Calls Dad from his cellphone from bed
Ok. I have bed at odds with my live in bf about his 8 year old son bed time habits. 8 months ago he use to sleep in the bed with us, 5 months ago he had no bed time on school nights and dad sleeps in the bed with him. Let me also add we have him 50% of the time which meant my bf slept in the bed with him 50% of the time. Now let me get back on track. So the kid now gets in bed by 9:30 but wakes up EVERY night at least twice often like midnight and 4am. He knocks on the door and wakes me up out of my sleep and I have to be up at work by 5:30am and so does my bf. Finally, I became fed up and said if you don't get your son and BM in order (that's a separate issue) I am leaving. Next thing you know in the middle of the night two nights in a row, I hear my bf cell phone ringing in the middle of the night and guess who it is, the son calling the father from his bedroom. Does anybody else find this dysfunctional?
That's obnoxious. And your DH
That's obnoxious. And your DH needs to fix it. Does the kid need counseling or something?
Think I would shut the fone
Think I would shut the fone off if I were you. Should this still be an issue, then its your husband allowing things to continue. Why does the kid keep waking you both up every night anyways?
This is so wrong but also
This is so wrong but also kind of funny that he even thought to do that. Take the damn phone out of his room.
What did he say? "Hey, Dad, whatcha doin'?"
A. Why is this kid allowed to
A. Why is this kid allowed to take a cell phone to bed?
B. Why is your DH entertaining this kid's outlandish demands?
C. This is what happens when co-sleeping is allowed
D. What have you asked your DH to do about it?
I wish I were kidding you. I
I wish I were kidding you. I couldn't make up this stuff if I wanted to.
A. My bf claims because he
A. My bf claims because he was charging the phone in his room. Yet, nothing occurred to my bf that he should take the phone out after the fourth day of him calling. When I asked my bf about it today his response was it depends on what time he is calling and he thinks he has been doing a good job at staying in his own bed.
B. My bf doesn't think it's anything wrong with this kind of stuff obviously and the only reason why he makes changes is because I say stuff about it. I asked him what is his fatherly instinct on teaching his son how to grow up to be a man and he said he doesn't know but let me remind you that he is a Principal at an elementary school.
D. I told my bf that I am tired of being the bad guy as if I don't like his son. I told him my main concern is how he parents his son and how he is going to tackle different challenges as he gets older. I told him that I am tired of telling him what to do and if he has issues then he needs to take some parenting classes.
Wow, sounds like you have
Wow, sounds like you have your work cut out for you! I'm sorry!
Unfortunately, these are the
Unfortunately, these are the types of things I deal with on a daily basis. My bf asked if there is any hope for us to work this out and I told him that he needs to answer that question. He said he I'd trying. I guess by making his son sleep in his own bed and stay there he offered the boy the phone as security. It's totally beyond my comprehension because I don't seem to understand what this boy is afraid of. I thought if I put a tv in his room that he could wake up and occupy himself and then go back to sleep. Is it the co sleeping that caused this? I was so disturbed by it when my bf started doing this when I first moved in. I refused to accept it. Is there something mentally wrong with my bf that I have to tell him the most obvious things about parenting? Is there something wrong about the fact that he is the principal of an elementary school grade K-5 and he doesn't even know the basics of parenting? I keep struggling with this.
Take the kid's cell phone at
Take the kid's cell phone at night and leave it in your bedroom!!! I have a different "cell phone issue" but that's what I did. SD (she was 7 at the time, 9 now) has a cell phone that only has BMs number in it. We went to bed one night and SD used her cell phone to talk to BM and BM told SD things to say at school so CPS would be contacted. I discovered this when I heard SD on the phone when I got up to use the bathroom.(Guess who showed up at my door the next afternoon?? Yep, CPS). Since then, I have taken the cell phone into our bedroom every night, so when dumbass BM took my SO to court last summer for custody (he has full custody, unfortunately) she looked like an idiot saying, "My daughter calls me every night crying that she wants to come live with me".
Interesting how everyone is
Interesting how everyone is appalled at this child's behavior but not at "my live in bf." Did everyone miss that?
So you moved in, and now they are supposed to fall in line? Hmmm...
And regarding all the ludicrous comments, do ANY of you have kids?! OMG!!!!!
First of all, co-sleeping does NOT cause this problem. Divorce/separation of child from a parent, a new person moving in, insecurity, anxiety, and fears cause this problem.
