Does the CO actually spell out they are to throw a joint party? (If so, wow, that's the first time I've ever heard of that. Lucky you!)

If that's the case, though... yeah, I guess a modification is necessary. Although, without knowning the specific language of the order, I can only guess that a contempt conviction would be a really hard sell.

Also, doing a full modification over one day a year seems like using a meteroid to kill a flea. They can be very involved, time consuming, expensive, and emotionally draining. Honestly, I'd suggest just doing something else for the birthday next year and seeing what happens.

I've never heard of that, actually in my and my exh pp I had stated joint bday parties but the facilitators told me that the courts wouldnt accept that, because they could not force us (me and my ex) to spend time together so I had to specify eoy,however we get along and still throw joint parties, but If that were to change it'd go back to the co pp of eoy, were in WA .

First, have you or DH actually read the CO/Parenting Plan regarding these issues? I would be very surprised if the stipulation of a joint B-day party was in the CO/Parenting Plan. It may split B-days between BioMom and BioDad but forcing a joint party is unlikely IMHO. Even the idiot bottom 10%ers of the legal profession who sit on the family law bench in the Peoples Republic of Oregon are not that stupid.

It is absolutely imperitive that you get a copy of the CO/Parenting Plan. It is also imperitive that you get a copy of the supplemental rules for the Oregon county where the CO was issued. I believe that all counties in Oregon have supplemental rules governing visitation/custody/support. This link is an example of what I am speaking of.

http://courts.oregon.gov/Multnomah/docs/CourtRules/SLR2012EffectiveFebru...

Google "Oregon Supplemental Rules (Your county) and print them up and keep them with your copy of the CO/Parenting Plan. These are your best tools for smacking some clarity in to BMs cranium when she gets stupid.

If the judge that ruled on your Skid's CO was stupid enough to put the stipulation of a joint birthday party in the CO it is fairly easy to file for an ammendment or request for clarification from the judge. We had to do this regarding end of visitation timing when my SS's SpermClan refused to return him on time following one of the first visitations under the CO when SS-20 was 1yo.

The judge clarified very firmly that a visitation began on the first day and ended on the last day with the child leaving to travel to SpermLand and ending when the child arrived back home. They SpermClan was playing bullshit stupid toothless moron games over travel being on my wife's time rather than on their visitation time.

We faught and won a 17+ year blended family battle in Oregon. In my experience Oregon courts are very pro resident. If you live out of state (we did the whole duration of the CO) or in a different county the dipshit judge in the county where the order was issued will tend to be blindly biased towards the BioParent who is resident in that county. Not an insurmountable problem if you keep complete detailed records and are fully versed in your specific court order and any supplemental rules that apply.

Our CO clearly stipulated that the NCP (BioDad in our case) can have the SKid for his birthday during summer visitation but never two years in a row.

My personal blended family history is that I am dad to my SS-20 and have been married to his mom for 18 years. She had SS out of wedlock when she was 16 and the SpermIdiot was 22. She went on to finish HS with honors and graduate with her class, a dual major BS with honors, an MBA with honors and is now a CPA. SS is our only child but the oldest of four out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawm by three different baby mamas. The last we heard DipShit lives in a home owned by his parents and pays no rent, his youngest three spawn live with SpermGrandPa and SPermGrandMa with no help from DipShit. The SGPs paid DipShit's CS obligation to my son. That was a nice tid bit of info when we kept the SpermClan in court.

Anyway, I am happy to share what worked for us as far as navigating Oregon family law courts. All IMHO and experience of course.

Good luck.

Best regards,

UPDATE* I just read the entire thread. Apparently the dipshit bottom 10%ers of the legal profession who tend to sit on the family law bench in Oregon really are that stupid!!!! My appologies for assuming that you had not read the CO.

I had a smidge of hope that not even an Oregon family law judge would sign such an idiot stipulation but I guess I was wrong. WOW!!!! :jawdrop: There really is no hope for Oregon. A beautiful place full of legal profession idiots! My wife is gonna love this one. She has pretty much written off any hope of intelligence for her home state judicial system. I think this is going to be the final nail in her opinion of Oregon. It is definately a beautiful place to visit but I would not want to live there when idiots have sway over my family.

From what you've said the order does not require that he go along with her plans. Let her do and pay whatever she wants. He just sends her a one time notice that he's no longer participating (can afford) in birthday parties. Let her rant and rave - setting up a contemp case would be close to impossible with wording like that.

Like most visitation type orders he can simply bow out. Birthdays are highly over-rated and it would be much simpler, easier and certainly less expensive if he simply told her to go ahead and do whatever she wanted that he would not be there.

Then the next time the kid is at his place he has a quiet celebration of a single gift, ice cream and cake after the daily family meal.

In the coming decades the kids won't remember the parties but they will remember the stupidity of parents fighting over how to put them on.