i've been feeling awful, even a little suicidal at times for about a year and a half. i struggle bec. i have christian beliefs and have tried to weigh my situation with my SD17 treating me so shitty with how i know christians should deal with times of trouble. i want to find peace in my life, but at the same time, i am only human and this little puke has driven me bat shit crazy to the point that i don't know how to deal with myself or how to be civil towards her. long story short, SD17 is an asshole. her own mother packed her bedroom up into boxes 2 years ago. i recently packed princess' stuff up into boxes in her bedroom over here. she pissed off her paternal grandma to the point that her room in their house is now only for storage. i'm pissed at my DH for all the time he has allowed SD to be a bitch to me. and after reading some of the recent posts on here, i have come to learn and believe that her behavior is no different than that of a bully.

last straw was this past cmas when she snubbed me and gave all family members presents except me.

OK.....so here's the victory part of it. DH has come to the realization that I don't deserve to be treated like this. he said he is really sorry to have let this happen to the woman he loves and cherishes. AND, he has now started making changes bec. he now sees how much damage SD17 has done to OUR home and OUR family.

the first paragraph i wrote was how i had been feeling.....but now i feel i have been able to SUCCESSFULLY disengage and not feel guilty about it. saying "hi" and "bye" to princess is now ok with me. i no longer feel i have to eat with DH & princess when dinner is served here. i have taken my power back to not let her bully me any longer. and looking back thru some bible verses i found, i can go to sleep with a clear conscience bec. before when i did care about her feelings, i made efforts to try to make amends with her and kill her with kindness. i have apologized to her when i think i've done something wrong. she has refused to accept my apology or try to make an effort with me....SO, according to what i've read, it is perfectly ok for me to go on with my life with no guilt bec. i've done all i can.

sorry this post is so long, but the last week has been so cathartic and healing. and i owe a lot of my healing to finding you SM's on this site!

so thank you all