Not normal but it seems the parents are encouraging it by the way they treat her. If they'd say buck up sometimes we lose sometimes we win. This kid needs to learn how to lose graciously. My son used to BMX race and once we were at a national race and he came in second and he went over to the fence and had his head down and was bumping his head on his handle bars. My xh told him once that losing is part of racing exactly the same as winning, in fact MORE lose then win b/c there can only be one first place rider. Then we walked away from him. In about 1 minute he was taking his helmet off and setting his bike down and running off with his buddies to play. After that we never had an issue again. We ignored his babyish behaviors and he wasn't getting attention so he shook it off.

I don't think it's normal, but she could have been upset by the dispute that happened between you and bm (and I agree that what bm did was totally inappropriate). But who really wants to see their mom and stepmother in a dispute? She could have been feeling shaken up over that.

I coach softball - this is NOT normal. And most coaches don't want kids to go to their parents while playing the game. (Unless injured of course)

I get that she felt bad, but how do you think the pitcher, who struck her out, felt seeing her cry; or the other kids on her team that may have struck out as well? Her parents need a good scolding from the coach for that kind of nonsense.

gah.

Of course, my kids think I'm a hard ass when it comes to softball. I'm more apt to tell a kid to "walk it off" or "rub dirt on it" you'll be fine...

SS12 and DS9 have been plaing ball since they were both 4. Their coaches have a strict rule that parents aren't allowed to come in the dugout or the field unless a kid is severely injured. SS's coach is an EMT, so he's asked that parent's not come unless he calls them over. SS12 takes baseball very seriously and with all his pre-teen hormones, there have been several times when he's flipped his lid over a "bad" call. The coach made him sit out for the last 3 innings (he's the main pitcher) for one of his outbursts. He never did it again.

I'd have DH talk to the coach about SD's behavior. It might be best for the next little bit that you stay in the bleachers until the coach dismisses the kids (after the post-game pep talk). The coach is a neutral adult in SD's life and one who hopefully cares about SD's happiness. Sometimes that type of person can reach a kid easier and without all the guilt mom and dad feel.

From what I have seen between my daughter and Stepdevil is they may only be 6 mos apart in age (15 & 14, respectively) but they were raised entirely different. My DD15 is responsible, respectful and polite. SD is whiny, manipulative and a liar.

DD was raised with the "walk it off, you're fine" attitude. Even after our divorce. SD was raised with the "oh here princess, let mommy or daddy do that for you" and I believe was emotionally stunted at age 11 due to their divorce.

I could easily trust DD15 to do pretty much anything but I wouldn't trust SD to so much as take out the trash without some big drama surrounding it. DD was doing her own laundry at age 10. SD was complaining that she couldn't put a new trash bag in the bin because it was "too hard" at age 12.

There's just so many differences in the two of them, you'd never guess they're 6 mos apart in age. DD says she chooses to make having a split household the best of both worlds. She gets to hang out with her friends and enjoy going to school with them there, and here she gets more attention, affection and freedom. SD on the other hand tried everything known to man to break DH and I up so she could have her family back together where she was the apple of both parent's eye and the center of their world.

If this had been DD, I know exactly how she would've handled it. She would've said "oh well, better luck next time". SD would've reacted the same way yours did. Pouting, crying, it's not fair, daddy hold me bullshit.

DS11 has been involved in sports for 7 years. We've always had a "what happens on the court/field stays there." At some point, the "my parent's got divorced" excuse won't be good enough. If her parents won't help her buck up, maybe look into therapy?

In a few years, it won't be Daddy she runs crying to, it will be the new boyfriend. Maybe letting DH know that will help him to teach SD a better way to deal.

Definitely not normal at that age. I played sports all my life and no one at that age cries during a game. Maybe afterwards in the privacy of your own home if you are really upset about something, but not in front of everyone at the game. That would be downright embarassing to most people. It's definitely attention-seeking. And BM is HOLDING an 11 year old?? Dear God...

I know exactly what you're experiencing there. My fiancee's oldest cries over EVERYTHING, and her BM coddles her instead of telling her simply that hey, shit happens. It drives me absolutely insane! I've never in my life seen a kid fall to pieces over such silly things as she does. But, mommy dearest condones the behavior instead of trying to stop it. She's setting the kid up for failure in the long run. Nobody in the working world is going to pity you if you get your feelings hurt.