Another short spew
Last week DH asked me what we were doing this Thursday. I said I wasn't sure, why do you ask. He said that SD needed him to pick up the gskids and take them to various sports practices. I suggested he drop them off and SD can have someone from the team take them home. I guess that didn't pan out. I just sent an email to DH to ask about our schedules this week. Rather than respond he called me. First thing out of his mouth was that he screwed up. I kept my composure throughout the conversation because I knew where he was going. You see Thursday is our wedding anniversary, and rather than be with me, DH will be with the gskids until 8:00 p.m. or later. Without traffic, they live almost an hour away and practice will go until 7:30.
Not sure what SD is doing that she can only have DH chauffeur the gskids but I wouldn't put it past her to create an event just so that we can't celebrate our anniversary.
I said "it is what it is." He responded with "yes, I know." He again said that he screwed up and I repeated "it is what it is." I guess he didn't like that I said it again because he immediately said "you've already said that." Gee, should I wonder why SD has catty remarks?
I told him not to worry about it because I would try to set up a dinner date with one of my girlfriends. He tried to joke that he was being replaced, I simply said "no, I don't want to spend my anniversary by myself."
I'm proud of myself for not freaking out. Hopefully, I can remain calm and not say anything to DH that he might turn around on me. Another trait SD has, it's never their fault.
Thank you for listening. 
What a jerk. I don't have any
What a jerk. I don't have any advice. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You may want to tell him that in the future, just saying he "screwed up" will not be acceptable.
oh man, if that were my
oh man, if that were my DH...
He'd hear my "suggestion" that he call SD and let HER know that he made a mistake as the day is a very important day and he has plans.
SD probably wants to have a
SD probably wants to have a nice dinner with her DH (or boyfriend if she's not married). That's way more important than your anniversary. You know she is a COD.
He really should have called
He really should have called SD and told it was a special day for the two of you. However, men will choose the path of least resistance. The SD prob throws a bigger tantrum that you do. Bottomline, it is just another day. You can schedule the anniversary date for another day. Don't make a big deal out of this. In the long run your husband will love you more for it. Will it really matter a month from now? Gives you something good to complain about to your friends over coffee.....
That's horrible! As wrong as
That's horrible!
As wrong as it is of SD to play games like this I blame your husband more for not standing up to her and saying, "I'm sorry I can't help on that day, it is my anniversary, but I can help on the other days," and not budging on your anniversary date.
On a somewhat-side note, I wonder how SD would like it if someone was playing games like this with her and her SO/DH. It amazes me how so many people can dish it out but can't take it.
I agree with each of you, DH
I agree with each of you, DH should have called SD to tell her that he screwed up but that would never happen. She is in a bind and DH has to save her, that's what he does for her. DH had a dilemma and I knew he would never tell her no. He wouldn't even suggest she ask the coach or another adult to drive them home, Lord knows that's what most responsible adults would do rather than ask a parent to make the trip. Gee,she could have asked her BF to help her out, after all, one month after she and her former husband separated she told me that she was looking for a man just like DH! The BF would be a great fill-in, not!
SD got drunk during our
SD got drunk during our wedding reception, it was a nasty scene but I felt sorry for her and continued to enjoy "our day." Months later she apologized to me for making a scene and making it about her. I told her that she didn't ruin our day, that we had a wonderful time and made beautiful memories. I'd hoped she would learn a lesson from my response but it doesn't seem that way. I do feel sorry for her and I think there are times DH feels the same but is afraid to hurt her. A few months ago when she was being particularly obnoxious, without saying her name, DH said that some people who are miserable don't like to see others happy. Makes me feel sorry for DH too, he's so torn.
You're very generous but his
You're very generous but his daughter is an ADULT now with children and MEN of her own. He should not be "torn" anymore. You, and especially, your anniversary, should come first.
It's time for him to recognize his priorities.
"I simply said 'no, I don't
"I simply said 'no, I don't want to spend my anniversary by myself.'" Your response was perfect. If she pulled that scene at your wedding then she knows it was your anniversary. I agree with the other posters. He should phone her and tell HER he screwed up, that he is taking you out for dinner and she will have to find a replacement. Of course, we know he will try to weasel out of it to shut SD up but your marriage AND your anniversary should be top priority to him - period. He not only screwed up by being SD's chauffeur on your anniversary, he is also screwing himself out a good relationship with his wife. I'd make this work out for you. Let him 'make it up to you' with a VEEEERRRY special gift (like diamonds?).
^^^^ Great idea! And I
^^^^ Great idea! And I wouldn't wait for him to get them. I'd go shopping with my girlfriends and come home and show him the wonderful anniversary gift he bought you while he was out running around for his mini wife!
LOL!!!!
LOL!!!!
Definitely!!!!
Definitely!!!!
Yep, I don't know why these
Yep, I don't know why these men think they're so special that we'll put up with all this crap. Maybe because we let them? Maybe it's time to stop?
I totally love everyone's
I totally love everyone's response and thank you for taking the time to help me. You've made me laugh, smile and realize I'm not in this alone. Thank you all
BTW, I am lucky in that DH's family love me (except the SK's) and I feel the same about them. Two of his relatives wanted to speak to SD a year ago concerning her behavior and that they didn't want her trying to come between us. I asked them not to at the time because she was going through a divorce. Things may change!