SS needs braces and wants FDH to foot the bill
My FDH's 12 year old (going on 13) son needs braces. BM says she can't afford them, but she's on welfare and here in Canada, welfare bums seem to have good (if not better) health care benefits than us working people. I know that her coverage cover's her boys, yet she's barking at my FDH saying that the kid needs braces... well no sh*t he needs braces, do something about it!!!! Ugh! It frustrates me to no end. It's always something with her. My FDH doesn't want his kid growing up with bad teeth and is trying to save up $ to pay for it because she won't make the phone calls that she needs to make to have it covered!!! Me and my FDH are starting up a business and have very limited funds because of this (hopefully that will change soon). Once we start the business venture, he wants us to put our money together (because right now I only pay my bills and he pays his, which includes child support). He got mad at me when I told him that I didn't want to put our money together because I don't want to be paying thousands of dollars towards HIS kids. This isn't just a one time thing either. His ex is CONSTANTLY coming up with excuses as to why she needs MORE money!!! He's already paying the bitch more than he is required. I'll tell you one thing, if we do end up putting our money together, she's now going to have to deal with ME and I'm not the push over that my FDH is!!!! Has anyone else had to deal with this?!?!
Welfare in Canada does not
Welfare in Canada does not cover braces for children. It only covers regular check up etc and fillings. Where I live you can go to the University and have it done. It is about half the cost. Your DH's ex would need to set this up though as it is for people with limited incomes. This way you Dh would not need to spend quite as much money.
Really? I wasn't aware of
Really? I wasn't aware of that. She's also part of some tribe or band, don't they have good health care? I guess if there is no health care that covers it, my FDH is going to have to come up with 1/2 and she's going to have to come up with the other 1/2! It's just so frustrating how the dad is expected to pay for everything!!! There is no court order saying that he has to pay anything extra, but I'm sure she'd get it changed if he said no!
I sort of see two sides of
I sort of see two sides of this issue. While yes, the bm should check into any possible forms of assistance for the braces and not be too lazy to do the paperwork or whatever, the dad is still the dad and wanting to pay for the kid's braces is not a bad thing. It is his responsibility.
I never objected to paying for the skids' braces or whatever. DH giving them everything they WANTED was where I drew the line.
I understand that. I don't
I understand that. I don't mind him paying 1/2 for something that will impact the child's life! The little guy needs braces. But my FDH says that she can get them paid for, but just won't get the info. I just don't want to be putting our money together and have US (not just my FDH) foot the whole bill when she's doing NOTHING herself!!
I understand your resentment,
I understand your resentment, I truly do. Unfortunately, when it comes to the needs of the skids, sometimes we have to suck it up, take the high road, and do what's best for them.
I promise you, nobody can't stand their step son and his mother more than I can't stand mine - but whenever it came to his needs (clothing, health care, etc.) I never balked - even when it "wasn't fair" because bm wasn't doing her share or paying what she was supposed to pay.
You mean a native tribe/band
You mean a native tribe/band such as Native Americans? I honestly have no idea about that. I do know that if she is a "status" indian she would not pay taxes etc and her children would be entitled (possibly) to educational assistant for college or university, but I am not sure she would get any help for dental procedures. I can understand your frustration with BM being on social assistance and your FDH having to pay extra. I am not sure where in Canada you live but your FDH should have her check with a local university to see if they offer Orthodontist services or check into services for people with low incomes.
Yes, she is a status indian.
Yes, she is a status indian. It is very frustrating having both of us work full time and seeing her sit at home living it up without having to lift a finger. I've been with my FDH for 8 years now and I think that she had ONE job (for a month) that she got fired from, in those 8 years. Thanks for the info on the university, I'm going to have my FDH look into that.
Any Canadian government
Any Canadian government assistance to native Americans will not be a secret so anyone can find out if the kid is eligible via that route.
Within the tribe would probably be a different story and unless they're doing well with the casinos they probably can't afford braces for kids. Do Canadian natives have casinos?
Call her bluff. Have Dad tell her he's checked the budget and guess what "No Money". I'm sure there is a dentist who would take payments as the kid moves along. Just make sure the contract Daddy signs is only for 1/2.
I'm registered native. Tribal
I'm registered native. Tribal benefits vary from tribe to tribe. If she's registered, check out the tribe to see if there are dental benefits or monetary assistance to their members.
I have no idea what tribe
I have no idea what tribe she's with :? My FDH keeps telling her to call and inquire, but we never hear anything more. I don't know what to do to get her to find out. If there is no assistance for the SS's braces, my FDH will pay 1/2 no problem (other than financially). The kid does need braces and would help boost his self esteem. I hope that there's something *fingers crossed*
i smell a bitter bm.
i smell a bitter bm.
It sounds like you have his
It sounds like you have his best interest at heart, for sure! The thing that catches my eye, though, is combining your money. It's a catch-22.
If both of you pay your own bills and use the rest of your own monies to take care of what you each need/want, it will still come down to some of your money going where you wouldn't like it to. That's the boat I have been in since Dh and I got married. Sure, DH took care of SD18's medical bills, needs, wants, etc...but his unwillingness to ask BM to foot half of the court-ordered costs of all of this went unchecked. DH never, ever asked BM for anything.
Sounds noble, doesn't it? A caring father taking care of his daughter's needs...as SD18 got older, she had no chores, no responsibilities, no regard for her household, DH continued to give her what she wanted. At the expense of a night out with me, something (anything) for our daughter to do during the summer. And all because he used money that had been set aside for bills. He spent it on SD18. I took control of his debit card, pointed out where he needed to cut back so that we could meet our own financial goals. Instead, DH wanted to "give her a Senior year (of high school) that she'd never forget."
Please put a plan in writing that both of you agree to, before you join your money. Just know that whatever needs your SS has, if your FDH plans to take care of them, it will effect you. If you can't accept that, then don't put your money into one big pot! JMHO