BM's attempt at ruining my birthday

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Well you know it’s been a rough night when the first thing you do when you get to work in the morning is come to StepTalk!

So DH has 50/50 custody with BM, we have her week on/week off and they switch on Thursdays. Well yesterday (Wednesday- the last day of the skid-free week) was my birthday and somehow BM found out about it and called DH asking if he can take SD a day early. DH did tell her no, but I was just FURIOUS that I couldn’t just have 1 freaking day that was just about me and not my husband’s trashy ex-girlfriend and the skid.

When DH said no he can’t take skid because it’s my birthday and we have plans, she flipped out on him saying he’s only worried about me and he never does anything with skid (mind you, we are CONSTANTLY doing stuff with skid- we have been to the zoo, the aquarium, the circus- all MULTIPLE times- plus a bunch of carnivals, shows, I mean TONS of stuff). And why WOULDN'T he only be worried about me when I am his WIFE and it’s MY BIRTHDAY? Then she said DH is lucky he doesn’t have to pay child support- um, why would he have to pay child support when he has skid more than she does?? Then she made a comment about me being his little princess, said she will see him in court and hung up on him.

This girl NEVER stops with the drama. DH and I have been together over 3 years and it has not stopped. It’s CONSTANT. I seriously don’t understand what her issue- DH said she’s jealous but my God- she was not even married to DH, and since having SD (who is 5), she’s had 2 other kids by 2 other men. You would think she’d be too busy to worry about what we are doing. Is she seriously never going to leave us alone??

He should have ended the

He should have ended the conversation with "No, I have plans." No further discussion was needed.

You do not need to justify anything to BM nor does he have to have conversations with her about his parenting. She does not get a vote in his life. period. dot.

^^THIS!!!^^ EXACTLY Oldone.

^^THIS!!!^^ EXACTLY Oldone. There is no justification, explanation, argumentation, nothing, it is not her business.

DH is pretty good about

DH is pretty good about keeping the conversations with her short and to the point. I'm just mad that she has to constantly be interfering in our lives. Yesterday was NOT his day to get SD and BM somehow knew it was my birthday and just HAD to involve herself. I can't stand it!!

Echo, I like that! "That's

Echo, I like that! "That's fine" Haha!

^^Great strategy! My DH was

^^Great strategy! My DH was the same, would listen to BM rant, rave, make demands...finally I said "how is it that you're divorced from this woman, yet she still bullies you and bosses you around? What right does she have to do that and what obligation do you have to her?" LIGHTBULB.

After that, he said "send me an email, I refuse to talk to you on the phone when all you do is yell anyway" and he'd hang up. A few times of that, she stopped.

i want to wring fdh's neck

i want to wring fdh's neck when sd asks questions that are none of her damn business and take huge balls or massive lack of boundaries to even ask, and he fucking answers her! in great detail! like when i was pregnant the first time after bs, and she was pissed off and lecturing and bitching at him about it, he went so far as to tell her we didn't plan it, it wasn't on purpose, bla bla bla, as if he was trying to get out of trouble with her! i let him have it after that. and that's not the only time he's done that. i've already told him how very displeased i will be if he goes into depth about why we are hiding this pregnancy when she finds out.

She may be more insecure than

She may be more insecure than jealous. She sees you as taking time away from SD (and therefore less control of DH for HER as well!). If she is like our BM, she probably is upset as hell that he married YOU and not HER and may be insecure in her own role as a mother as well.

I also think that there are a lot of Disney Dads amongst divorced dads because they are EXPECTED to do all sort of "fun" things when they have their kid(s) whereas the BMs just live their lives like normal people do. I know OUR BM brainwashed our skids into thinking that if we weren't doing something "special" every single time they were COed to come down, then their dad was being "lazy" or didn't care about whether they were there or not.

misSTEP, you hit the nail on

misSTEP, you hit the nail on the head with the Disney Dad comment. I don’t know why my DH is expected to act like it’s some kind of damn vacation every time SD comes over, especially since she comes over EVERY OTHER WEEK! Why can’t we just have normal lives?

And yes, I’m sure BM has to be feeling insecure, I mean she has gotten pregnant by 3 different men and none of them wanted to marry her LOL!

Skids mom did this to me once

Skids mom did this to me once too. They did week to week at that point, and since she knew my bday fell on our off week, she called and told DH that she was not going to be able to get skid for her week because she was having some issues and then told him that skid had been complaining to her that he missed his daddy when he was with her so she thought a little extra time would benefit him. BULLSHIT. DH, of course, said of course, and his explanation to me was that if she is going to give him extra time he is going to take it no matter what because his son wants him not her. All she did was play into his guilt/Disneyland Dad crap. It did not matter that we had made plans for my bday, they got shot to shit and skid was here.

fedup13, why are these women

fedup13, why are these women so obsessed with us?? I mean damn, all I want is a normal life! I want to be able to go out on my birthday with my husband without interference from another woman! Is that really too much to ask?? I guess I should be glad he at least told her no. She has pulled this same crap in the past and he told her yes he will take SD and I flipped out on him so I guess he learned his lesson.

I don't know. The only thing

I don't know. The only thing I can figure with skid mark's BM is that she is just so miserable in her own skin, in her own life, she is not happy, therefore she does not want anyone else to be happy either. I am glad he told her no. And no, it is not to much to ask to have at least your damned bday designated as skid freaking free.