Morality?
There's a lot of talk about StepMoms and how they think their step kids should behave. 99.9% of the time it's surrounding behaviour - table manners, grades/school, growing up issues, manners, politeness, the list goes on.
WHY is it, that StepMoms are the ONLY ones concerned about this type of thing?
I mean, you'd think the BioParents would CARE about how their children are growing up or what types of people they will be when they are older?
The BioMom in our life doesn't give a crap about anyone - BUT herself - and couldn't care LESS about 'morality', values or teaching my skids anything other than the basics - meaning 'here's a cell phone, you're now above 8 years old & can care for yourself. Make your own breakfast (here's a box of cereal), walk to school, make yourself dinner (here's a can opener). See you whenever'.
Table manners? BM eats with her hands and chews with her mouth open, licks her plate & is just gross
Behaviour? BM ignores the skids and couldn't be bothered. DH is busy and who picks up the slack? The SM.
Manners? Ditto
Growing up issues? Ditto.
Again, the list goes on and on - and on.
I just cannot fathom NOT caring enough to show my kids right from wrong and helping them learn the ways of the world. My bios certainly learn a lot because I'm THERE, I recognize they are my kids and I'm not going to let another person (who I will treat like sh*t - like most SM's are) raise them.
I would NEVER treat them like non-entities - BM has essentially ignored them for years, focusing on herself and forgetting they are now not kids anymore and she's missed out on most of their young lives!! What a waste.
Why procreate if you aren't going to raise your kids?
I feel StepMoms are the only ones in a stepfamily that talk about these things. I don't see BioFathers talking about them or even noticing - they're too busy coddling and Disney-Daddying. The BM's are idiots and then that leaves us.
Then we disengage and all hell breaks loose but we're free of 'caring'.
It's just sad.
I think most times if the mom
I think most times if the mom was raised with expectations, manners, being respectful of others then she expects that as the norm for her own children. Divorced or not those would be the traits passed on. These are also the bio moms we don't read about here.
It is the white trash,dishonest,alcoholic,drug using, open to the public, entitled bio moms that get the most vented about on this site
Because dads feel guilty so
Because dads feel guilty so don't want to rock the boat is what I've learned from my morning on here. DH don't want to be the bad guy, they want to be the good guy, some BM need to take responsibility- spoiling them etc is their way of making up for a split home. Do they not realise its ruining their kids life and future!!!! do ftisyrating
I don't think dads in general
I don't think dads in general are all that worried with how kids hold a fork, or put a napkin in their lap, etc.
I know my dad didn't, and he was anything but a Disney dad.
XH didn't seem to care, and neither did DH. I honestly don't see either of them as Disney dads, either.
I just don't know that straight, non-metro guys care about that kind of stuff. :?
I could be totally wrong, of course.
Honestly? Who is to say that
Honestly? Who is to say that bioparents don't care about how their kids behave? Perhaps the step parents in question have higher expectations of their step kids, than their bios have of them. Perhaps bioparents ideas of what is acceptable behavior is very different than what we expect, which is often the case. I know if my husband only saw his kids 4-6 days a month he would not spend that time disciplining them about table manners. I think a lot of it comes down to how WE (steps) want our stepkids to behave and it drives us bat shit crazy when others don't feel the same way. I learned a long time ago that I cannot make other people care like I do. Once I accepted this, it made things a lot easier for me.
Idk if. Only spent 4-6 days a
Idk if. Only spent 4-6 days a month with my kids I'd want to squeeze as much teaching about morals, values, and manners in as I possibly could as I could no guarantee it was coming from someone else. And that is the main goal when raising children. To teach them to be good, independent me,bets of society- not to hang put, play with them, and buy them stuff.
Have you been a NCP?
Have you been a NCP?