Birthdays were not a big deal when I was growing up... although it was for DH. I can't remember what my parents birthdays are, I only know their months. The other parent, (my mom for my dad and my dad for my mom) will call and let us know and we'll call or get a card.

I still don't care much for birthdays and I routinely forget even my own, but DH likes to make a big deal out of it and he will be upset if people forget his. I guess it depends on how you were raised.

bd17 doesn't so much as buy a 49 cent card for my birthday. she's very inconsiderate of things like that. at least with me. she sure isn't like that with her gramma or her friends. just me. she takes me for granted all the time. everyone else gets all the credit and kudos from her, while the one who worked her fingers to the bone raising her alone gets nothing. she told me a couple years ago that mother's day wasn't important to her. wow. what a slap in the face. i asked her how she would like it if i said her bday wasn't important to me, cuz that's about the same thing. we had a quite a long talk (well, i talked and she sat there) and she ended up in tears. i don't care. she was 15. plenty old enough to pull her head out of her ass and acknowledge someone else for a change. i do for her bday every year and i don't skimp. perhaps i have spoiled her. her nasty attitude really opened my eyes. it goes to show that no matter how you raise a kid, they will be who they are. she wasn't raised to be like that. i am very giving and considerate and always remember people's bdays, and i have a couple of aunts that i remember on mother's day, too. she has grown up seeing this. has rubbed off on her not a bit.

the best i can do is point out her behavior flaws and shitty attitude to her. i do not want her thinking the world revolves around her and no one else matters, like sd20 thinks is the case. no one told sd different. i may not be able to change bd's inconsiderate ways, but i can sure as hell bring her attention to them.

I think learning to acknowledge parents and siblings birthdays is a very important part of teaching children to think of others. I think it is so important for children to learn that mum and dad are people too. That they have days that are important to them. I think it is all part and parcel of learning other people have feelings too. Receiving a gift is unimportant to me. But I'd be well and truly ticked if I didn't receive a phone call.

Well, we don't make a big to do about adult birthdays around here, so it's not a big deal if the kids don't each make me some macaroni monstrosity. We have a nice dinner and I bake a cake. No big deal. I don't make a federal holiday out of child birthdays either. I bake or buy a cake, they might have a few friends for a sleep over, and I get a few gifts, or for the older kids, cash in a card. We don't rent out the local skating rink, invite 200 guests, have it catered by Emeril, and spend a Saturday letting the kids register at Macy's.

They're kids. I'm satisfied if they remember to brush their teeth and wipe their own asses.

I just text my skids the day b4 and remind them they need to call their father cause his bday is the next day. If they happen to be at our house on his bday i take them out to pick up cards and last year i picked up all the stuff needed to make DHs fav cake, his daughter did all the work and it was just somethin simple but SD could see the happiness that silly little cake brought her dad. Later DH told me that he had always wanted one of his kids to make him a bday cake but since he separated from their mom when they we 6 & 7 he didn't think it would ever happen. SD learned that little things mean alot... DH had an old wish fulfilled and I scored brownie points with them both for coordinating it all!

My Skids are real gems about birthdays! They are 25 and 26 and just will not acknowledge their father's birthday, even after he's had a heartfelt conversation with them about how it hurts his feelings when he gets nothing more than a text for his birthday, father's day, and Christmas, but they remind him of their birthdays two weeks in advance and provide a list of what they need! :jawdrop: He always made birthdays a big deal when they were growing up and apparently they still expect for him to do that for him. A few years after we married, I suggested to him that maybe if he stopped bending over backward for theirs, they would get the message. Now they commiserate behind his back about how he doesn't do anything for their special occasions, so why should they do anything for his. Hello?!?!? You're the one who never acknowledged HIM your entire life. I don't get it.

My steps were really bad about not wishing me a happy birthday and it used to really hurt but with time I knew that they were not going to even acknowledge the day and prepared myself. My oldest bio child will send me a card but normally it is late, she doesn't call which does hurt. If I didn't call her on her birthday she would be steaming. My counselor suggested that I mention to her that I would like to hear from her on my birthday but I could see that creating WWlll so I never said anything. I celebrate now with those who want to celebrate with me and enjoy my birthday with those who want to be a part of my life. I no longer expect anything from my kids. Maybe one day it will be important to them but who knows?