Ok, so let me start with a little background. My step son was four when my husband and I got together, and my son was 15 months old. It was a rough start but everything seemed to work for us. It was almost a year after being together that we bought a house and moved in together. My step son started pre school about six months later, and about the same time we started taking him 50% of the time. Everything seemed perfect for about three weeks. Then we started noticing that my step son was wetting his pants. He then started to act out by peeing in my sons toy box, on his bed, wadding up blankets and wetting on them. He became physically violent with his step brother who was two years old at the time. So we went back to the old schedule thinking that he was having a hard time with all of the changes. The behaviors continued, so we decided to take him to counseling.

During counseling we discovered that he was showing signs of a child that was being sexually abused. The counselor showed us pictures that he had drawn. At five years old he was drawing very detailed pictures of male and female gentiles. The male genitals were erect with pubic hair and the female gentiles had pubic hair. After talking with some of her colleges the counselor felt that she needed to report it to DHS.
When my husband told his parents about what was going on in counseling and that DHS was reported, my in laws became very unsupportive and told my husband that nothing was happening. My husband was very upset by their reaction and felt that he had no support from his family.

DHS decided that there was not enough evidence and decided not to do an investigation. Then after about three weeks my step son shut down in counseling. I was costing us almost $200 a month and the counselor felt that there was nothing else she could do at that time, so we stopped taking him. Everything seemed to be somewhat normal for almost a year. Then one day while my son who was three at the time and my step son who was six were playing, I heard my step son tell my son to pull down his pants. I walked into the room and told them that games like that were not ok to play and talked to them about keeping their private areas private. I told my husband what happened and we decided it would be better to go to the park where we could keep an eye on what they were doing. About 15 min into playing we heard my step son tell my son who was in the tunnel slide to pull down his pants and not to tell anyone. We went straight home and my step son was not allowed to play for the rest of the night.

My husband called his ex to tell her what happened, and she blew him off. She told him that it was normal kid stuff and hung up on him. My husband decided that with what the counselor told him and what had just happened, that it would be a good idea to call DHS. We thought that maybe now they would feel like they could do something. We were told that because my step son was not saying that he had been abused by anyone else, and that he was not old enough to get in trouble for touching other kids, that they couldn’t do anything.

We had a daughter together when my step son was almost six years old. During all of the stuff that was going on we didn’t have to worry about her because she wasn’t crawling or anything, so she was never out of our sight. After the park incident we decided that the boys would have to play in whatever room we were in so we could keep an eye on them. Everything seemed to be going fine until one day my step son who was now seven and my son who was now four in the face. My son started crying and would not tell us what had happened. After my step son left my son told me that my step son whispered that he wanted my son to take off the costume he was wearing so that he could touch his genitals. When my son told him that he was going to tell, my step son hit him. My husband confronted my step son about the incident but everything was denied.

About a week after that my husband was out in the front yard with all three kids. He turned around to grab the hose and when he turned back around he found my step son with his hands on my one and a half year olds crotch. My husband took my step son inside and confronted him. He confessed to touching my daughters genitals one other time when I was in the shower and my husband was supposed to be watching the kids. He also confessed to touching the half siblings at his mothers house who were two and one. My husband took my step son back to his moms and told her what was said and what happened. She said that she had asked her two year old if her brother has ever touched her and the little girl said no. She supposedly asked the little girl long before this happened at our house. She still denies that anything ever happened and that my step son was confused when he confessed to my husband.

My husband no longer brings my step son to our house and only spends time with him at the park or movies. This whole situation has put a huge strain on our marriage. I don’t know if I can ever forgive him for letting that happen to our daughter. We are now getting a lot of back lash from his family about how we are treating my step son. I’m sorry that this post seems to be all over the place. I’m trying to type with a toddler in my lap.