Heck no, his father and you both need to teach him that your bed is your bed and he has to sleep in his. I wish I would let my SD11 sleep in our bed. Besides, don't give anyone the opportunity to say that anything "inappropriate" is taking place. BMs would love to be able to try some BS like that.

No, he really shouldn't. Does your husband feel comfortable with SS starting Kindergarten and still cosleeping? That's a bit odd.

My DH's ex-wife plans on buying a king sized bed because her 7 year old son & 5 year daughter sleep with her. When they are here they sleep in the bunk bed that we bought. I shouldn't be surprised the 7 year old climbs n the counters to get permanent markers off the the fridge so him & sister can draw on doors, walls & brand new tv's. They know darn well better than to do that at our house!!! But BM doesn't discipline them so she's the one at fault. Your DH needs to put his foot down & let son know that he has one week then the nonsense will stop & he will have to sleep by himself. Surely dad doesn't want a 10 year old son that needs his daddy to hold him tight at night.

My SD5 is the same way and NO. I don't care who's kids they are. The adult bed is the ADULT BED. Unless you want him in your bad at 10, set boundaries now.

My SS3.5 co-sleeps at his house with BM, but for the most part sleeps in his own bed at our house. Sometimes we have issues with getting him to go to sleep in his own bed at our house, and rather than fight the battle DH puts him in our bed-turns on ESPN- and in 10 minutes SS is bored to sleep. Then DH moves him to his own bed.

I think wanting a goodnight kiss/hug, to cuddle a little, read a story is all normal things for a young child to ask for before bedtime. To want to be HELD ALL NIGHT. Ridiculous.

>>>Should my 5 year old SS sleep in our bed whenever he stays?<<<

No.

Did your DH sleep with his dad when he was 5 y/o?

The fact that your DH allows him to sleep with him and seems ok that you have to sleep in the spare room is simply disrespectful.Another guilty Disney dad who thinks boundaries are harmful for his kid and sacrifices a healthy adult relationship in order to be his own sons slave.Ridiculous.All he does is creating two victims- you and also his poor spoiled boy who is made a brat and not allowed to grow up and be age appropriately independent.
Put you feet down with your husband-he needs to start respecting his own marriage, what a clown!!

What I want to know is does he sleep in grandma's bed the rest of the time or does he sleep by himself?

You do need to talk to DH about how that is YOUR bed too, and YOU intend to sleep in it every night, with DH ONLY.

If he is not receptive to that tell him he and his son can have the spare room, but ask him if he really thinks it is healthy for his son to still be sleeping with daddy? If he thinks all the other 5 year olds still do that?

Tell him you are ok with him spending some time reading to him, settling him etc, but that at 5 his son needs to start learning some independance and as his father that is his job.

Also tell him NO SEX until the sleeping arrangements are sorted

I would like to respectfully disagree with all the other posters on one point....Is this normal? YES...as far as Dad's who are divorced are concerned, yes this is normal. Is it right?! NOOOOOOO for so many reasons. But how many of us have started a relationship with our BF, or future DH and they had their kids sleeping in the bed with them?! I know I did! It's a really bad habit. But it IS easily broken if you stick to your guns and don't let them back in the bed with you, EVER. And Dad has to stick to it. He has to commit, because at the first sign of weakness those kids will be back in his bed. And everytime you start over it will be harder and harder to get them back out.