what I think too .. I'm just not sure if we'd win this argument if it ever went to court.
I don't honestly think BM would hire an attorney over $300, but just in case ..
DH is emailing his attorney to ask. We're in no rush to respond to her or pay the money.
NO WAY!
NO WAY!
Technically, it is costing
Technically, it is costing her nothing. Half of nothing is.....
She's trying to double dip.
Exactly! I think she's
Exactly! I think she's trying to (or planning to) say that because the girls are moving here BEFORE her that they're not "covered" under her moving allowance.
But when they moved down there, they moved 6 weeks after her .. and were still covered.
He could say "I'd only give
He could say "I'd only give you half of the flights if you pay it back when YOU get reimbursed" - shut her up quick
He's thinking of responding
He's thinking of responding and saying,
"I will pay half of the cost once the girls arrive here safely and you provide documented proof that no dependent-related reimbursement was received"
I don't even know if that type of documentation exists, lol, but it would get the point across.
She just sent another email saying, "I need to know when you're paying your half ASAP."
Sorry b*!@h, there's no timeline in the custody agreement.
I forgot to mention, she also
I forgot to mention, she also wants half of her flight BACK to Texas the following Monday (after her weekend visit with her boyfriend).
I'm not sure why she's going back, but I assume she plans to drive her car back to Maryland instead of having it shipped. She has a dog and two cats which I know she won't want to fly. She drove down there the first time for that very reason.
The other thing I just
The other thing I just thought of .. the CO doesn't say anything about reimbursing for half of relocation costs. It just says travel between the parents home to executive visitation.
She's bringing the girls to MD on May 24 because she's moving. She's not required to produce them to DH until a week later .. so her argument that this flight is for visitation (and therefore covered under the CO) is pretty much bullshit.
Her move-in date at her new place is June 1.
I'm pretty sure that the
I'm pretty sure that the courts mean the travel costs for the skids to visit their dad and then go back home. Not for BM and skids to move!
Exactly! I was just typing
Exactly! I was just typing that above! She's trying to skew it to sound like she's bringing them here to execute summer visitation .. but that's a very thin cover.
She will accuse him of
She will accuse him of harassment. DH's lawyer has advised against doing this because if she were to press charges or something, the civilian courts just see it as DH calling her employer to try and get her in trouble for unrelated matters.
And I don't think we'd be able to get copies of any of her travel info without her permission, would we?
No, it is Privacy Act of 1974
No, it is Privacy Act of 1974 information.
Sorry, no, I can't imagine a
Sorry, no, I can't imagine a court would make your DH pay for costs for HER freaking move. That is crap. I wouldn't pay a dime for the kids to move, much less the BM.
Why doesn't Dh postpone his
Why doesn't Dh postpone his visitation by a day so it falls on Bm's move in date. Then all the travel he has to pay for is the gas to pick them up since they would be living close already?
Uh, okay so I'm not much of a
Uh, okay so I'm not much of a poster here.... more of a lurker and reader. (that almost makes me sound like a stalker....)
BUT, I used to be a military wife and orchestrated, mostly on my own (want to hear a great big long rampage about moving overseas with small children and a cat ALONE?!??!), a total of 17 different PCS moves......
Your Dh's X is trying to double dip and stick it to your Dh.
***"I forgot to mention, she also wants half of her flight BACK to Texas the following Monday (after her weekend visit with her boyfriend).
I'm not sure why she's going back, but I assume she plans to drive her car back to Maryland instead of having it shipped. She has a dog and two cats which I know she won't want to fly. She drove down there the first time for that very reason."***
Okay, so here is my thoughts on this....
She has to drive her car and animals (which the Navy will NOT move CONUS). To get full reimbursement she won't be submitting a travel claim with the kid's plane tickets. It IS possible to get both, but it comes at a cost (partial vs full per diem claim) and can be a PIA to do. I suspect you might even have to get pre-approval now from the command. Why bother when she can just stick it to the two of you? Plus, then she gets the per diem for the kids and doesn't have to drive with them. BTDT. I would much rather drive from TX to MD (and I've done that drive, 6 times in 3 different routes) alone than with kids.
***"Exactly! I think she's trying to (or planning to) say that because the girls are moving here BEFORE her that they're not "covered" under her moving allowance."***
Now see, IMHO, this is what she wants you to think.
How much do you know about military moves? She gets several allowances and non-taxable pays for moving. Take a look here: http://www.dfas.mil/pcstravel/milentitlements.html
SM2-oh-someone-above-me said something close to what you should ask for....what I personally would ask for. You tell her this:
We will pay for 1/2 of the necessary airfare costs that are NOT listed and reimbursed on your DD 1351-2 (if you say this on the phone you say: DD 1 3 5 1 tack 2) Travel Voucher claim AFTER it has been submitted and accepted. (You want to see what she actually submits.) ETA: If the kids are listed on your Per Diem, then their air fare wasn't a necessity.
Did I understand correctly.... she is flying the kids and then driving a week later??
If that is the case, tell her to forget the flight. Suck it up and drive the kids. You aren't paying for unnecessary plane tickets when the military pays for her to move the kids.
Anyway, good luck and I hope this helps you some.
Kate
Yes, this is very helpful!
Yes, this is very helpful!
I have no doubt she is trying to double dip. DH has basically refused to pay anything until he consults with his attorney .. which he has refused to do until she provides the copy with her draft changes to the most recent change order she's been sitting on.
It's extremely clear what's going on to me .. she doesn't want to drive the girls (I don't blame her). But flying the girls here a week before she's legally obligated to under the CO (1 week after school ends) doesn't make it visitation related .. it makes it moving related.
She's also threatened to have her boyfriend (who lives here in MD) watch the girls for duration of the time between the flight and one week from the last day of school in MD (NOT where the girls are enrolled, but where they will be living and enrolled next year). Basically, if DH doesn't pay half his share, she will have someone else take care of the kids in MD and NOT him. Guess she forgot about a little thing called "right of first refusal". If she's not physically here to take care of them, they HAVE to go to DH.
Dude, she is whacked. Do you
Dude, she is whacked.
Do you know where the kids will be at the boy friends?
If I were him, I'd show up with the CO and threaten to call the cops AFTER she leaves.
What a cluster F.
I don't blame her for not wanting to drive kids. It doesn't matter which way you drive that, it is a stinky drive (not as bad as San A to Ft. Bliss....but I digress) and with kids it down right sucks. But, dude, have some balls and be honest about it AND pay the stinking bill yourself (meaning her, not you).
Kate
She's already provided the
She's already provided the flight information. DH will show up at the airport if need be. She has refused to provide the address of where the boyfriend lives.
Even still, once the kids are local (within 60 miles), DH gets every weekend with them. So when she flies in Friday night with them, they would still go with DH. When she flies out Sunday, who's going to pick them up from DH? Her boyfriend? LOL yeah right ...
All this because DH doesn't want to pay $300 of his share of the cost .. and she's getting how many thousand from the Navy to relocate? Makes me sick ..
And back to the very fundamentals of all this .. how is any of this crap she's pulling benefiting the children? :?