Trying to get SKs full time, can I/we use this in court?
My boyfriend, BD has 6 kids and his ex-wife isn't the greatest mom. I'm sure she does her best, but her best just isn't enough. Currently he has them Friday evening until Sunday evening. He wants it switched so he can have them during the school days.
NOW, since May, the kids have had a constant outbreak of lice. STILL HAVE IT! They don't get it from our house, we treat it constantly!!! Spent hundreds of dollars to treat their hair and the carpets, ect. BM uses coco oil, petroleum jelly, or just manually comb out the lice.
BM has always had someone babysit the kids. For 4 months it was an "old friend" of BM from years ago. This lady was living in the house with her brother, watching the kids full time. NOW BM has a friend of hers watching the 6 kids, along with dealing with her own 3 kids. The new baby sitter "lives" in an RV on the property and the BM is allowing these kids to stay in the house, eat her kid's food, and when they're our house, BM lets these other kids sleep in her kid's beds.
There's more, but here's a start.
From my own experience (SO's
From my own experience (SO's dd has had chronic lice for a year we treat BM sucks) nobody cares, not cps, not the courts not until this last week when we got the kids and his dd was now covered in sores on her body I demanded SO take her to the medical clinic point out his "I concern of the neglect" to a doctor did anyone care the doctor reported it, so now SO, myself andba doctor (I'm a mandated reporter and they still didn't see what I saw as an issue) now an MD reports it and cps was ouy the next day. SO showed her the papers from the doc, explained BM,s refusal of the medicaid card repeatedly even for serious bronchitis now they are listening yet best we can expect is maybe a joint custody agreement
All you're saying is bring
All you're saying is bring them to the doctor and explain how long everything has been going on for, and the concerns we have?
At most, social services will
At most, social services will help bm get rid of the lice in her house. None of the other stuff will matter.
Really? Considering BM has
Really? Considering BM has child support money, state funded food and then these other people are gaining from it? I mean there's 6 kids, split between two rooms. 2 G, 1 B in one room and 3 G in another. Now you add in these 3 other kids?? I mean BM even told SD13 to give her bed up to this 7y/o girl of the baby sitter.
It sounds like Bm must be
It sounds like Bm must be working if she has a baby sitter for her kids. Your DH pays CS...how much CS does he pay for SIX kids?
The stuff you posted... doesn't sound like there's anything there for a change of custody. Sorry.
Ahhhhh, honey... just read
Ahhhhh, honey... just read your bio.
WHY are you, at TWENTY ONE, going to marry an older man (2/3rds your age older!!) with six kids? Have you stopped to ask yourself why a man whose children are closer to your age than he is wants to marry you? And he has SIX kids??
Please, please, please, PLEASE think about this one long and hard. I have kids your age, and I would have a serious conversation with my daughter if she thought this was the life for you.
The OP has a 3 year old who
The OP has a 3 year old who she gave up custody of...she is trying to get the child back in the middle of all of this. Seems to me, she should be focusing on her OWN child, rather than trying to get custody of 6 kids who are not hers.
I agree w/ stick a fork. You
I agree w/ stick a fork. You probably don't want to hear this....but I married a man twice my age (now my ex) and it was a big mistake. We're friends now, but I wouldn't listen to my mother who suggested I wait a year. You've read people say, "if I only knew then what I know now..." You deserve a man who you can discover life's adventures with. I know I deserve better myself....so it's easier said than done...you probably see him as a source of security when he and his kids will soon be an albatross around your neck soon enough. I wish I could take my own advice. Instead, I pretend it's tolerable....and it sometimes is.
You are 21 and seriously
You are 21 and seriously spending the rest of your life doing this? Do you know how much worse it is going to get? Do you know why this old guy wants a woman around? He needs a babysitter and a sexual partner and you fit the bill quite nicely.
Don't do this girl. Please don't.
Edavis, I do not meant to be
Edavis, I do not meant to be harsh....BUT WHY would you want to take a woman's kids from her when you yourself are trying to get custody of your own child-who YOU gave up? Sorry, you have no right to be even thinking of this, when you do not even have your own daughter in your custody.
Please take a step back and think about this, and your daughter.
I don't know if the BM in this situation is bad or not, but who are YOU to judge?
Sorry, but I am so sick of children being in these kinds of situations.
5 years ago, all I wanted was
5 years ago, all I wanted was for me & SO to have primary custody of his 3 neglected & abused daughters.
Well, 3.5 years ago it happened. They were removed by CPS, and placed in my care.
Now, I wish I never wished for this. 3 is hard enough, and has driven me into deep depression.
I'm fairly confident 6 would induce suicide. :O
We have experienced a BM that
We have experienced a BM that has been as neglectful as they come. Lice, abuse, leaving the kids for weeks at a time, a rotating door of random men, constant drinking and driving WITH the kids, horrid, unsanitary living conditions, etc etc etc. CPS has been involved many times (we've only called once) since SD17.5 was just two years old. DH has filed for full custody three times, the last time three years ago after SD (then 14) was RAPED by BM's husband of two years. He has never left ANY of the court proceedings with even JOINT custody, let alone more time with SD. Sorry to be a downer, but the BM in your situation isn't doing anything that will be considered grounds for losing custody. If your BF takes this to court, he'll likely end up spending thousands in attorney fees, with very little to no change in the status quo. The best your BF can do is to try and make his DD's life a bit better by helping her mother to eliminate the lice and offer to take DD more often without the threat of court action. BM will just get better at hiding the neglect, or willfully ignore BD's suggestions if she feels threatened.
BM may not be doing things the way YOU would, but that means squat in the big picture. You can be loving, treat your BF's DD with care, and support him in his position as her father, but this is not your kid. Don't spend your energies trying to get her away from her BM. You'll have nothing to show for it in the end, except a huge headache, a possible broken relationship with your BF, BM that hates your guts, and a SD that rejects you. Be her friend, but don't get involved at this level. No good will come of it.
Also, like several other posters pointed out, you can do far better for your OWN life by choosing a path that isn't guaranteed stress and heartache. I was 21 when I married my DH, and I made the mistake of getting over-involved in how our BM was raising SD. I really thought I was helping. I wasn't. That is very clear now. This little girl will NEVER not want her BM, and you will never be her BM.