Feel Beaten Down by SD
I want to love my SD, but just can’t seem to get there. She’s loud, obnoxious and often rude, but she is still just a kid of ten years. I keep reminding myself that she is only ten, she is only ten, but I just can’t take her anymore. She is very bossy, pushy, exaggerates and manipulates things, people and situations to have things her way.
I have two bio kids, both girls ages 8 and 10 and have two step kids, boy 11 and girl 10. The boy is very good…we connect with sports and video games but the connection just isn’t there with the SD…and I’m beginning to feel that I may not want it to be there…is this my fault?
I want to be an awesome SD, but I need some respect and appreciation in return. The SD doesn’t always treat her own mother very well and that bothers me…a lot! Again, maybe I am just blowing this out of proportion, but when you are at our home I want people to be respectful towards everyone in the entire home…me included. What SD does and how she acts while at her Dad’s home I can’t control, but that will not be tolerated in our home and that seems to be a real issue.
SD’s Mom (her bio Mom) sees only what SD tells her so I feel very caught in the middle – this is starting to make me really resent the SD. It’s also starting to have damaging effects on the marriage and our relationship.
I have read some of the posts that say I married you and not your kids…that’s fine and all but the kids come along with the relationship…just feel very beaten down.
Yes, they come along with the
Yes, they come along with the relationship BUT they are still NOT YOUR KIDS! They are the responsibility of the two people who brought them into this world, not yours, unless of course you CHOOSE to want to take on that responisibility. But you are in a positon where you have a choice and nothing is nor SHOULD be expected of you in regards to these children.
What you feel is normal and it is completely ok/acceptable for you to want and expect respect in your own home and for everyone in your home as well!
I think in your case, you need to disengage from SD and by doing this it will allow your wife to take on everything associated with SD. And by her doing so she will see FIRST HAND what a rotten brat this kid is and thus her eyes will be opened to what you have been saying and trying to show her all along. This relieves you of being the "bad guy tattle tale" in Mom's eyes because she can now see for herself.
And ususally when parents actually have to parent their children all by themselves it makes/allows them to really see their kids for what and who they TRULY are.
Hope this helps!!! I wish you the best!!!
YOu like who you like. If sd
YOu like who you like. If sd is not your kinda person, then she's not your kind of person. I know my ss14 is not my kind of person-even putting aside all the heinous things he's done-his personality is just not a good match with mine because like your sd he is very obnoxious, abrasive, loud. Myself, I tend to be pretty quiet. I like to read. My kids all like to read and can entertain themselves for hours on end. SS needs constant attention, reinforcement, someone to entertain him. I just cant handle that.
Thanks for the reply...its
Thanks for the reply...its just hard to disengage from the kids...I want to be a good step dad...just don't know if that is possible.
I know exactly how you
I know exactly how you feel...I have a SD12 that is probably the most annoying person I have ever been around. No matter how hard I have tried, I can't make myself feel anything more than tolerance which is very hard at times. It isn't your fault. You can't help that you don't like certain behavior and personalities. I tried to have a relationship with her and she is so wrapped up in herself that she has no need for anything from me...I don't exist to her unless she needs money or a ride. Do let it get you down, you can't help what you feel.