Confessed to DH about SKIDS
DH 43 - ME -33 SD17 SD11 BM:Passed
DH had an argument and I decided to leave for a week to my aunt's to reflect on how things have been going .
It's never thought it would be so hard to be a " StepMom" , I had never dated men with kids. Anyways while I was away I realized that I was so frustrated that I just could not be the person he expects me to be around his kids. I realised that I constantly feel guilty for I know I'm not the best stepmom for I know I can not be as naturing as a Mother for I dont have kids myself.
I realised that his daughters will never see me as a mother or even Stepmother for I'm younger than their Dad and they are pretty grown up ...SD17 is almost an adult although she is more clingy than the SD11.
I came back to the house and told DH straight from the heart.. " I don't expect your daughters to see me as a Mother o a Stepmother, I dont expect them to introduce me to their closest friends, I dont expect them to include me in any of their importants life events..I just want you to know I'M TOTALLY OK WITH THAT ! 
because ...deep inside I know..
I can't love them like if their were my own
I'm not here to make a huge impact in their lives , They are pretty much set on morals and beliefs..etc
I know there are days I just don;t want to do anything for them and I just don't.
I know I can lock myself up in my room whenever I dont want to see them..and you know what ...THAT IS OK TOO !
After telling DH about this He was a little unsettled, But I told him we need to be realistic..we can hope for a friendship. SD11 and I do have a little bond, she is smart and actually cared for me when I was sick..she makes sure I take my medicines etc.. SD17 is an annoyying firecracker who is inconsiderate and selfish..
DH Tells me to be paticient for SD17 is a teen who has a thyroid problem and her hormonoes go out of wack.. anyone heard about that ?
Now I approach SD11 as a friend..I'm more free to be me..We play Nintedo Wii and talk.. I threw away all that presurre of being naturing and a parent ..blah blah.. I just hang out with her and I'm blunt with my feelings towards her and she seems to like that ..I have open up. I can't do that with SD17 for she has mood issues so I just avoid her until she grows up a little more and matures.
That is a prefectly normal
That is a prefectly normal assessment after a period of "stepmom" life. The experts say the older the child is when you come into their life the longer it takes to have any type of bond develop with them. As you can also tell by this forum sometimes it is simply not possible to bond at all , which I strongly attribute to the BM with a bad attitude. Good Luck!
Thanks ,Yeah I came up with
Thanks ,Yeah I came up with that conclusion. I was dragging SD11 into my frustration with SD17. But I see that there is potential with SD11 . SD17 is way into her self and her needs nop..can't deal with her ..DH has a hard time with her and he does actually love her ..