SIL won't stop talking about BM even though she knows it bothers me
My DH’s sister and mother CONSTANTLY talk about his ex-girlfriend (SD’s BM). Take yesterday, for example- DH, SD and I went to see SIL’s new apartment and were only there less than an hour & the entire time, she was talking about BM! Just random stuff- like SIL is pregnant now and she was talking about how BM was when she was pregnant… she asked DH if he has talked to BM about what they are going to do when SD starts kindergarten next year… just RANDOM stuff! This has been going on for a LONG time and I have told SIL before that it bothers me, but she keeps doing it! DH and I have been together for 3 years so it’s not like they just broke up and he just started bringing me around. BM just had another baby and SIL and MIL both went to visit her in the hospital- I told SIL it upset me and she apologized but I don’t think it was sincere. She told me BM is always going to be around because she is SD’s mother and I get that, but I think they are taking it too far, to the point of being disrespectful to me. What do you all think and do any of you have this problem??
Love it lol!
Love it lol!
That is SO disrespectful to
That is SO disrespectful to you!!! Talk to your DH about it. Have him ask them to stop. If they continue just do not go around them!! Have DH deal with the aftermath. He can explain how you felt so uncomfortable that you just choose to take yourself out of that situation.
Yup .. I agree with this!
Yup .. I agree with this!
Yeah, I don't talk to SIL
Yeah, I don't talk to SIL much but she makes comments about how I never talk to them or come around.. So I made a point to go with DH to see her new place.. This is the exact reason I don't talk to her!!
Oh and I've told DH about it
Oh and I've told DH about it many times. He has talked to them about it before. In the end, he says he cannot control what they do even though he doesn't like it. He doesn't really talk to SIL either. He talks to MIL a lot because she watches SD while he is at work.
Is she divorced? Does she
Is she divorced? Does she have an ex-boyfriend you know about? Anything you say to her will be ignored until she is put in the same position. Find out something about her, if you don't already know or about her husband and talk about it in front of them...I can ASSURE you it will ONLY stop then.
No, she really has nothing..
No, she really has nothing.. She's only 21 and she's not married.. Her and her bf have been together since high school so they really have no ex's.. It sucks!
Honey, my MIL moved BM into
Honey, my MIL moved BM into their rental apartment across the street from her house even though she can't stand BM, just to stir up trouble. BM is not even a regular figure in her childrens' life but MIL did it and said it was for the kids. Then she proceeded to invite DH and BM over to the house at the same time, wanted him to work at BM's apartment, and even invited BM over when he and the kids went to see MIL on Christmas morning without me. Luckily, however, my DH can't stand and won't be around BM so I didn't have to do or say anything. He quit going to MIL's house and refused to do the work she needed done "as long as the whore is shacked up there". (Ouch) MIL has since kicked BM out. Hmmmm. I don't know why women like to do this, but what I do know is it will never end. Just figure out how to ignore it for your sake. I've let people get to me and I've shown my *ss and it doesn't solve anything.
Oh my! I don't know why women
Oh my! I don't know why women do this either. My DH's dad has absolutely no part of it, he doesn't say one word about BM EVER. It's just DH's mom and sister. I mean I'm married to their son/brother, why would they do things to make me so upset/uncomfortable? I have a brother and can't imagine putting his wife through anything like this! What's even more baffling is that BM really is a complete piece of trash, & I'm not just saying that because of my situation.. she never takes SD on her weeks, she sends her to stay with someone else (grandmom usually), she has no job, no house (currently lives with her third baby daddy's mom), no education, NOTHING. I mean the girl is a real piece of work. So it's not a situation where she's so much better & they wished he was still with her. I mean if they do wish that, it would only be because of SD.. Idk.. They are NUTS!
c-mom you are a much better
c-mom you are a much better person than I lol. I would have made BM's life a living hell so she wanted to move but then again that is wasted energy.
My SIL and MIL are the same.
My SIL and MIL are the same. We were together 3 years before SIL took down a family portrait of DH, ex and SD! I stopped going there just so I wouldn't have to see the damn picture. And like you they are always talking about her and asking after. Everyone in DHs family (sisters, mother, grandmother, aunts)went in to a frenzy when she remarried and had another baby and were asking after her for MONTHS. What I really don't understand though is that they don't even like the ex and she doesn't like them! Ex is even quite rude to MIL yet they are still genuinly interested in her life. I feel like screaming at them: WHY DO YOU CARE!! The baby has nothing to do with you and this is the woman who had an affair on your son!!
I'd always hoped I'd have nice in-laws. Oh well...
At least I won't feel bad when we move away.
Why are they so rude?! I just
Why are they so rude?! I just don’t understand. I can’t imagine my family and I ever treating my brother’s wife/gf that way. SIL has pictures of her and BM together too (she actually just uploaded new pictures to her Facebook of SIL, MIL, BM and BM’s new baby about a month ago when they visited BM in the hospital when she had the baby). I just think it’s so inappropriate! And they talk bad about BM but then they are buddy-buddy with her so it makes me feel like they talk about me behind my back too. Like I said, SIL is pregnant now so she had uploaded some ultrasound pictures to her Facebook a few days ago. I commented on one of the pictures asking when she is going to find out if I’m having a niece or nephew. Well about an hour later, BM commented the same exact thing on a different picture (asking when they are going to find out if SHE is having a niece or nephew) lol I mean she was never married to DH in the first place and that’s her EX BOYFRIEND’S SISTER’S KID, not her niece/nephew! People have nerve. 2 of my friends who I have told about the way SIL talks about BM think it is intentional. I am starting to feel the same. I thought at first that SIL was just an idiot, but can she really be THAT stupid??
for one do not stoop to her
for one do not stoop to her level! The reason she is doing this is because you told her that it bothers you. But you have to find a way for it not to bother you, of course it hurts. No body cares to listen to those stories, but you have to be the bigger person and accept that she is only causing problems and drama. Which makes it obvious that there is a bit of jealousy there, use that to your advantage. Maybe next time you are around her ask questions about when she was pregnant, instead of turning cold. Then she might realize that it doesn't bother you anymore and she's not winning her game. Chin up, smile and walk proud! He's yours now and enjoy!
I understand completely
I have very similar issues with my in laws, with the exception of one BIL and SIL. My HDs Ex even attends ALL family events! I am slowly disengaging from all of the family and in all honesty make it pretty uncomfortable for my DH too. I ask him before we go to any event who is going to be there and if she is, then I make a point of not going and complaining about the fact that his family are just trying to hurt me. Over the years he has started to understand my point of view (none of their Exs are EVER invited and in fact I have never met them but we still have issues and if you check out my latest post you will see that I am literally dreading Christmas.
I guess I am in a better position than you because our kids (Bios and Steps) are all adults and so I can disengage more easily than you with a younder step kid.
I really do feel for you and want to pass on my support. Have you tried interrupting her with good news of your own?