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Son and husband hate each other

kleigh1976's picture

Been having a ton of problems with my son.. and now it seems my son and my husband hate each other.. My son has been smoking pot on and off for 2 years and we have tried to get him help but he won't have anything to do with it. My husband is fed up with the way he act.. This past couple days have been really rough.. we recently found out he was selling his meds so we called the cops to report it.. this caused a huge fight and my son punched a wall and broke his hand.. after things calmed down, the next day my husband was still mad cause he won't go get help and wouldn't go someplace so he could take a "time out" from the family. He took his ipod from him and smashed it because he uses it to communicate with his druggie friends and we can't track it. And told him he didn't need to have that since he wouldn't cooperate with us on getting help for his drugs.
Now i am torn between the two.. he has gone to stay with his dad for a couple days.. I feel like we should replace the ipod since he bought it with his own money.. My husband doesn't agree. Its like they both have so much hatred toward each other and I don't know what to do.. I am sick of the way my son acts and the way he treats everyone in the family.. but i also am sick of the way this was handled. I can't bring up the ipod to my husband cause he just gets bent out of shape about it.. Should i replace it??

smdh's picture

I think if your kid refuses to be held accountable for his illegal behavior, someone has to do something! Your dh is trying. Perhaps breaking his Ipod wasn't the best consequence but it was at least a consequence. Replacing it just tells your son that he can do what he wants and you'll bail him out and it tells your dh that regardless of how shitty your kid is being, you'll side with him over your dh.

Sounds to me like your dh has reason to not like your kid. He is doing drugs. He refuses to get help. He is selling medication. He is destructive to property. And you expect your dh to "stop being mad" once your son calms down. Isn't that nice for you and your son? Your dh isn't the problem here. Your kid is and you are for not laying down the law and expecting him to either get help or get out. If he is too young to throw out, then he you are in charge, as he is a child. Put your big girl panties on and stop enabling your son.

kleigh1976's picture

I called the cops on him for selling and doing.. he is 16 and is now with his father to see if he can get him to go to rehab.. We have tried to do a residential rehab and we can't find one that will take him unless he is willing. I told him he wasn't living in our home if he wasn't going to get help.I have put him in out patient rehab 3 times... We told him that if he chooses to not comply he will be going to military school.

kleigh1976's picture

He is facing Juvi.. we will know for sure on that in the next couple weeks.. I believe that is probly the only way he will learn to stop his crap. Thank you everyone.. i needed to hear it from someone other than my family.. being a mom sucks.. I am taking all this in and realize he is right for what he did..

herewegoagain's picture

Are you seriously wondering if you should replace the iPOD? I think you need to focus on your son getting off drugs and forget the iPod. Is he underage? If he is, why can't you just put him somewhere to clean up? If he's not, then sorry, the time has passed...nothing you can do now...but making your husband to be the bad guy here is NOT going to solve the drug issues of your son. Making YOUR SON responsible for his choices, will.