This site saved my sanity!

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I am glad I am not the only person with 3 ungrateful, disrespectful grown steps. Mostly Sd takes the cake but 2 Ss giving all they can!
I found this site in March and have read just about every post and I am so glad I am not alone! When I realized his kids were HIS problem not mine things improved for me.
So many posts have helped me!

Welcome to the site! I

Welcome to the site! I remember when I first found this site, I felt like I found some of my sanity back. Finally a group of people who understood all of my frustration and pain.

I'm with you!!! Even though

I'm with you!!! Even though you may KNOW that you are not the only one, it makes a big difference when you read other posts and see it first hand.

Stay strong.

I love this site. It has

I love this site. It has helped me through huge amounts of issues. I also just enjoy some of the humor and mostly the validity!!

Once I realized I would be

Once I realized I would be better off keeping my mouth shut ut was a relief. Hopefully, poor dh will get tired of his kids walking all over him.

I thought I was evil before I

I thought I was evil before I found this site, now I know that are so many people who think like me and need to vent, it really is a God send

My sd is 20 and acts 14 She

My sd is 20 and acts 14 She is daddys little princess and truly believes the world revolves her. Told me one time she was "daddys princess forever ". I have 3 kids with the oldest being 24 and youngest 17 and the way I raised my kids totally different. We have known each other for over 20 years but only been married a little over a year. I have had my house taken over by ungrateful grownups who think they are still teens! I put my foot down and now they don't even speak to me! I keep my mouth shut and just watch and hope dh will one day put his foot down. They stay FAR away from me and that is the way I like it!

I know what you mean about

I know what you mean about "daddy's little princess." I've been married to dh for two years and all is delightful until sd needs him. I should have realized this when four years ago she told me that she didn't want him to have to choose between us. I didn't say anything to her at the time because it took me by surprise but I have since learned what she meant.

I asked dh what sd meant by that statement.He said that he had no idea and to ask her. I asked her several months later, wanting to tell her that he shouldn't have to choose because our relationships were entirely different. I barely asked her the question when she started sobbing. DH and her husband ran to her side and guess who ended up looking like $#*%? That's right, me and things have never been the same with her.

Even though she speaks to dh almost daily she has told others that she doesn't feel as close to him any longer. Not sure how much closer she wants to be but I can say that if he spoke to me as gently and with understanding as he does with her I would be on top of the world. Unfortunately, I get the backlash when she does something he doesn't like because he won't say anything harsh to her.

I try to stay strong but it gets harder and harder.

OMG you are living my life!!

OMG you are living my life!! There are times I have to laugh as daddys little princess has to have all the attention constantly. My children are younger but in soo many ways so much more mature, they actually look at me and say are they for real?? Unfortunately the couple of times I've snapped have not helped. I was soo relieved when both skids moved out although now they just constantly need daddy's help, ie. money. I just keep praying for the day that they grow up!!

Brace yourself in case it

Brace yourself in case it never happens, growing up I mean. SD and her husband decided they didn't want to be married any longer, after four children. Things got very messy and the drama was bigger than life. She could not afford to live in the house any longer so DH purchased it for her, his reasoning, she needed some place to live. I guess my logic that she find a more reasonably sized home was shot down. I can appreciate that DH wants to help but if children, regardless of their age, don't learn to be responsible then they will be enabled their entire lives we as parents do a terrible disservice to them.

I'm with y'all....I thought

I'm with y'all....I thought there was something wrong with me...even though I knew it wasn't me....it's THEM! Sheesh. Crazy-making stuff.

It saved my sanity too. I

It saved my sanity too. I went through similar crap to all of you for 20 years. This site has been a true blessing. I have been disengaged from narcissistic SD for a year and 1/2 but continue to visit every day in order to STAY disengaged with confidence! LOL

It doesn't take much to stay

It doesn't take much to stay disengaged! Haha

Just the THOUGHT of engaging

Just the THOUGHT of engaging makes me cringe!

If my sd was as *brilliant

If my sd was as *brilliant *as she thought she was people would go blind. :jawdrop: I love and adore my dh but I do not care if I EVER deal with any of them again. I really thought I was some evil and horrible person. This site and the stories have truly saved my sanity and my marriage.

I too thought I just had to

I too thought I just had to try harder to get them to like me. I think my lowest point was after some hate letters right when I was going through some heart issues which they were quite aware of. I had insomnia for about 3 months. I sat up crying and stewing every night for 3 months tryng to figure out what I did to make them hate me so bad. The counselor told me to STAY AWAY. I did but I didn't believe in what I was doing. I got a second opinion from the minister. Before I even opened my mouth as to why I was there, he told me, "because you breathe and their mother doesn't , those two hate you". He had witnessed what they were capable of. He too said to STAY AWAY from them. Well, I didn't believe him either but I listened and stayed away as did my DH. I found this sight this spring. Here, I was not alone and now I believe what the counselor and pastor told me because of all of you telling very similar stories. I wasted 10 years of my life and am still quite bitter about all the effort I put in to those girls. Our life is much more relaxed now but I still resent my hubby for not growing a spine. Gotta work on that!

Ditto. I feel like I'm

Ditto. I feel like I'm stepping out dripping wet from the step family family blender. It'll take awhile to get the ick off me (bitterness being part of that). Too much of my life was clouded by some people's projected hatred. The more I've been disengaged the further I get from bitterness. I also pray for them (not trying to push religion) sometimes, and this helps to stop the anger.

This site and reading

This site and reading Stepmonster, which was recommended here, opened my eyes to the abuse I was taking and why. It was the biggest "ah,ha" experience of my life! I'm so grateful to the people who post here.

I am going to get Stepmonster

I am going to get Stepmonster to read. I had my eyes opened just reading through stories on here. I had never even heard of disengaging but I know about it now! I was taking everything personally. Now I know I am the only person who can stand up for myself and I will forever more. I am married to my husband and I don't have to put up with spoiled adults!