Don't let anyone's opinion change how you are handling things in YOUR house. Unless he lives there full-time with you, he doesn't know what is required in training your SD. Would he have said this if it was your bio? Comments from others can really make us question whether we are being the evil stepmother or if we are just doing what most parents do.

I've had my share of crappy guilt-ridden comments by other family members too and it has made me feel bad & guilty for weeks/years! I keep telling myself that I wouldn't question how often I correct my own bios so don't questions yourself when you correct the steps either. People seriously believe skids should get extra special treatment and that's just BS!

I agree with Frustr8d1... I hate those 'passing comments' from family members who just view through a very small window into our daily life.. critizing and making me feel guilty... What did sd's BF say? My DW normally backs me up and puts me at ease.. To me sounds like your doing a good job.. I've had the same kind of ''I just dont believe children should be forced to eat something they dont like''.. They dont have a clue... these type of relatives also always seem to only participate in fun stuff, where the children will be eating chicken nuggets and ice cream.. dont worry, sounds like your doing a good job

Your brother was completely out of line.

That being said, I would suggest dropping the food battle.

I agree just tell her once that she has to eat it all or else no desert and just leave her to sit there till shes done.

Having said that your brother was being an ass. I would tell him dont ever undermine you in front of sd again. Very rude. I hate the way people feel they have a right to critise what step mothers do but wouldnt dream of doing it to a bio.

I think your brother was right in what he said, but wrong to say it when he did. I also think brothers would say the same thing if it was a bio child. That's what brothers do. He was just sick of hearing it, so he said it. But as I said, he should not have said it in front of her.

If she doesn't want to eat her food fine, she shouldn't have to, however, should she get a chocolate brownie afterwards NO. It really is that simple.

Don't get into an arguement with her, you will never win, particularly in someone else's home, because it does give other people the right to have an opinion. If I had to listen to that in my home, I'd speak up to. You yourself were tired of it, can you imagine how others were feeling.

No lunch, no dessert, no arguement or attention from you.

Practice at home if you have her so next week you are prepared to call her for lunch, "once" when she eventually comes in, and she will, as soon as she starts, tell her, fine, eat what you want, but if you cannot finish your meal, you cannot have dessert and when she moans about that, just tell her again you have told her once, you won't be telling her again. No lunch, no dessert and get on with your lunch, don't let her see you are rattled, just join back in the adult conversation and ignore her. If she sees you aggitated she'll keep it up. If she keeps whining and you've had enough of it, don't lose your temper just say okay then, you can leave the table, but no dessert, and make sure she doesn't get any.

The whole time you were arguing with her, she was getting attention from everyone and she knew it. She's a kid, good or bad attention is attention, they all love attention.

If any family members try to undermine you in this, simply say, Look, that doesn't help you know. Be consistent be firm but fair.

She's continuing to negotiate because she continues to get attention. If this is how meals normally go then it's time to change the game, I did the "here's your food you have till x time to eat" then remove it to my dd when she was younger, and SO's dd. Both now eat well usually.

I am going to go off and not agree with this one. Perhaps give her LESS than the other kids. Her tummy might not be as big.

I have a real issue with making kids eat MORE food than they want. I think it is wrong. If they have eaten some - half of their food and then say they are done - just remove the plate. No nagging or making her feel bad for not eating more. This is how eating disorders start.

As for dessert, if SHE ate 1/2 I would give dessert. Just because you put too much on her plate doesn't mean she should miss out on dessert. This is one of my BIG PET PEEVES. Food! My parents used to make us eat until we finished our plates - it was ridiculous and I never believed it was the right thing to do - even now as an adult.

I watched my sister throw up on her dinner plate at one of these dinners and it was traumatic to see such agony caused over how much food she ate. She was maybe 6-7 and I was 9. Poor thing.

If she does get hungry later, offer only healthy snacks. Apples, veggies and dip or whole wheat toast, non-sugary cereal etc. A lot of kids are grazers and like to eat many times a day but in small portions. This is actually a lot healthier. If these food items are accessible to her, tell her these are the things she can have multiple times a day - not cookies and ice cream. Does she like yogurt? Maybe yogurt instead of icecream with berries on top - yummy.

UGH! This reminds me of my SS. He was on a chicken nuggets from McDonald's diet. When my husband started getting him its all he would eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

I started to tell my husband to not make them a choice, but then, I thought, it's not my f'ing problem. His mom obviously doesn't eat healthy either, so why try to change anything EOW. Besides that, telling SS "no" never ended nice.

It really helps to step back, let dad do the work and make the decisions he sees fit. No skin off me and my kids back if SS eats chicken nuggets. Not going to my hips, but arguing about it got to my nerves!!!! Save yourself the headache!!! Let dad do it all.

Nobody knows what it is like dealing with SKIDS unless they've experienced it themselves. Let it roll off (and tell brother to kindly mind his own business in the future). As far as picky eaters go, fix them a plate like everyone else has, with a reasonable amount of food for a child of that age. Have a talk about it before the next meal and tell SKID that from now on they have to eat some of everything on the plate. If they don't eat most of it(you decide how much)-no dessert. Period, end of argument. No more arguments, no wheeling and no dealing. Nothing else until the next scheduled meal either. No snacks, just water. And keep your word. Even if there is a lot of static from SKID (and there will be, SKID sounds spoiled). Kids need to learn consequences. They need to learn healthy habits, including healthy eating. We've all seen what kind of monsters they turn in to when adults won't step up and be in charge. You are the boss and you are in charge. If anyone (like DH) interferes, tell them to butt out or you will detach and inform them that they can handle it from now on and keep your word. This is manipulative behavior and can't be rewarded with extra attention of any form. Good Luck!