I am so exhausted & ready to quit ! My wife has been doing this forever. I have three stepdaughters & a stepson. Correction I have 1 stepdaughter , two daughters & two sons. I adopted three of my step children & one step daughter that did not want to be adopted. I also am the legal guardian of a 17 year boy for 10 years & been married for 15 years. My step kids at the time were age ranges 2-10 at the time. The boy being two & oldest daughter being 10. The girls grew up some with the bio so was a bit of resentment from the beginning. I'm really the only father my son has known. I never wanted the role of discipline & tried my best not to be that person. But shorty after marriage , I quickly picked up on my wife s not wanting or really have a judgement on what was the difference in totally being blinded for any misgivings or severe wrongs done by any of the kids. My only things I tried to do was maintain a little respect & require simple things . Like school and not doing drugs or drinking. The father is a total zero . Never had a job , never a bit of support . Visits were few & usually intoxicated when he did. Talking about a guy would try and burrow money from his kids & maybe give an IOU for a birthday or Christmas . So not any help. Never said any of these things two the kids or put him down to kids. But just tried to be supportive and say I love you & stand by them when they need it. The events started early and often , trickled down from girl to girl & has never changed. Two of the three refuse to put effort in two school or homework , every responsible given to them was destroyed . Ect. Examples would be 4 & 5 hundred dollar cell phone bills skipping school , running away. Dropping out school . Every attempt at speaking to my wife has gone on deaf ears and cause huge relationship problems. Her reasoning would be . Hey I was a c or d student & you made plenty of mistakes as a teenager. Boyfriends were the worst possible choices . Criminal records , dropouts . Every physically abusive. Third daughter was very over weight and had social problems. Made up pregnancy stories to friends & school admin. Now the boy . Until 9 th grade was a pretty average kid. Loved me & excelled in school & sports . Around 9th grade , started spending more time with sisters and cuz's and began experimenting with weed. I noticed it right away & tried to bring it to wife's attention , mostly got he denies it & I need to trust him. The smoking got worse. But thankful remained engaged in sports. Now is a senior and has few college offers to take up except ..... Got himself in major legal trouble & dealing with it , hopefully ! He has been smoking for the last four years & my wife would never accept it till its too late . I was the bad guy then for not trusting & being mean. The daughters syndrome has never stopped. Vicious circle. The move home every 5 to six months till they find another loser to move to the city with until they lose everything they have & get dumped & move back home. Then stay home long enough to have them get them a new car & the next loser comes along. My wife's only answer to this is that are making mistakes & should allow them to just keep using us till the next ride. I'm so done , I just can never get my wife to see that that have to learn from mistakes sometimes & pull them selfs up. Literally is going on 4 & 6 times of moving back home. Oldest is 24 now lives with a drug dealer who hits her. Next one just spents 5 months at home went to one semester of college & started to go to second till boyfriend got arrested. Now she's tells taking back to city. Pawned everything she has & is living with boyfriend and few others. Tried to tell wife to tell her. If she allows her to do this , I want her to know she can't come back home win the blows up in 6 months & she has lost everything again. Reply was " I can't believe you" so mean & judgmental. You act line you never make a mistake. No wonder you don't have a good relationship with her. She's 23 & this is 4th time. Am I insane ?? I'm starting to feel like I'm , because I am being made to feel it. The relationship now is terrible with wife. And I just don't know what to do anymore ! Whew !!! First time I've spilled my guts about this & I'm desperately looking for someone to tell me I'm not crazy & some advice