does anyone else have this issue with SS9 ish?
My Skids are SD4, SD7, and SS9,
The SS9 acts like a baby a lot of the time. He gets up in the middle of meals to go hug his dad, I think this is just a ploy to try and get out of eat. He always says his food is too hot so his dad blows on it. I have purposely served him lukewarm food so that he would be able to eat it and he still said it was too hot and "da da" had to blow on it. He follows his dad around everywhere, and the minute my SO sits this kid is on his knee, or behind him with his arms around his neck. He still asks his "da da" for "uppies" and wants to be carried around. He acts more like a baby than the SD4. He only has this behaviour around his dad and it drives me crazy. I want to scream at my SO to quit babying this kid, but I know he would be hurt by this. I just really need to know if anybody else has these baby issues???
Wow, is he Special Needs? I
Wow, is he Special Needs? :? I thought I had it bad with my SS8. He wants to sit under my DH all the time. We can't hug or kiss without him trying to jump in the middle of us and join for a hug too. DH thinks he's just affectionate. I think he's just a spoiled attention hog. Lol But he's not using Baby words and definitely not getting his food blown. That's just weird!
You don't have to scream but you should say something to your husband about letting him act this way. Use the angle perhaps of he's going to mess with his development into a self-sufficient young man. He is too old to be saying 'Uppie'. He may need therapy for some kind of regressive behavior disorder. Dang. Anyway, at worse, your Husbands enabling of this may set up the expectation in SS9 that others should do that kind of thing for him too. Or worse, he'll get bullied in school because I can't imagine he goes from normal, tumbling little boy at school to saying "uppies" at home. DH can't argue with that because surely he doesn't want consequences like that for his son. Maybe that'll get through to him. Good luck!
He is not special needs, and
He is not special needs, and actually does very well in school and only acts this way around his father. I've seen him interact with other kids and he behaves appropriately for his age. I will say though that last night at his soccer game, he had to sit in his fathers lap every time he was off the field and then asked his father to carry him to the car. (he was not hurt or tired, just wanted "uppie" that really baffeled me because he usually acts normal around other kids. It's so frustrating.
That is very strange indeed.
That is very strange indeed. Uppie... wow. I don't know what to say to that. I'm glad I found this site. Seems no one is judging and anytime I've tried to share my story before, it's been judgment from those who aren't in this position. I sure hope your Husband realizes this is creepy-wrong soon and put a stop to it!
NO freakin way... if my SS9
NO freakin way... if my SS9 acted like that I would have to smack him in to next week. We cut off "dada" when SS went to kindergarden. He is "DAD". And if he ever asked DH to blow on his food, I would have to threaten to video tape it and show it to his friends. SS wuold be mortified if his buddies saw him acting like that. The most he does is sit in our lap, every once in a while.
There is something seriously WRONG with that behavior.
We have some similar issues
We have some similar issues with SD9. She does the hug things all the time. Very annoying to me. She has to sit right with him or on him, even if he is cuddling with me. The constant I love you, I missed you today is enough to make someone vomit.
I do not know why she does this, other than a ploy to seem more important to him than I am? My child never did this, and we never did this as kids either.
See... now my DD9 sounds like
See... now my DD9 sounds like this. She is very effectionate. She always wants to hold my hand, or sit in my lap. A million hugs a day, and countless kisses. She doesn't talk like a baby, she certainly does not ACT like a baby. She just loves to cuddle. I never think of it as weird because I know it is not manipulative, she isn't trying to be annoying, although sometimes she IS annoying. It is just who she is.
SD9 only does it with DH, not
SD9 only does it with DH, not with me. She literally will try to sit between us, and I absolutely dont allow that to happen. Its not so much her being affectionate with DH, its clinging to him, and its only when I am around.
That certainly seems
That certainly seems manipulative right there.
That drives me crazy! My
That drives me crazy! My SS13(14 next month) still asks his dad to scratch his back EVERY night! He follows him around, we go outside so DH can smoke and we can talk, then SS comes out there and DH will not ask him to leave (always me). SS throws tantrums and punched a window, wall, and kicks while whining like a 2 yr old. I feel your pain and it drives me nuts!!!
