Hello everyone! I am new to Steptalk and the forums. I was so happy when I came across this website, especially after reading some of the posts here. I feel like I can open up, I feel safe not to be judged.

I met my husband 10 years ago, the day we met I became aware that he had a 2 year old son to which I was thrilled about because I ADORED kids. Well, a few weeks into our relationship, after falling madly in love he comes to me crying that his son had vanished. That the mom took him away and he didn't know where he had gone. The story of his vanishing followed with some horrific stories about a deadbeat mom. She was on drugs, was severely neglectful and my then boyfriend had been fighting for him since he was born with no luck. She was a ward of the court and since it was a small town EVERYONE in the system, including CPS knew her and they ALL sided with her. I took it with a grain of salt as people tend to over exaggerated their ex's, sometimes they even embellish. I loved him but everything he told me seems more and more unbelievable. Anyway, a month and a half later we ended up getting married, one month after that we got pregnant with our first child. After I gave birth we hired a PI to hunt down BD's ex and son. We had tried for months and months on our own and had no luck After finding them we had our lawyer threaten the BM for dear life and she allowed myself and my husband visitation. A few weeks later she "let us" take him on a car ride. Sadly he didn't seem to remember my husband but this beautiful little boy looked just like him and I loved this child the second we met! In the car he asked if we knew his real daddy and told us how his "real" daddy was in a car crash and his blood and guts were scattered all over the floor. Apparently a story concocted by his mother. After hearing the story we set him down and explained to him that we didn't know where he was. From then on our relationship grew and we became a really great family. We took him on weekends (when we could get mom to answer the door!) and basically followed the joint custody order. This kid was terrified of his mother, he was fitting into size 12 clothing and he was 3 and had never once had a mom read him a story. On his own in less than a month he started calling me mommy. I wasn't comfortable with it, so we decided on "mama Jenna" instead. A few months after that he came to us for our first summer visited as a family. During this time he confessed to us that his mother was doing horrible sexual things to him. We called the police and CPS immediately upon hearing the very graphic stories this 3 year old told to us. It was something straight out of Law and Order SVU, horrible things! The police told us to not return the child and we immediately got him into therapy. Less than a month into things CPS called us and ordered us to give him back to his mom because we were violating a court order and they were going to send the police to arrest us. We were torn, we couldn't get hold of the officer in charge and CPS ended up at our door. They took him away from our arms and gave him back. The mom and step-dad immediately vanished with him. The police who CRUCIFIED CPS issued and arrest warrant for sexual exploitation of a minor. She was arrested a month later and we ended up in the battle of our lives trying to protect an innocent little boy. His mom ended up getting off on a technicality because a CPS officer asked him on video "did your mom ..... do ..... to you?" and they claimed it was a leading question. EVEN THOUGH the first thing out of his mouth, before ANYONE spoke was "are you going to make my mommy stop doing things to me?". Of course they gave him back to her and AGAIN she vanished. This time she vanished until he was 10 years old. We couldn't find him no matter what we did or who we hired.

During this time my husband and I had 2 more kids for a total of 3. During a family outing last year we got a phone call from CPS that he and his 3 year old sibling had been removed from their mother and step dads home due to severe meth use and abuse. 2 months later we brought him home to us again. We were OVERJOYED to have him back. I had considered this child to be mine. I loved him like I had given birth to him myself. The only issue was that the kid I knew was gone. The last year the boy we have come to know is physically abusive to his siblings (we had to have him hospitalized for harming our 3 year old and tearing his room to shreds) and is a pathological liar and master manipulator. Now I know he has been through a lot but we have ruled and expect the members of our family to have mutual respect for one another. He has no respect for anyone! He lies about EVERYTHING from serious things to minor. I have to find out the truth from outside sources. My 5 year old daughter has seen so much crap that she herself has turned to hitting her siblings as well. This boy is three times the size of my oldest child who is 8 and I don't know what to do. He can look you dead in the eye and lie to you. When you catch him he can spin another lie within half a second to contradict his first story. You never know what to believe and honestly I am scared of him. He is like his mother and stepfather all rolled into one, they are frightening people! We have had him in therapy since the day he came, we have seen some minor differences here and there but really we don't think it has helped much. He tells people what they want to hear and plays with emotions. I have never in my life seen a 11 year old child who behaved this way. We know he is broken but we don't know how to put him back again. In less than 24 hours his baby sister from mom and step-dad is going to be our new daughter. CPS asked and we didn't want to deny him his blood, we know we have the love to give. I love my step-son DEEPLY but lately there has been a blackened part of my heart for him and I just don't know what to do. I do not want to disassociate myself from him as he is mine, I have paperwork that says so. I just want him to be receptive of love and know how to give it back. I am just lost. Any advice you all might be able to give for this horrific situation would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I am living in a soap opera!