The biggest predictor of 2nd marriage happiness...

Forums:

...is NOT the SM! Her maturity level, ability to love, be a good wife, etc.

According to my intensive study of the topic, aka as Steptalk, problems with blended families are entirely due to:

1) crazy BMs
2) selfish, spoiled and/or anti-social SKs
3) ball-less DHs with guilty daddy or selfish syndrome
4) combo of the above, the full trifecta

I cannot believe some the things SMs have to put up with! And that there are so many crazy BMs out there.

Sadly, if the family courts

Sadly, if the family courts held these crazy mothers to a standard and put strong court orders in place and doled out actual punishment for violations of those orders, a lot of the crazy BM shit would stop and fathers would not be so afraid of losing their children and the entire dynamic would change. Children of divorce wouldn't grow into entitled selfish adults unable or unwilling to contribute to society (I'm generalizing, there are plenty of children who are from divorced families who do great)and less children (children of second families) would be children of divorce.

I'm living proof. SD's BM was/is loonier than a traquil lake in New England on crisp morning. She made a strong effort to alienate the hell out of her kid and tried to control everything - right down to the kind of cereal we kept in our house. SD has an entitled attitude and thinks the earth revolves around her. Difference in my situation? DH kicked the shit out of her in court. Our attorney insisted on a court order that left nothing open to interpretation and took her to court for her first contempt (which the court punished her for). And with that CO in place, dh got the confidence to tell BM to pound sound and to appropriate discipline her kid when she acts like a dope.

Fortunately for me, dh and I

Fortunately for me, dh and I started dating very shortly after he left her. I set the terms for us working out very early on. I stayed with him through hell and helped financially so he can fight and he recognizes he owes it to me to hold her feet to the fire and make his kid respect me. He wouldn't have 50/50 custody if it weren't for me. That relationship would have been over long, long ago if I had not helped him. So, in return, his balls stay firmly between his legs.

Sad but true, I've bent over

Sad but true, I've bent over backwards to fit in, no one could have made more effort than me, now because I could'nt baby sit for Sd6 once I am an evil cow, according to Bm and her family, needless to say I will never help her again, my Bf guilt parents and it makes me want to puke, oh if only I could have seen into the future.

Heck, it's funny because so

Heck, it's funny because so many studies also talk about the stress of having kids, yet when it comes to divorce, most claim it's NEVER the kid's fault... lol

Yeah, the stress of having

Yeah, the stress of having YOUR OWN KIDS is one thing....BUT the stress of SOMEONE ELSES rude, ungrateful, spoiled, selfish, ill-mannered, entitled brats is what causes the problems! Again IMHO

So damn true!!!!!!!!!!!!! You

So damn true!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit the nail on the head Sister!!!!

No matter how "great" a (2nd) wife you are, understanding, loyal, loving, etc. it doesnt matter...its the skids, bm and/or the moronic dh/so that ruin everything...IMHO!

oh great, my stepkid lacks

oh great, my stepkid lacks most social graces (autistic), dad totally has guilty daddy syndrome cuz the kid has no mother....don't have the crazy baby momma though, cuz she's rarely ever seen or heard from! they say 2 out of 3 aint bad...I beg to differ, LOL....at least I'll always have my wine to keep me sane!

Romanticize until its too late a big happy family.

I'd like to add one

I'd like to add one more...Crazy Mother iN Laws who favor the BM.

Now we've covered all the reasons I refuse to marry...

Or Crazy Former MILs who

Or Crazy Former MILs who won't accept that their formers SIL has remarried on for those w/ deceased BMs