Anyone dislike step grandkids?
I'm new on this forum and not all that familiar w/ forums. I'm a good mom and wife and even like my grown stepsons,but hate one of the stepgrandsons. Does anyone else have a situation like this? I have so tried to be grandmotherly to this 4yr old, but I seem to dislike him more and more. I'm sure my feelings are starting to show. He is so rude and disrespectful and he just gets worse. This child has whamed me in the breast and will walk up to his grandpa and wham him in his private area or just kick him. He brings a rubber dart gun and shoots at my pets. He climbs all over my furniture,all while his father,my stepson looks on. My husband feels so sorry for this brat saying because "everyone tells him he is a bad boy and we should make an effort to fuss over him". What does my dear husband think...I mean this kid really is a bad seed and at only 4yrs old. I truely believe he will continue to get worse. His mother wanted desperately to have a baby only to trap my Stepson into marriage(she told me this herself). Well the marriage never happened and she moved out when he was 2, thank God! This child is with his dad 5days and w/ his mother 2days a week...if this tells you anything.She makes every excuse imaginable,most of them we find out they are lies,to not have to be with her child. Unfortunately my stepson and his hild live next door. I can't bear seeing this brat come walking into my house like he's some kind of bigshot and disrupt things. God know I've tried !
OMG some of the stories on
OMG some of the stories on this forum!! And I used to think that being a stepmom sounded sooo fun. NOT!!! I'm so glad I found this place!!
Ok, to the OP, I don't blame you for having ill feelings toward you stepGS. He has some major issues that I feel need a diagnosis! Has he been seen by a child specialist? They say if a child is abusive to animals, LOOK OUT when they become teens/adults because statistics show that these kids grow up as CRAZY adults who commit some serious crimes.
Raindrop, I have subtly
Raindrop, I have subtly suggested that there was a problem and that his behavior should be nipped in the bud but again I'm nobody but the stepgrandmother. I also truely believe that our future criminals start out as animal abusers. I got to tell you his mother is a sociopath. When she lived next door w/ SS she just had to have this little beagle, then she picked up an older stray beagle.No one was ever around to take care of her animals so of course they releaved themselves in the house. So then she had SS put up a little outside pen and here she kept these poor animals.It gets worse. After she had the SGS she had no time even to feed the dogs.She just let them loose and I remember a neighbor stopped up w/ one dog in tow thinking the poor thing just got loose.I told the neighbor "oh dear, Snoopy must have gotten out of the pen". So neighbor brings the dog next door and she tells him "Oh no it's not my dog." So I think SGS may be just like his mother in many ways.For his 4th Birthday he asked for a kitten...SS went out and got him a 3yr old cat(even though I suggested he wait till the kid was older).That was last month....that cat has been in hiding from day one....he comes out only at night and when no one is at home....Smartest cat I've ever seen!
Thank you so much for the
Thank you so much for the post.I would love to paddle his little butt. My college aged BD is home for spring break and even told my husband (her SD)after this brat left our house at like 9:30pm on a school nite how this kid is OOC! Like she says she & my BS never ever acted like this...because they got paddled just once and that was all it took. Not saying they were angels but they didn't act like animals.
I usually take this one by his hand,lead him into the kitchen, sit him up on a kitchen counter squish his little cheeks together so he had to look me in the eye and tell him to behave(I did this just last week when he came in & kept sticking his tongue out at me). So he promised to behave at that point,but needless to say in he came last nite and proceeded to stick his tongue out. I could never paddle his butt, because I hate the brat so much now, I'm better off not touching him.The other reason" I'm only the stepgrandma" I would love for his father to crack the lil bugger and my DH says he does, but I've never seen it.
My DH once told me his son never spanked the kid because he was afraid the kid wouldn't like him...Can you believe that. Well I'm ever so happy to have found this forum and now I have a place to vent.
You know I was feeling so guilty about how I felt. I'm a school teacher and in all my years have never disliked a child til.this kid came on the scene. My other SS also has a little boy and he is a real sweetheart. How can they be sharing the same genes.
I feel your pain....SD24 has
I feel your pain....SD24 has spawned twice. The oldest one is 4 and getting out of control. Last time I saw her she came up to me and did that thing where they look up under you to make SURE you see them and then just had the craziest look in her eyes. Kind of scary. She's also already got that "entitlement" thing going. The other one is still a baby...but there's plenty of time to corrupt her. SD has NO parenting skills. There is no way anyone there is setting a good, moral example for these kids. It's going to be DH's kids all over again. Kind of glad I disengaged when I did because I 'dissed 4 for the price of 1!
