Too much junk food and smoking may not be good for you but the crap you are going through with the skids is worse for you than the junk food or smoking. You seem very depressed, and rightly so. Counselling really helped me but I had to shop for the right therapist. What I found out in the end was that I really KNEW what the answer was, the therapist just helped me to see it. I am sure you really do too. If your DH is not supporting you he is as much to blame for the mess as the skids are.

Just take comfort in knowing that you are not alonoe in this race. I always thought my life was fine to until I married the man of my dreams. He has one child and she is the DEVIL. Sly devil I may add. Pretending that everything is peaches. I dont eat, I vent to my friends. I hate to put anyone in our drama but sometimes venting helps me instead of eating. I also keep a journal and when I really get pissed I always vent in it. I have for since 2006. I am on my third journal. I've been with him for 3 years and married for 3 months. Hopefully things will get better for you. I always say when SKids go bad, the BP can be the solution. It depends on what the problem is. Disengage and you will be alright. I didnt know what I felt when I woke up this morning and finally getting on here today gave me that word and it is working for me. Good luck to you.

Lady, I wish I had more time to respond - I need to get ready for work. The bottom line? I have never been happier in many ways. But...it has been HARD, HARD, HARD. I never want to be the poster child for "I left and now my life is all rainbows and sunshine."

The SAD part is - I left LATER -- kids are grown, skids are "grown". But, in trying to work it out with dh after I left, he clearly demonstrated that he would NEVER have an interest in putting US FIRST and helping his second son learn how to be independent and self-sufficient.

I was NEVER against HELPING the skid - but helping and enabling are entirely different things and handing him thousands of $$$ every year and enabling him to continue to be irrisposible is NOT helping.

Additionally, soooooooo much damage had been done over the years from different things that happened and the way dh handled them and the way him and his ex-wife (first of THREE other wives I might add) "parented."

To address your question - yes, I know what I did was right. That doesn't mean it was easy. It is SAD. I am sad for my (almost ex) dh. This is his fourth divorce. I am SAD for OUR son, who is 24 and just starting out in his own marriage (got married to a wonderful girl last summer) and life. I am SAD that it didn't work out.

It has been VERY stressful finacially. My household income decreased by 90% when I left. But I'm getting a handle on that - finally. Essentially, I am getting NOTHING in the divorce. I am actually LUCKY that it was agreed that we would each be responsible for our own debts. HE had over (hang on!) $70,000 in CREDIT CARD DEBT from helping the skid. He bought skid and his wife a HOUSE with OUR funds!! Skid whined and threatened to never speak to dh again if he didn't. He bought them a car. He pays some of their bills, finances all their Christmases, etc.

I have given him TONS of information on how skid could help himself. There is even a program here that will help people buy a house. You go to classes, you get FREE credit counseling and for every $1 you save toward a down payment the program GIVES YOU $4. But dh was "offended" that I would suggest that for skid, literally said "MY SON DOESN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH SOME PROGRAM LIKE THAT." Why not??? I would make OUR son do it.

Anyway...yeah...it was right for me. Absolutely. But healing is a process. Forgiving is a process. Please feel free to ask me anything. I am not opposed to sharing - just not much time right now. Off to work!!