Skids are here for Spring Break
There has been countless comments from SD5 and SD6 like:
"Mommy said don't let you take my earrings out"
"Mommy said not to let you cut my hair"
"Mommy said not to let you let me wear my shoes outside to play"
First of all .. we don't ever take out their earrings. They only wear little cheap studs and they rarely get tangled in their hair. When SD5 (and it's ALWAYS SD5) loses earrings, it's because she plays with them and they fall out.
We've had the skids' haircut ONE time in over 2 years. It was long, out of control, and DH had full custody of the skids over the summer. They wouldn't even see BM for another 2 months .. so DH took them to get a TRIM (less than 2 inches each). We talked about cutting more, but ended up not doing it.
And not to mention, BM did not pack any of their asthma medicines (again) or any of the schoolwork that was sent home with them for Spring Break. DH specifically contacted their teachers and asked for any make-up work (they missed school Friday) as well as any practice exercises they could work on over the break. Both teachers sent work home on Thursday with the skids. BM was copied on all of those emails.
She's just so petty .. and I just wish I was better at tuning it out!
Although the contempt charges are unrelated to these issues, I really can't wait for her to get served the paperwork. DH should be going to the lawyer's office tomorrow to sign the papers.
I have not been on in a
I have not been on in a while, are you all finally filing for the custody mod?
Unfortunately, it doesn't
Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we will be afterall
BM has received "unofficial" orders back to Maryland .. she is trying to stay in TX until May 24; at which time she could disenroll the skids from school 2 weeks early without them being penalized (they'd still get full credit for the school year). This would prevent switching schools so late in the year.
Even though the agreement says we get the skids for the rest of the school year if she gets orders to MD, she would fight it .. and she would likely win. No one (including DH and I) want to disrupt the skids unecessarily. Even if it does suck for us for a few more months, it really is what's best for the girls.
Our custody schedule will essentially remain the same .. she'll move back here, we'll have every weekend, spring and summer breaks, and our 4 holiday weekends per year. That arrangement isn't actually bad for us .. we get all the "fun" times without the daily routine of school, homework, etc. And we end up with a 45/55 custody split.
We are, however, still filing the motion to show cause for all of her violations (4 of them so far). While it won't affect the custody situation at all, it will hopefully make her realize that following the custody order is not an option she can pick and choose to follow when it's convenient for her. Plus, she'll have to make up the missed days to DH AND pay his lawyer fees for the whole ordeal. }:)
In a few months, after the custody schedule has been re-established, DH will file for a modification of child support. BM is earning a lot more now than she was 2 years ago, and DH will have a lot more custody time established by then. She already makes way more than he does, so we'll stop handing over the excess.
Don't get too comfortable
Don't get too comfortable thinking your husband is sure to win his case. Judges really don't want to jail or fine people and its likely she'll just be told to knock it off and that may not be enough. Worse yet his attorney may screw up and the whole thing will be thrown out.
On the plus side it may show her that it is possible to be hauled into court over violations and that alone may set her straight. And maybe the judge will throw the book at her. Best of luck, assume the worst and pray for the best.
I don't assume we'll actually
I don't assume we'll actually WIN anything. I'm mostly happy her orders will be local and DH will be back to 50/50 custody and visitation with the skids. We dodge a full fledged custody battle at the same time.
If DH continues to file motions for contempt on all of her violations, it will reflect poorly on her military career. She will stop with the power plays and antics soon enough, but DH HAS to stand his ground now for anything to change in the long run.