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DS-7 thrown out of school boyfriend mad because I don't want responsibility of getting him to school

Roxyrow's picture

Submitted by Roxyrow on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:12pm

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SS7 fights with mom every morning about going to school getting on bus etc. He told the teacher he was going to kill her :jawdrop: and got expelled. DB wants to move him to our school district and I told him I don't want responsibility of getting him off to school because boyfriend goes to work early and I put my son and his older son 13 on the bus. I don't want the same problem as BIO mom she's late to work everyday because of this kid. Boyfriend mad saying Thanks for your help I'll have to move to my moms..He's never backed me up with this kid and I'm not going to be late for work!!!It's way to much to ask of me I think.

Aeron's picture

Submitted by Aeron on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:16pm

If you're willing (and I wouldn't be personally) tell him, Sure, you can move SS7 here to go to our school district. But if and ONLY if you're the one getting him up ready and to school. You undercut my authority with him, so you obviously don't want me to really parent him and I have to keep my job to provide for my son, so I can't be late like BM - I'll get fired. If that doesn't work for you, sorry, but that's all I can do. I have my own responsibilities I have to take care of.

Honestly, it is Way too much for him to ask. He doesn't get to volunteer you to deal with the little ball of hatefulness.

WTHDISUF's picture

Submitted by WTHDISUF on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:21pm

Why does he want you to do more than the BM is doing? And is everyone missing the obvious--a 7yr old fights his Mom to not go to School & then told his Teacher he'd Kill her. I don't see how changing schools could be the answer because it's not the problem! It'll simply transfer the problem to YOU--the person with the LEAST responsibility for this kid. This boy has or is definitely developing issues -serious issues- and someone needs to get a professional involved to determine what it is. In this day and age of fragile, criminal-minded unstable kids, I wouldn't take any chances on thinking he's just talking--that's not normal talk for a kid.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:21pm

Boyfriend mad saying Thanks for your help I'll have to move to my moms.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My response ... "see ya asshole"

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:23pm

Way too much to expect of you. What would he do if you weren't there?

Guess it's off to his mom's then.

Roxyrow's picture

Submitted by Roxyrow on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 12:26pm

These kids have been in the middle a custody battle for the last year. Both parents need to get these kids counseling but bury their head in the sand. 3 kids all have behavior issues but nobody has time to take to counseling at some point you have to make time!

WTHDISUF's picture

Submitted by WTHDISUF on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 3:34pm

Kraken!! LOLOLOLOL!!! That's worse than the nickname I have for BM -Wildebeest. Kraken... lol.

3familiesIn1's picture

Submitted by 3familiesIn1 on Thu, 09/13/2012 - 1:19pm

Its too much to ask. The child has 2 functioning parents. They need to step up and do what is required. Not you.

I find often my DH was putting me in the position where I was expected to do more for his skids than BM or himself - and I have 2 bios of my own to look after.

Sorry DH.. pecking order is my kids over yours - plain and simple. His kids have 2 functioning parents. My kids have me and their dad whom is almost useless - yet when push comes to shove and I am stuck, I call their father first because ultimately its HIS obligation over DH.

DH and BM are obligated to be responsible for their children.
Step parents get to choose their responsibility and set boundaries.

Its different for each of us. I have been shoved and strong-armed into situations WAY too many times where DH has made me feel obligated where I am NOT obligated in any way. Its unfair and I am starting to push back - its hard and I am not successful all the time. You did the right thing. The bio parents need to FIX the problem then you can resume some responsibility if you choose - but its not your job to manage the problem they are choosing not to FIX.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Fri, 09/14/2012 - 4:04am

I think it would be a good idea if you told this guy that living with his Mom is a great idea. And if he won't go change the locks. In his self-centered world women are here for two things one of them is to wait on him.

I wonder how long before you were put on this kids hit list?