He also often tries to sit
He also often tries to sit between SO and I when we are sitting together, or at meals moves his chair closer to his dad's so he is practically in his lap. My SO can not even go upstairs to the bathroom without SD9 following him and waiting outside the door. As I've said he seems normal for his age in every other aspect. I don't know what drives this behaviour, but I hate that my SO feeds into it. Also He is the "golden child" that can do no wrong. I told SO that I saw him hit his SD4 the other day and that is why she was having hysterics, and his comment was "No he wouldn't hit, not him, it must have been SD7" I SAW him do it and I told him that I saw him. SS9 even admitted it to him and he still pretended that it didn't happen.
YES YES YES. SS7 does this.
YES YES YES.
SS7 does this. He will say dada and mami. He will talk in a baby voice. He will get up constantly and when DH tells him to sit back down in a more forceful tone - he will say he was just getting up to hug him (which is a lie). DH will feed him bites and cut his food up into tiny baby bites. SS7 will sit there with his mouth open asking to be fed.
A few times (wine involved) I couldn't hold my tongue and asked SS7 if he wanted a high chair like a real baby and a bib - I asked him if he thought his friends would act like that. i got the rath of DH on that one.
SS7 doesn't hug or try to kiss DH unless he is in trouble or DH isn't giving him the attention - like SS7 will continuously interrupt and if DH doesn't turn his attention fast enough, SS7 will pull on his arm and make kissing sounds which gets his attention.
This makes SS7 sound affectionate - he isn't - he is mean and a bully, he is violent and hits and bites others - its a manipulation technique and it works great - DH is sucked in every single time.
SS7 will make DH help him dress, tie his shoes, pick up his stuff, help him put his stuff away, feed him, get extra goodies by being a baby, get out of punishments, get out of scoldings, get out of pretty much everything, stay up late, you name it.
Makes me want to pop his head off sometimes that DH can't see it.
I'm starting to think that
I'm starting to think that this is a manipulation technique with SD9 as well. He does the I just wanted a hug thing, when he's told to sit and eat, when I get after him for interupting, when I say "excuse me, but I was sitting here" it's all "but I just wanted to give dada a hug" It's so annoying, and it's like he knows he can get away with anything when he goes crying to dada. I did give him a knife the other day to cut his steak and he just about had a shit, I can't cut my own meat I'm not allowed to use a knife. For crying out loud he's 9 years old. Needless to say his father cut his meat for him and yes, actually fed him the first 2 bites. It's so gross.
I hate to sound mean but I
I hate to sound mean but I would have to smack the sh** out of him when his dad is not looking. I would get him alone and scold his ass good, then I would tell your husband that you are trying to love his kid but can't because of his behaviour. That would drive me INSANE!!!! OMG
Yes, I deal with this. My SS
Yes, I deal with this. My SS is 10.5
Absolutely. SS9 also still
Absolutely. SS9 also still calls DH 'da-da', wants to be carried, follows him around EVERYWHERE...he won't even play with other kids. While my son and sd7 go outside and have a ball with other kids in the neighborhood, ss9 will follow us around asking 'da-da, what do you want to do now?' It seems SO WEIRD to me!!
SS11 went through that phase.
SS11 went through that phase. She's gotten a lot better, but I snapped at her when she did it.
They are too old to be acting like babies. It's ridiculous.
Definitely attention
Definitely attention seeking!!! How annoying!!! And how frustrating that your SO is indulging his behavior. My SS9 did some of that for a while, acting very clingy with my SO, especially if he saw his dad giving me any sort of attention, but my SO put a stop to that pretty quickly and told him that he had relationships which didn't involve his son. Now SS9 just pretends to squish my head between his fingers a la Kids in the Hall, so I can't say that we necessarily took the right steps...though I just happen to think that this child's purpose on earth is to drive me into an early grave.