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Gee she sent me the video too

cmwolfe1264's picture

So in the past 2nd-OSD has sent emails with videos or updates of her children to her Mom, Dad, siblings and her brothers wives but not me. DH asked her a couple of times to send them to me too and her response was "Oh I'm sorry I forgot to include C in my emails." Nice, she forgets cuz she obviously tries to block out that her Daddy has a wife and it isn't her mom. Whatever! Anyhoo, she sent an email this wkend with videos of her baby son walking and talking and playing and whatnot. In the end of the video she tells him to say Hi Grandma and he kind of says it and she tells him good boy but she doesn't make him say Papa or anyone else's name. Have you guessed that she remembered me this time and sent me the email with this video and others. Really? You finally remember your evil stepmom because you made sure your little baby says Hi Grandma. You don't think that wasn't intentional? LOL Wow, it just cracked me up when I saw this. Really, talk about passive aggressive behavior at its finest. Of course, the even funnier part of this story is that she apparently redid the boys rooms (her other son is 7) in a cowboy theme with cowboy lamps, and lassos on the wall etc. The room is really cute and they did a wonderful job on it. The funny part is that she, her siser and their nasty Mother always make fun that my DH is a cowboy and they make it sound so dirty and disgusting. But lo' and behold its okay for her boys to be cowpokes but her Dad is a loser for being a cowboy? Really, again so very passive, aggressive. I say I'd much rather be married to someone like my country-loving, cowboy DH than a white trash, dope-smoking, illiterate loser from BM's side of the family. Such a classic story of SD behavior isn't it?...............

LostinSpaceandTime's picture

YSD sent DH a video of GS1 walking...with BM in the video. DH did not show me that one...he waited till she sent another. YSD emails him photos and videos of the baby and harrasses him by phone text to demand what she wants for Christmas for herself and baby son. And for birthdays...money instead of anything he or used to be 'we' would pick out that she would have to waste her gas to return for the cash. I know the photos are the passive aggressive tactic, see what you are missing Daddy because you won't agree to babysit for a 9 hr day at the drop of a hat...or months in advance. Or whenever I ask.

cmwolfe...of course she wanted you to see that particular video. And even if she didn't intentionally then that means she is just an insensitive brat who doesn't think about her actions and their affect on others.
Funny about the cowboy room.
Yes...Cowboys can be dirty...they often step in, fall in, have to drag something out of something disgusting...but hey, He is your cowboy now and that is what sticks in their craw now. Envy that you have their man.

cmwolfe1264's picture

I must admit your SD takes the cake re saying to give cash rather than a gift that she has to waste gas to return. Really!, what gall. You are right that the pics are used to hurt their Daddy. Sad Sad

I haven't bought the SKids gifts in a long while. My Mom's motto was once you had children she would stop buying us a gift and buy a gift for our children. So I instigated that rule in my house too. So now I only buy gifts for the gkids for Christmas. However, I bought gift cards for SDs kids and they didn't come to our house to get their gifts until end of January when I was conveniently out of town. So I decided not to even waste my $$ buying the gkids anything this year. Why bother when we don't even know if they will ever get it!

cmwolfe1264's picture

Exactly!! Smile Really, do you think we are so stupid that we can't see right through it?

cmwolfe1264's picture

That is smart having the 2 separate email groups. I have done that before too so that I could send a version of something to just the Skids and then a version to the entire family outside of them. Yes, I beleive she is trying to tell me that I'm not really a part of the inner circle. She gets mad at her brothers and sister alot so her emails will go to both of her parents and whatever sibling she isn't mad at at the moment. Interestingly enough BM send emails to her DILs rather than her sons because her sons don't want to have anything to do with her so she tries to get to them via their wives. However, their wives are fed up with her too now so they don't respond to BM anymore.

Sadly, I think you are right that since you haven't shown the behavior you have experienced with your SDs to your SM she doesn't have any problem being rude to you when it suits her. You would think that if you don't give her flak and she doesn't feel any animosity from you that she would feel comfortable in your relationship and not pull the crap she did for your Dad's birthday party. I'm sorry, it sucks. I'm sure you bend over backwards to make the relationship between yourself and your Dad and her as smooth as can be given the nasty crap you experience with your own SKids. And it would be nice if the effort was returned from her always, not just most of the time.

Yep, you are right about not pretending they are my family. I do not any more. I tell my husband all the time now that they are his children not mine and its okay. He tries to tell me they are my children even though I didn't give birth to them and that they (well the SSs anyway) think of me as their Mother, I say no they aren't but that is okay. He gets annoyed with me I can tell but I'm just trying to get him to understand that we ARE not and WILL not ever be one big happy family and it is okay, we don't really have to be to make it work.

godess-clueless's picture

Sounds like the normal routine for around here also. I just remind myself that all the time, effort and money I used to spend doing for the step grandchildren is now spent on my own.

Pictures occasionaly are mailed here addressed to my DH only. If it were not for the occasional picture sent he would not know what the grandchildren look like. He makes a 3 hr. drive to see them once a yr. Has no idea how to entertain them since I removed myself as the " entertainment director "

DH's children have not made the effort to visit him in over 5 years. So all visits and transportation of getting the g/children is on him. They really do not appear to have much to talk about or do together when they are older[teens] and he has no interest in babysitting the toddlers.

cmwolfe1264's picture

Yes, you are right it is normal SD behavior isn't it. You are right about the money, time and effort spent on SGKids can now be spent on ourselves and our DH and really isn't that much more fun for us?