You are here

christmas gifts...omg

dalhia's picture

im quite upset because i just drove my SD13 to the store to get gifts to people (her list was : her mom, her half brother -that lives with BM-, her dad, her stepbrother -my son-, me, and her best friend)
i have her a $$ limit and i met her later.
guess who had gifts and who didnt??
she spent all the gift allowance on mom and half brother. that's it!
nothing for me, dad, step brother or best friend.
when i told her : " you knok that this meand that nobody gets anything from you except from youe mom and your brother"?

she said " im ok with that"
OMG: im so hurt. i do everything for this child. her BM is a mess and does nothing. no chuild support, no gift,...NOTHING.
i know i have to get over this, but it hurts

funny...that right now my hubby and i are drafting a will and i thoguht that i should leave 50% for my BS 11 and 50% for my SD 13....
im not sure how to act.
im so hurt but at the same time i need ot b an dult about it, right
fuck this!

ri

my.kids.mom's picture

I don't know how you people hold it together through this shit. I don't know what I'd do, but that little bitch would never get anything from me again. Hell, my exbf's kids didn't do shit for his bday even though I offered to make a cake for them to surprise him and I'm *still* pissed at them and that was weeks ago! LOL

TorturedGuy's picture

Yeah the SS17 is still acting pretty douchey today...one would think he would mature at some point. I'm just going by how mature I was by that age...and heck some other kids I see even nowadays.

smdh's picture

I would have asked her if she was "alright with only GETTING presents from her mom and her half brother" and let her selfish has stew on that.

Then again my SD has never thought to do anything nice for anyone. She is only 8 but my niece is also 8 and she tries to make things for people. SD just assumes holidays are for her to get. Never occurs to her to give at all.

jumanji's picture

She's a bio major. In her anatomy class, they were dissecting pigs to study reproductive systems, and her female had two piglets. They were allowed to keep them, so she kept one, and is giving the other with me.

A little odd? Sure. BUT... She's sharing something she's excited about. I'll take it.

jumanji's picture

I guess my point was, sometimes, gifts don't translate well. Most everyone I have told about this? Reacts with the "Eeeew, GROSS!" I could certainly see her stepmom having that reaction. When, in reality, it would be the ultimate sharing of her life and passion.

Yes, it's an extreme example. And a lot of what you all have described as gifts from your skids really have very little other explanation. But maybe one of you has that quirky kid. And if you do? Take the gift in the spirit it is given in.

Sometimes, gross = I love you.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

I can understand your pain! I've learned to not take offense when my SD omits me, though I've done more for her than her BM, especially when she seems to care about her step-dad more than me!

As for the will, like someone said...it is her mom and dad's responsibility to provide for her, it is their responsibility to leave a portion to their estate to her. You are responsible only to your spouse and your bio-kids! Mine is set up that my stuff is split between my husband and my two bio-kids...my step-daughter is not included. Sure, my husband's split between the 3 kids, but he adopted my kids...making them legally his...so that is his responsibility as their BF is legally out of the picture. My husband and I already got into a fight about this, and that is specifically what I told him! I was a child in a mixed family...my mom's will left to my step-father and me, my step-father's left to my mom and my step-brother.

december82's picture

That's pretty crappy of ur skid, I'd hold back her xmas presents from everyone she didn't buy for and when she's is all upset explain to her that its not ok to sacrifice certain family members to impress other family, i can't say that id be able to not give her anything but i would definitely scare the heck out of her by not having anything for her to open while everyone else is ripping there's open, maybe a few hours later leave her gifts unwrapped in her room so she doesn't get any extra attention either.

As far as the will, i don't have any bio kids but i do have a step parent as well, DH and I have everything left to the eachother, if he goes its my responsibility to give his kids their portion, there's no set amount and its completely up to me if they get anything, which drives my MIL insane, but i could never rip off my skids i can however put it in trust until i feel they are responsible enough to take it. My mother has hers set up the same way her DH gets any money and material good except for a few items specified in the will i.e. My late grandmothers jewelry and things of that nature. My DH and apparently my mother are both of the opinion that everything is left to their spouse. My dad had it set up that his wife got half and the other half was split between his 2 daughters... I can tell you that it has been very difficult for the 3 of us to agree on any decisions that need to be made and has caused ALOT of drama having it set up this way!

4stepping's picture

In 7 years I have not received one gift from any of the 4 while I continue to go out and shop for them and my so. This year I just sent something small. Next maybe nothing.

oldone's picture

I don't think that a person has a responsibility to leave any money to bio or step kids. They can leave it to a charity if they so choose. No one else has a right to that money. (unless your state has laws that require it)