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Step son flunking school, mother does little to help

AdamF's picture

Submitted by AdamF on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 7:59pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

Step son 15 has a long history of acting out in a bad way. Typical name calling slamming doors and threatening to run away etc. He s also a failure at school, 1.0 grade point average with 6 f's.

My warnings to his other that he's in to deep with no way out is met with I am sick of your negativity remark and the talk ends on that note every time.

In the interest of my own sanity , I let her call the shots on her own kid.

He can be a real ass to deal with , but at this rate he's doomed to fail at graduating high school.

His mother does not like any of my ideas. I am just to hard on him.

So folks , stay out of it and worry about my happiness ?

Or do more and upset her and him further? In the long run she will just blame me I didn't do more lol.

Or blame me he failed due to being to hard on him.

AdamF's picture

Submitted by AdamF on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 8:15pm

Small agreement made. He's made what I consider a small effort to get it all caught up. She is to tell him she's glad he's working on it, gives him 1 to 2 weeks to get all posible to passing grades or he stands to loose and loose big on all he holds near.

Slap on the hand in my book but a small step non the less.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 8:39pm

Since your husband won't back you up you need to take a hands-off attitude towards the boy. At this age its better to let the world kick them. As my Dad said "I'm a graduate of the school of hard knocks". A high school drop-out he learned accounting and then went into construction becoming a licensed general contractor and new home construction inspector for the federal government.

Just because he fails high school does not mean he'll be a failure in life. Let him learn his own way.

Read this:

http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Fri, 11/30/2012 - 9:19pm

My kids have all struggled their freshman year.

I did NOT have any attitude issues or threats to run away, though.

I cracked down on them... all fun was taken away and there was nothing but studying to do until all classes had a B or better.

OP, if mom isn't going to enforce things, I'd suggest you back off. You'll only make yourself nuts.

CantKeepDoingThis's picture

Submitted by CantKeepDoingThis on Fri, 12/21/2012 - 10:42am

Without reading the other comments, here are my 2 cents.

I think it is about time to sit down and have a hard talk with your wife. Here is what you are facing now...this kids is NOT going to graduate high school if he doesn't get off of his butt. I'm not sure what the cut off age is where you live, but most states have an age limit where the kid is basically kicked out and told they have to seek another alternative to get a GED. This is natural, as I'm sure most parents wouldn't want some 21-year-old roaming the same halls as their 15-year-old daughters. I know I wouldn't!

Talk with your wife about expectations. Her son cannot live his life mooching off of you all...she may be okay with it, but you are definitely not! Research your options and set up an action plan. If your wife isn't accepting, you may have to make some tough decisions.