I just don't understand...
Hi everyone
I have posted a thread before about the situation - http://www.steptalk.org/node/87847
so after all the hell we've been dealing with BM and now SD has officially not been in our house for 3 months and my husband is just seeing her for a few hours on his time BM is trying to be all nice in his face and making friends because Im not there. Before when everything was fine and SD had a school function my husband and I would go and sit far away from BM, we were really really distant. No communication, nothing.
Now that Im not in SD's life BM is trying to be friendly with my husband and this makes me sick. After all the hell we've been thru with her. She knows that my husband is a good guy, too good actually and starting to him manipulate again. And pretty mad because Im not there to keep us at a distance and now he's just being nice because thats how he is. He went to SD's gymnastics class and when he came back home he told me that BM was there sitting next to him chatting. My jaw dropped down to the ground. If I was on my husbands place I would get up and go, or move sit away from her. He's quickly forgetting all the problems she caused us. Last month she filled SD's head with so much crap about him and he said that he wishes BM would just vanish and now talking with her like new friends? :O I just don't understand...
I told him that it bothers me for him to talk to her in person. I just don't understand how can you even say hi to someone that litarary tried to take every penny out of you, throw your wife and your kids out on the street (we almost lost our house because of her attorney's fees we were ordered to pay), she had his mom wrapped around her finger for 4 years where his mother turned against him....all that drama and headaches and for him to say hi to her and chat with her. :jawdrop: :O
So we talked and after I reminded him for some of the nasty situations we were in because of her he said ok when I see her at a school function or gymnastics class or something Ill just go to the other side of the room.
On the other side I have been really at peace now that SD is not coming over anymore and not brining her mothers venim around. He's going to keep doing this for a very long time as it's better for everyone.
Happy Holidays Everyone
I disagree with
I disagree with funblendfam...
When you go through all the some step moms go through because of a crazy BM and then act like everything is okay, you are sending a message to the children that the behaviors are okay. It also sends the message to the BM that anything goes. GEtting up and walking to another spot is the only thing to do in our house. Today the BM accused me of molesting my SS6. If my husband sat next to her and chatted her up at a function I'd never get over it. There are some things that one just cannot accept. Our SS6 is being abused by her nonstop so when he sees that we avoid her it gives him the idea that maybe in the future he can too. The state is involved with her regarding abuse, so it's not just my opinion, its documented. But taking a kid away from his BM is tough.
I agree with ^^this^^
I agree with ^^this^^
NJStepmom this is exactly how
NJStepmom this is exactly how I feel about our situation.
So BM was attacking us so much for so long in front of my SD, she hated us and didnt want to even hear about us and then for my husband to sit there and chit chat like nothing has happened. I think thats a very wrong message being sent to my SD. You can be a monster to someone and the next day your forgiven and life goes on like you didnt do anything. No way!!!
Funblendfam in our case my stepdaughter has never seen her parents together so she can care less if theyre getting along or sitting next to eachother. She has seen more fights between them (her mom badmouthing us) than anything. She has even told us that she knows we hate her mom. We're far away from that