SKID Making Her Annual Christmas Demand Phonecall
Ho Ho Ho! Here we go. Last night SD41 called DH to tell him what she wanted for Christmas. And what her new husband wants. And that they want a week at our timeshare so they can honeymoon, so we need to handle that for them. I sat there and listened to DH. His voice was sad and hesitant when he spoke to her, I could tell right away it was her. She must have told him when they'd be by to pick up their loot on Christmas morning because he said "No, we will open presents earlier, around 7:00 am". When he hung up, I didn't say a word. After awhile, he said SD41 wants a new butcher block knife set for Christmas. And money. New SIL wants money. And they thought it would be nice for us to arrange a week at our timeshare for them. I said "did she ask you what you want for Christmas?" He said no, she didn't. That's all I said about it. I didn't ask him if she asked what the rest of us would want either, I already know-she never gives, she only takes.
But Oops, I disengaged last year around this time, so I won't be shopping for knife sets. If he wants to give money, thats his business. I also won't be setting up any timeshare reservations either. I don't think DH knows how to make a reservation, I guess he'll have to learn. Also, we aren't waiting around for them (they love to make us wait), if they show up on Thanksgiving or Christmas and hope to eat, they'd better bring food. And pick up after themselves. I didn't mention that last night, but I should have gone ahead and let him know what I expect from now on. I'll do it soon. And I'll use my best calm voice.
BTW, we have't heard from these dirtbags in many months. Since she invited DH (not the rest of us) to their wedding in Vegas. And wanted him to pay for it. They didn't acknowledge his birthday, her half-brother/sister's birthdays, my birthday, Fathers/Mother's Day. DH did acknowledge her birthday, like always.
I don't have the words to express the extent of my revulsion and contempt for these people. I truly despise SD41 and her wimpy husband.
This is going to be a test of my disengagement skills. Wish me luck!
Boy! What a piece of work!
Boy! What a piece of work! This would REALLY be a test! But you seem to be headed in the right direction. Don't do a damned thing for them. I agree maybe tell DH you don't expect anything from them (since they don't know that Christmas is the Season of giving), therefore you feel no obligation to them. Then let him handle it. Please give an update on this.
Strange how many skids think Santa lives forever for them - just present a list. This is how SD was - before disengagement. We would send lots of money like she wanted then get nothing, or a piece of crap. Now if DH wants to send something it's on him and his money.
Of course she expects to be
Of course she expects to be showered with presents, she still thinks she's a princess! She acts like she is doing us a great honor by glancing our way. It is funny in a really pathetic kind of way. I think it is because we used to chase her around trying to get her to be part of our family when she was young. We did everything we could think of to include her and let her know we wanted her and we cared about her. She loved for us to do that and she snubbed us every time. We stopped doing that when she was about 18 years old and out of High School. She is 41 now and apparently still thinks we want to chase her because she is such a valuable prize. :sick:
SD41 didn't show or call on Thanksgiving, she's not interested in anything but grabbing her loot on Christmas and leaving as fast as she can. Since it is so hard for her to be pleasant and she doesn't give gifts, I often suggested to DH that he put her gifts in a plastic garbage bag and leave it at the top of the driveway, then all she'd need to do would be to swoop by, stick her arm out of the car window, grab the bag and keep going. She'd barely have to slow down and wouldn't have to get out of her car! I know I'd appreciate it if she didn't come in. It is really awkward when she is in our house-there's a palpable hostile vibe coming from her. Invisible toxic fumes coming from her ugly soul.....
I haven't done anything for Christmas with regards to SD41, DH bought her an expensive cutlery set. He told me and I didn't say a word. I just don't care.
However, I still need to tell DH that if she shows up Christmas and hopes to eat, she needs to bring a dish to share, she needs to be helpful and be pleasant-or she and her husband won't be eating with us.
Oh, she'd like to take care
Oh, she'd like to take care of all of us all right. But it wouldn't be with loving care...
I think if she does cough up a gift, I'll do just like she does. Open it, hold it up and look closely at it, then smirk and lay it down like I think it is crap.
I thought of buying DH & myself a really nice gift and mark it from her, just to see the look on her face!
He's buying his new SIL stuff
He's buying his new SIL stuff too. I don't even know this guy's last name, but God forbid we don't give him stuff too or make him feel left out. I doubt they will go out of their way to get us anything, maybe DH will get 3 homemade cookies again this year. I'm not holding my breath, unless SD41 has some crappy re-gift item laying around that she wants to get rid of.
I wouldn't want them to try to care for us when we are older. SD41 has proved time again that she is all about herself and can't be trusted with the simplest things. And she's passive agressive hostile, has been all her life.
If DH passes before I do, I will not inform her. We all live in the same town, so she'd probably find out from someone else and save me the aggravation of a phony grief scene. Or, since she won't call DH more than a few times a year to speak to him, I'd just wait until her next gift-grubbing phone call and let her know the money tree dried up then.
I won't let her have anything but my silence.
SD41 has no siblings except for my/DH's bios (her half-brother/sister). BM is dead, her husband re-married. Her step-siblings aren't technically related anymore now that BM is dead and they weren't very close. No kids of her own and no plans for any. All she has now is her new husband and any family he may have. She can go hang out with them. I can just imagine what kind of lies she's told them about us. They must think it is odd that she snubs us all the time, except for gift grubbing time.
THIS sounds like my sd40! No
THIS sounds like my sd40! No fathers day or b-day cards for 15 years for her father...done to hurt him ON PURPOSE as SHE WAS HURT HE MARRIED me and we have 2 kids! She calls our kids her COUSINS!, is furious we have thrown $$$ at her very mentally ill sister sd36, no return calls or thank yous for grand kids presents etc.... 18 years of STEP SHIT! and now that she lives 6 hours by car wants to bring her family of 6 OFTEN to our 2000 sq. ft. home and sleep on our floor and get waited on whenever she wants because her dad, my DH, now has the opportunity to impact her kids lives...15, 14, 12 and 10...kinda late for that! She also has taken up with his siblings and tells her tales of woe that I do not want 6 people sleeping on our floor. His idiot siblings buy into this crap and treat him like shit making comments about how our kids grew up in a different financial situation and that he needs to balance his fist family with his second family! She had the nerve to tell him he owes her his complete loyalty like he gives our kids while she is actively arbing him against his own family and throwing him under the bus! SCORPIO STEP SHIT LOOSER WHINER COMPLAINER INGRATE!
Because of the way SHE ORCHESTRATED this we do minimal financially and gift wise, her 40th bday my DH sent a 50cent card! LOL! So that is what you should do..NOTHING! Any thing involves DRAMA DRAMA so we give them like 2 weekends a year and we spend the month before and after bitching about it! OH! She, sd40, is too intelectually inferior to get that if she treats her DAD like shit he won't like her!!! DUH! Send that message, no calls picked up or returned, no emails returned, no texts. K is for Karma!