Second, it is ABSOLUTELY normal for a child of this age to have what we would see as irrational fears. Why all of a sudden are they afraid of the dark? Or afraid to be alone in their bedroom at night? Because they go through different stages of development. Just because they aren't afraid of the dark at age 6 doesn't mean it is abnormal that they would be afraid at age 8. My son developed a fear all of a sudden at age 9 of someone breaking in because his bedroom was right by the front door. His way of dealing with it was to sleep with a stick that he could use to defend himself. After a few months, the problem went away. Please do some reading about this, because it doesn't seem like anyone responding understands this.
Third, I have used cell phones for this exact purpose. If my kids were sick, I had them call me if they needed something so they didn't have to come find me. And if they woke up in the middle of the night and needed me, my bedroom is downstairs from them, I would hope they would call if they could not come down for some reason. You might say, "But the boy isn't sick..." Doesn't matter. He needs his father for something. His father wants to respond to his needs. The only problem here is that it is disturbing...THE LIVE IN GF.
It is the parent's job to respond to the child's needs. He was told not to come to the bedroom. He found a way around it. He was not told, "Look, suck it up and deal with it, because we don't care what's going on during the hours that we need to sleep." But that is what you intended for him to get, and now that that's not what was conveyed, you are pissed because he still thinks he's allowed to reach out to his father during the night.
Perhaps I have taken all those psychology classes I had to take for granted, because this seems like such a no brainer...
I agree!! My BS had different
I agree!! My BS had different stages like that where he would be afraid at night around 7 years old and snuck in our bed a few times. We knew it was a phase and helped him through it. I imagine if we divorced and mom or dad had another person in bed with them it would be very difficult for an already insecure child. I have a soft spot for night time issues. My own mom totally ignored us when we had problems and I still remember that as bad parenting and a tad neglectful.
Not sure if you are writing
Not sure if you are writing to me but, YES I am a sm to 2 SD's and BM to one. SD at 9 tried to sleep in our room and occasionally we set up a little camp out bed on the floor. She didn't want to do it every night and it did annoy me a bit but it wasn't a life changing inconvenience. AS i said about BS, it was a temporary phase - no biggy. Sheesh.
I AGREE ! Co-sleeping is
I AGREE ! Co-sleeping is unhealthy overall. I am talking about occasional nights when they are scared.
Are you writing to me? I did
Are you writing to me? I did not write that sentence, "First of all, co-sleeping does NOT cause this problem. Divorce/separation of child from a parent, a new person moving in, insecurity, anxiety, and fears cause this problem.
Check the posts. You are talking to the wrong poster on this sentence.
ok LOL
ok LOL :?
Umm did you READ the entire
Umm did you READ the entire post? Perhaps you could use some reading lessons with those Psychology lessons. It's apparent that these have ALWAYS been issues even before I moved in AND not only that he was sleeping in the same bed with the live in gf and the dysfunctional part was that the father actually thought it was OK until I insisted that it was not and I was leaving if it didn't stop. Haha let me also say I think it ridiculous that a kid would need a cellphone to call out anytime of the night. Absolutely insane and I don't need a book to tell me that I raised my own kid. Furthermore, what did he need his father for every night or every morning? I also need to add that this kid and the BM have been divorced since be was 8 months, it's the ONLY arrangement he knows, so what does your psychology book say about that?
hahahahahaha: "...to reach
hahahahahaha:
"...to reach out to his father during the night."
thanks hypo, i'll have those songs rattling in my brain all day... better than the brady bunch theme, i guess
"First of all, co-sleeping
"First of all, co-sleeping does NOT cause this problem. Divorce/separation of child from a parent, a new person moving in, insecurity, anxiety, and fears cause this problem."
Funny, my daughters are "victims" of divorce and have never had any anxiety, insecurity or fears related to the divorce.
my.kids.mom,
I agree it sounds like you're a disney parent. Good grief, the boy "needs" his daddy so his dad just jumps?
If a kid is afraid of the dark then use a night light.
The son wasn't sick, he's just spoiled and just used to having daddy say "how high?" when he says "jump".
It's because of parents that spoil their kids that there are sites like these.
For Christs sake woman you're
For Christs sake woman you're going to live with this disfunctional father for the rest of your life? He's incapable of raising children. Do you want children by this guy? His kid is growing up to be so inept he'll be crying to daddy with every mis-step he takes and they'll be a lot of them. Plus you hinted the bio-mother is a problem.
Jesus why haven't you left already. NOBODY should be a step-parent. It aught to be against the law. You'll have problems with this guy as a parent of any kids you have, he'll put his first family first and your kids will get second shift and his ex-wife will be dictating to him until the kid finally leaves home which will probably be around thirty.
For Gods sake pack your clothes and RUN.