Ready for her to get out...vent
Long story short.....BM has diagnosed mental disorders, lost custody of 2 of 3 kids including my 17 year old SD due to overdoses, 5+ suicide attempts. SD says she can't stand living with us but won't give us any reason why. We know it is because BM acts as SD's "friend". Yesterday hubby and I returned from grocery shopping to SD's packed bags lined up on the floor. SD claimed she was going to live with her mom. Hubby told her "no", called BM told her "no" and then had a face to face meeting with SD and BM and told them both in front of one of another "no". Thought that the issue was settled. A few hours later, in the middle of our family watching a movie, SD literally bolted through our living room, out our front door, to her bf's car waiting at the curb. We called the police and reported her as a runaway. Cops found SD hiding out at BM's house. I don't want her here anymore. I'm so fed up with her that I literally want to drive her to BM myself. I have been disengaging with her over the past few months, so I have no attachment anymore. Problem is I have a hard time not showing my frustration. I don't want continuous bickering with hubby over an ungrateful, manipulating, immature, SD. I don't know what to do.
BM in our situation has
BM in our situation has mental issues. She manages to keep a job and seems sort of normal but she has severe depression at the very least. Her dad was an alcoholic so she does not drink at all or she would probably be one too. I do give her credit for that.
SS is a pathetic loser with many, many issues of which alcohol is only one. He's so immature even at 27. Thank goodness SS was an adult when I met DH or I don't think I could have stuck around.
Exactly. The issue is my
Exactly. The issue is my hubby doesn't want to be seen by SD as the parent that gave up on her. I told him he doesn't have to...she can look at me as that, because I have
I think my irriatation comes from my working in Family Law. I know what can and can't happen by law. It's just a matter of figuring out a happy medium. We don't want her or us to be miserable, which we all are. And when you are dealing with a BM that won't even speak to dad, it makes it nearly impossible to come to some sort of agreement.
Why not all three? The girl
Why not all three?
The girl is old enough that effectively nobody can stop her from doing what she wants to do. I've given exactly that advise to 16 and 17 yo kids to do exactly what she did. Walk out. What are they going to do? Shoot you?
Jump out of the car at the first stop sign if someones takes you away. Why did I give that advise? Because they found their current situation so intolerable they were willing to ruin their life to get out of it.
Ask Daddy to read this. Daddy she's a big girl now. She'll do what she wants in the end and you're banging your head against a wall. It's time she took control of her life - it's not only time she's doing it. She's doing it.
Be glad she's not shacking up with her boyfriend. Second once she realizes you've given up she's likely want to come back. Life over there isn't all its cracked up to be after all.
The third is her child with
The third is her child with her current husband. So she still has her. Otherwise she would have been taken away as well.
Is she still gone?
Is she still gone?
She left again yesterday.
She left again yesterday. Came home from school with goofball bf, ransacked her room, took clothes, makeup, etc. and went to BM before hubby or I got home from work. She can stay
I'd pack the rest of her crap
I'd pack the rest of her crap and drop it off at BMs! When she asks to come back, say no, she made the choice and she can't play you against each other. Then clean her room, and turn it into your craft room, naked room or work out room!! lol
My SD18 just did the same thing, except she moved in with her friend and her friend's mom (who is an alcoholic) -- and no rules! We've heard from her twice --one time to fill out her FAFSA form and the other time she wanted money! yah, unbelievable.
I'm glad she is gone --good riddance. I know that her Mom (who is restrained from having any contact with her) probably told her that if she moved out that she would pay the child support directly to her, or something like that. Keep in mind, the last check we got was $120 and in Sept '12!! Good luck with that!
Haha, well she ran away a
Haha, well she ran away a second time 3 days later and this time called my DH to let him know where she was so that we couldn't call her in as a runaway. Of course she did all this while DH and myself were both at work. She and her degenerate boyfriend packed about 90% of her stuff up and took it. Trashed her room in the process. That night I packed ALL of her remaining crap up. The next day I bought a new comforter set and and new headboard and totally re-did her room. It is our spare bedroom/exercise room now. She has been gone now for over a month and has called my DH 1 time and that was to ask for her social security card. She texted him on Easter and said nothing other than she wanted to find out when would be a good time for her to come by and pick up what she left behind. I felt like telling my husband to tell her that we donated it all to Goodwill. Figured she didn't want it because she left it. SO GLAD SHE IS GONE!!!!