Are you the family scapegoat?
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I feel like I am the family scapegoat - if anything happens, it must have been my fault. If BM screws up (happens daily) it's my fault. If DH does something, I must have done it. Skids - oh I won't even go there - EVERYTHING that they've EVER done or not done - is MY fault. My in-laws? Yep my fault (I think they did stuff to BM too - I wasn't the cause of the divorce and didn't even KNOW my husband when she cheated and left - for her best friend's husband!)
I am the Scapegoat. I've gotten fairly used to it. I should change my name to SMScapeGoat.
The wife is always to blame.
The wife is always to blame. Didn't your mother teach you that?
No, she didn't My mother
No, she didn't
My mother taught me that family was important, that I would marry someone who loved me not a man with an EX-WIFE!!!
I had no idea that I would get into this.
I'm depressed, anxiety-ridden and borderline....well I just don't want to be here anymore.
I've been abused, put down, insulted, called a c*nt by BM and her friends and her husband.
I've been neglected, ignored, left, yelled at, blamed.
And all I wanted was a husband, a home and a life.
I have no life anymore.
BM has destroyed my life, or what was left of it in the last few years.
Way to go BM. Thank you for being born, having kids, and DESTROYING approx 8 people's entire lives.
Why do these biomothers still get to breathe oxygen is beyond me.
But I'm DONE with this life.
When I say that I know how
When I say that I know how you feel, I mean it. In my marriage, everything was also "my fault" and not just with things concerning the skids.
I'll give you an example: one morning my daughter (then about age 14) was upset with me because her "favorite something" that she wanted to wear wasn't clean. She went outside and vented to dh. Dh came in the house and said to me (AND I QUOTE): "If you can't keep clean clothes for the kids and keep their laundry done, we will have to hire someone who can."
Never mind that dd had PLENTY of clean clothes - just not her "favorite something" and I worked full time and managed EVERYTHING on the home front.
It sounds to me like you might want to start planning your exit from your current situation. It will be like walking on broken glass through flames - but you will come out on the other side happier, stronger, better. Ask me how I know.
My inlaws are wonderful, so
My inlaws are wonderful, so I've never gotten that from them (in fact, I know for a fact they wonder how I put up with DH!)
But yes, there are times that I am the one to blame... because apparently I'm the only one who can pay bills, go grocery shopping, do laundry, keep everyone's schedule straight, make phone calls, make dinner, make our home a happy place. I'm also the only one who is "willing" (not) to give up my time, my pride, my conscience, my dignity to grovel at the feet of the First Family in order to make sure their wants are met.
Bring on the scapegoating... if you're upset something wasn't done the first time, keep it up and see how quickly it gets done a second.
BM has destroyed my life, or
BM has destroyed my life, or what was left of it in the last few years.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
What has your DH done to stop this? He sounds like the issue. Not BM. Sorry hun. Hope it gets better.
Agree. If SM isn't the
Agree. If SM isn't the scapegoat 100% of the time, BM isn't either. DH needs to step up and step in.
That’s the way it is in my
That’s the way it is in my house too. When SD acts up and I correct her, she’s “just playing” or whatever the excuse of the moment is. DH is just completely delusional. I had to have a talk with him today about our finances because he hasn’t been paying his share- I have all the bills printed out right in front of his face & he said “I don’t see how you’re paying more than me.” He is an IDIOT. Seriously. I never thought I would talk about my husband that way, but I also never thought I would be married to someone like this. I feel your pain, I really do. It’s always the SM’s fault.
FreedomSM--that was my life a
FreedomSM--that was my life a few weeks ago. I was actually put on medication (zoloft) to help me deal with my blended family. It's really sad that I have to take medication to deal with my fucked up life.
oh I bet. Any woman that
oh I bet. Any woman that chooses a life like one of stepmom is absolutely going to be become miserable. No matter what.
Sorry
Oh I know the feeling. My
Oh I know the feeling. My three demon s/kids blame all the misery in all the world on me. Even though... hey, their mother abandoned them twice and doesn't want to take them more than she absolutely has to, and has even practically shoved that in their face.
No matter... as step-parents, we seem to be just doomed to be viewed as the Anti-Christ. Awesome. Wish someone had warned me.