I second mccoy.there is no need for a sitdown.this is not the Godfather trilogy.anything she has to say to you can be said via email.it's more organized,less stressful,and you'll have a record of whatever she says

Ok... Just to play devils advocate (because I think if she wants to talk it should be with their father, not you) but maybe she wants to create a better relationship in co-parenting. Maybe she thinks that if you guys have a coffee and chat about the kids you can have an open and communicative relationship.

Probably not and this is all a trap for her to dig something out to throw at you later... but maybe she is trying to be a grown up.

Not your place to communicate with her. Let her communicate with DH. Everytime we try on here we get burned. Learn from the rest of us who have tried only to have BM wage war on us.

OMG NEVER!! Especially not before mediation. Hell no, how does she even have your phone number??

Absolutely yes. Meet, greet, sit down, talk, do anything to make it better.
If it does not bring the desired results, you will have the satisfaction of knowing you have taken the high road and done your best to normalize things.

I am both a SM and a BM, and while vis-a-vis my step-kids BM things are very negative, i ( as a bio-mom to my two teens) have pulled off quite a coup over the Memorial Day weekend and after a confrontation with their SM made peace with her. We are now pretty much BFFs: friends on FB, text and email each other all the time, discuss our summer plans for the kids, problem-solve, etc.
It is MUCH better and i feel like i have really accomplished something very significant.

It's worth a try.

Ignore.

Shit NO.

Do NOT GIVE IN. YOU WILL REGRET IT.

Don't meet if there are any on going legal dealings. She could very well be looking for something to give her an advantage in the negotiations.
If everything is settled legally and she still wants to talk. Then give it a shot but have your wits about you.

BM sent me a rude email about a month ago that upset both DH and I. DH dealt with it and then told BH she owed me an apology. The emails between us didn't go well and we decided to talk. It went pretty well. I got an opportunity to tell her things she's done that I didn't like and told her my expectations of her in different situations. We came to an agreement. She made excuses for some things and said she'd tried others. I don't have a lot of confidence in that but it did feel good to have to opportunity to explain that certain things she's done has affected DH and I negatively and if she would like an amicable relationship (which we all agree would be best for SD5) she has to start thinking about how her actions affect us.
Time will tell if things get better but for now it was nice to release the negative thoughts.

Take it at face value. She initiated it. If it goes sour you can get up and walk away. Don't prejudge her.

I agree with the others. She doesn't get to tell you how to parent or behave in your home. Entertaining her request will lead her to believe she has any kind of say in what happens in your home.

If she has concerns regarding parenting, she can discuss them with your DH...their other parent.

I guarantee you, she has not gotten anything out of her system. This would just give her opportunity to "put you in your place".

Based on my own experiences with a BM, I also agree with everybody's advice to ignore her. It sounds like she could be wanting to be a part of your household and by talking to her she might consider that an open invitation. Her foot would definitely be in the door and you'll have a heck of a time getting her out. You don't need the added stress of her being a part of your life. If you do talk to her, I would suggest being prepared to establish some very clear boundaries with her up front.