Luckily I have a sleepout - it is cold out here but I have the computer and a tv to keep my company while I avoid my stepkids.
It is so hard and I don't understand why I feel this way about them. I am not a hateful person. I don't have any enemies - I am fairly normal and calm ---- until they come for their 50% time with us.
There just isn't much I can relate to with them at all. They just sit around all day - eating and doing nothing. They must be so bored doing that - I said why don't they organise to go out - we can take them to the mall or to their friends place - but they just sit.
Funny how I love my husband so much when they aren't around. We make plans, have fun, enjoy each others company. Then they come around and within 24 hours I am thinking I can't live with him any longer.
Having different values - different expectations - even different menus from their mother. I didn't do anything wrong, I just happened to fall in love with their father. Why does that make me the enemy?
And it hurts that they probably think of me as the worst person in the world.
I read somewhere that you have to let go of any responsibility towards them. That could work - I don't have to cook for them, clean up after them, run after them. In fact I don't have to have much to do with them at all. OK that is fine, but I still have to live with them (or not).
I read a forum where the stepkids are writing in the same hateful way about their stepmothers. How the stepmothers are ruining their lives. Funny how it works both ways.
I wish I could figure out a way around this problem. I don't want to leave my husband - he is the best husband anyone could want (except for his weak parenting skills). Its not his fault - he is not a naturally good father in my opinion but he still loves them in his own way.
But it isn't healthy for me to stay in the marriage when I am so upset and angry when the kids are around. I have two kids of my own - they are older and have left home. It is so much easier with your own kids that's for sure.
And the sad thing is that I just don't want to try any more. I have been with my husband for about 9 years and married for 3. And I now just move out when they come home. I haven't actually seen them for a few weeks now - but it is my house I have moved out of. I still go over to sleep in the house but move back out to the sleep out ,or stay in the bedroom during the day. Sad way to live.

I have spent money on counselling, I have apologised to them, I have tried to just live with them and not worry about being totally ignored. In the 9 years I have known them I think my SD may have spoken less than 500 words to me in total. The SS may have spoken a few more. How sad is that? It is so hard to live with people who so obviously hate your guts.