Ahh that is lovely to hear, I whole heartedly agree with you, I love my Sd6 and she loves me, at the end of the day blood means nothing its the person who loves a child "like" a parent

Thank you for sharing. This also brought tears to my eyes. I know that others here feel the exact same way bc I do, too.

..... at the end of the day, regardless of all the crazy, frustrating and annoying crap that goes on, we still love those crazy kids that make our lives heck. That is what being a parent is all about not about a blood tie.

I often tell my bf that if I didn't care I wouldn't bother.

It makes you a better dad because you didn't have to be. You chose to have those particular children in your life, and that is the best! Thank you for sharing

That's wonderful...I am truly happy for you. I think that many fathers and BMs DEMAND that we love their kids...the fact that nobody DEMANDED that from you might have made it easier to go with the flow and love them on your own terms.

You have a good situation. I've dated men and loved their kids and got along well with their Mothers. I assumed it'd be the same when I became a stepmom. It's not and I don't feel the way you do right now though I understand how you feel as I have felt it before. It's a nice feeling. I hope to have it again one day!

You are not alone. My kids do not call my husband "dad" but my son says his father is his father, his step-dad is dad... when he answers questions from friends, like, "what does your dad do for a living?" he says he answers with what stepdad does without even explaining that he is step...because that is dad...so no, you do not need blood to be a dad. thanks for sharing

perfectly said ...... step parents do not have to be replacement parents to the kids . but they will fill that role in their lives just the same . the kids will treat you just the same as well . i do disagree with you on one point . i would be confident in guessing that contrary to what you said can not walk away from the kids . you are not their father , and they are not your kids , but you fill the roles for each other just the same . they asked you to love them and give them what their father took away . when you accepted , you asked them to trust you , believe in you , and be for you the kids that you never got to have . i would be confident guessing that they couldnt walk away from you either ...........

Very nicely said and absolutely correct in my opinion and experience.

Being a parent has little to nothing to do with biology. A parent is an example, a mentor, an advocate, a confidante and a disciplinarian. Far too many bio parents in blended family situations have the perspective that as SParents we could never know the true feelings of a parent or what it is to be a REAL parent.

If that were the case then adoptive parents are something less than a REAL parent. That is of course completely erroneous.

It sounds to me that your daughters are all navigating the path to viable adulthood quite successfully. Not without some difficult learning experiences but successfully none the less. Your 19yo sounds much like my 20yo SS. Similar academic performance issues. Tests off of the charts in aptitude but gets bored easily. My favorite moment with him as we navigated together as a family his road to launching was when he bombed the first semester if his Sr. year of HS at a top 20 boarding school where he had previously been an honor student and award winning Cadet leader.

Kid - Dad, you and mom know I can do it, my teachers know I can do it; I know I can do it so why do I have to do it?

He absolutely loved the boarding school. However, we yanked him out of the boarding school at Christmas break and brought him home to attend our local high school. He knew no one. We had moved shortly after he started at the Military School. We also let him know that he either graduated on time (1 more semester) or we dropped him off at the Philadelphia homeless camp under I-95 on graduation day. I took him up to the camp to see it and meet some of the residents during that winter. So, in one semester he did a year and a half worth of work. At the boarding school he only needed two English credits for his entire Sr. year. At home in DE he had to the English credits, two career focused credits, a math credit and the Sr. project which is actually started mid year of the Jr. year.

He graduated on time with honors. After the boarding school experience he decided to postpone his University studies and joined the USAF. His ASVABs were ridiculously high and he was put in a techno geek super secret program that he can't tell us about. To get the job he had to sign up for 6 years. 2 of which is total training focused, two of which is a combination of job and study and the last two are all job. Talk about parental revenge. He has finished his first 2 years and is now studying towards his BSCS. He is on track to finish his BS in year 5.

I hope your 19yo has a similar experience.

Great job and attitude .... Dad. Your young ladies are lucky to have you as you are to have them.

Sincerely,

Glad to hear that you are one of the rare "success stories." Don't see too many of those.

I love my wife, and would still have married her, but if I knew then what I know now, I would never have attempted to have any relationship with her kids. Just too much heartache, frustration, and wasted time, money, and energy.