I know what you mean about
I know what you mean about the sgkids. I love em, but when they come to my house I'm the boss. I wouldn't ever think to have DH, the grandfather, deal with them. I wouldn't spank them, but they get a nice loooong time out. I never have ANY trouble with them now and really enjoy them. It's your house, do what you would if they were your kids kids.
I'm fairly sure there will be
I'm fairly sure there will be no marriage for this SS. He has had so many GFs in the past 2yrs and they all run when they meet the little darling. There was one we really liked, she had a very well behaved son of her own (hell her dog was even better behaved). It was maybe the 3rd weekend he was here when she was and every time he was told to behave or do something he would pull the fainting goat act! No kidding, he would just keel over, it was the funniest thing I ever saw.Of course SS made a big deal about it and that's just what the lil bugger wanted!
I tried telling him to do something the next time he came over to my house, but it didn't work....I would have left the little bastard oops I mean boy laying on the floor.
I'm real glad I found this site it is giving me the courage to face the SS and the SGS with my rules...the worst(or best) that can come out of this is they will stay home.
Um, you need to put the fear
Um, you need to put the fear of hell in the child. Get down to his level and whisper in his ear "If you do that again no one will find you for months." or "If you hit my husband one more time I will be taking you outside for a lesson you will NOT forget."
And when he actually is tolerable reward him with 4 M&Ms. Make this just something you do. Not your husband or his father. Just you. And develop The Look so when he knows he is veering into Danger country he will look at you and realise he is in deep shit.
And when your DH tells you how mean you are or to cut him some slack tell him this ..."OK, let's take him to meet your boss and see how that goes down. Because if your job depended on your grandson's behaviour you would be unemployable. HE is presently a social disaster. Time for someone to man up. Sadly, that appears to be me."
Remove the dart gun, and set
Remove the dart gun, and set your standards in your home, too bad who does or doesn't like it. If SS isn't happy that you refuse to have your breasts or your husbands private area thumped by his 4 year old too bad. But I would as the other poster said put the fear of God into this child, God in the mortal form of grandma can be pretty powerful. REFUSE to put up with it no matter what your husband, ss or grandson think, this is plain stupid and you know it. By the way it is not your Step Grandson you don't like it is his appalling behaviour, make that clear.
If this child's father wants a four year old to run his home and his life, fine his choice. But really, how long are you going to let the four year old run your home, your life and your husbands life, before you take some responsibility for this. After all it is happening in your home.
I don't think the kid is a bad seed, I think he does not have one responsible adult in his life who is teaching him right from wrong. Shame, because not only will you not like him, no one will and it is not his fault, it is the fault of the adults around him who fail to teach him how to behave, and allow him to continue with this behaviour. He would hit me in the breast once, and if he hit my husband in his privates, well he would only do that once too.
As far as leaving your house at 9:30 on a school night, who's fault is that. Whoever was responsible for him that night, you, your DH or his father is responsible for that, if dad was there, he should have taken the child home, if you and DH were minding him, he should have been put to bed and stayed the night, but seemingly no one cared enough to do that, but everyone had an opinion after the fact.
I feel very sorry for this child no one loves him enough to discipline him.
Tactfully tell your stepson
Tactfully tell your stepson that while you appreciate the visits, you also need to protect your home and the things that are in it, pets, furniture, etc. Maybe ask if the dartgun and the other weapons can stay home next time?
Stepmomfromhell....calm down.
Yes, put some sensible rules
Yes, put some sensible rules in place for when the boy visits and limit your time to short visits. It doesn't have to be 'all or nothing'. Could be you might be able to inject some much needed love-attention to the child and help save him from being an even worse terror down the road. You could make a project out of seeing the boy for 20 minutes, involving him in some art or games and telling him what a good boy he is. Under the bratty boy IS a good boy just waiting to be recognized. BUT it is okay to put limits in and around the whole situation to protect yourself and not overly stress out !
My son married a woman who
My son married a woman who already had 4 Teenage daughtersand she cannot have any more kids. He only knew the woman about 2 months before marrying her. Needless to say, he did not even invite me to the Wedding. So, I was expected to jsut automatically say these strange girls that I never met are my Grandkids. I cannot and would not do it...afterall..I do not know them, they have no use for me and I never understood the concept of being forced to accept strange kids as Grandkids...The girls all all grown up now and all my son talks about are these girls and their kids, while he never phones me, nor do I see him except on Holidays.