Do you let your kids/skids play whatever they want, or do you enforce age appropriate activities?
My SS10 is extremely immature. So much so that my 3 yr old BS has already supassed him in a lot of ways. Given the choice of playing with his age mates, or with BS3 and his friends.... More often than not he will play with the toddlers. At daycare all the school aged kids are together, and he plays with the kindergarteners and the first graders a lot.
At home he plays with Bs's toys a lot, and gets VERY excited to play "baby games'. And by baby games, I mean like rolling around under blankets, crawling around pretending to be a puppy, ect.
I've been trying to encourage him gently to stop and engage in more age appropriate things, but I really want to start telling him he need to act his age, that he's not 2 anymore. I am expecting another little boy in two weeks, so we will have toddler toys in our home for along time. I have this horrible vision of SS being like 15 and still playing with Little Tykes toys, and watching preschool shows.
Do you let your kids play however they want, or do you insist they act their ages?
But do they play age
But do they play age appropriate games because thats all you have in your house (all yours are close in age), or because that's what they would want anyways. The toys in our house range all the way down to infant toys. If I only had the skids it would be easy, id just get rid of the toys that weren't age appropriate anymore.
Is it normal for a 10 yr old to sit and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Wonderpets? I don't think he would ever put it on himself, but he will sit and watch preschool shows when they are on instead of finding something else to do, or watching something else in his room.
BM is not in the picture, we
BM is not in the picture, we have them all full time. He has adhd, which is associated with immaturity. He's always been on the immature side, we've been hearing it from his teachers since pre-K. But it seems like the gap between where his is and where he should be just keeps getting bigger.
Having BS has def made it more noticable because he now has access to all the little kid stuff 24/7. Probably wouldn't be as noticable otherwise.
But even watching him play, if you ignored his size, you would think he was younger than BS if you just looked at their behavior and how they were playing with the toys.
Part of.me things it would be better in the long right to just put my foot down and say he can't play with the babies' toys, and make him learn to act appropriately. But then he has issues making and keeping friends already, so I don't want to basically be telling him he cant be friends with or play with his brothers either.
I don't have kids of my own,
I don't have kids of my own, but growing up, we just played what we wanted to play. It may be that your SS has more energy than he's able to work out while he's at school or something & he just needs the release he can get from rolling/crawling around on the floor.
Do you or your DH try to engage in more age-appropriate games/activities with him? Maybe if someone will offer to participate with him he'd learn to enjoy things that are geared toward his age group...?
ETA: Honestly, if he's finding a way to keep himself entertained, I wouldn't worry about it.
I try to engage him in age
I try to engage him in age appropriate stuff, but he really doesn't seem interested for the most part. I almost have to force him. The only thing he plays with of his own toys are legos. But even with those, he will build them, but he won't do anything with it after that. No playing with the finished piece, no free form building..... And legos are really expensive to be buying him new sets every week.
He has a room full of toys/games/activities/sports equipment that he says he wants. But he never uses it. He goes to BS's toy bin in the other room.
Oh my goodness my SS11 is the
Oh my goodness my SS11 is the same way! Our neighbor is his age, and in his class at school, but does SS play with the other 11 year old boy. NOOOOOO he plays with with the younger brother who's 7. He also makes truck noises, and dive bombing noises, and plays with stuffed animals. I recently banned all stuffed animals from going to school. The boy was getting picked on at school for it, but he still wanted to take one on Friday's! I always thought it was his ADHD playing into his immature ways. I mean it's not harming anything to play and watch little kids movies. I just try to shake it off that's how he is and he will grow up eventually. I mean I don't figure he will be 25 and watching Wonder Pets and Blues Clues on his own, but then again who knows!
They play what they want to
They play what they want to play.
And I did the same as a kid.
Really, being a child involves a lot of creativity. I'm sure a day will come when you're glad he's doing these things instead of other less appealing things.
Besides, if you "force" what you consider age appropriate, it isn't really "playing..."
FSD10 plays with toddlers
FSD10 plays with toddlers when we take her to the park. She has birthday parties for herself with her baby dolls (and daddy). She has daddy play piggies on her toes and the wii is filled with pre-school games. She doesn't have left from right down yet (at our house at least) and tells daddy she needs help with zippers. She can't make a pigtail for herself or dry her hair. She can't tell time. She can't turn lights on and off, open door handles or windows. She loses everything and doesn't remember where she puts things... She recently put her DS in her laundry basket wrapped in a towel and it went through the wash. I could go on and on.
Obviously this kid does fine at school bc she's getting A and B grades. Her mother doesn't coddle her in the least. But BM isn't a brain trust as we found out she locks her daughter in her house from the outside when BM Goes to the gym.
It's all what BF allows in his house and her knowing what she can get away with at his house.
And now she wants a cell phone.
You all want to know what
You all want to know what SD8's favorite toy is?? A friggan bubble mower!! The kind that you pretent to mow the grass and it shoots bubbles everywhere! I looked at one at Walmart the other day and the age range was 18 mth and up!! When Snatchquatch (BM) up and moved to Florida recently, we have accumulated TONS of toys that she shouldnt still be playing with at her age. Barbie dolls, stuffed animals (OK, I can see some stuffed animals), playschool toys, learn to spell and count games, and a crap load of clothes that look like a 3 or 4 year old should be wearing (style-wise) not an 8 year old. I tried going through it all but everytime I ask her to toss or donate a toy or a piece of clothing, she goes balistic! She wont get rid of anything! Anyone else have a baby toy/clothes hoarder? I am still going through all the boxes of stuff and I am wondering what else I am going to find in them.
Katie
On what planet should an 8 yr
On what planet should an 8 yr old not be playing with Barbies?! You might need to check your expectations.
Barbies at age 8 sounds
Barbies at age 8 sounds absolutely normal. :?
Sorry, I didnt mean the
Sorry, I didnt mean the Barbies were inapropriate, they were just some of the things that came over from BM's house. Yes, like the Barbies, there ARE some toys that are age appropriate but 95% isnt....espeically the bubble mower.
Katie
I have blogged before about
I have blogged before about my ss14's immaturity before. How he takes the "kids" program at church and plays connect the dots while all the other 14 year olds are listening to the sermon. Dh's take is to let him do stuff like this as he is not hurting anyone. I disagree. He is not hurting anyone else but he is hurting himself. He has few friends because he is so immature. He likes to skip around the house. He seems to have no ability to control himself or his emotions. He will also roll around on the floor as well. We have only recently left him alone with the other kids in the house even for a short time-although I've left my 10 year old home alone for short periods of time. He is truly more immature than my 10 year old. And for him-he also looks like he is 9 or 10 because he is so small for his age.
Thankfully we have no toddler toys-as my ss would probably play with them. He plays with balls alot. Seriously. Just plastic blow up balls or whatnot-he likes to bounce them on the floor, throw them against the wall, etc
I am afraid what kind of toys
I am afraid what kind of toys or clothes I will find in the boxes that came from BM's house! If SD8 had the oportunity to play with baby/toddler toys, she would in a heartbeat. I cant believe her favorite toy is a bubble mower made for toddlers! Oh...in one of the boxes I have already gone through were baby utensils! YES...baby forks and spoons and plates and sippy cups! They should of been gone A LONG time ago!
Katie
The examples you give for
The examples you give for what your ss does are not examples of immaturity. The fact that he plays with toddlers actually shows maturity. When do you ever see a 10 yr old giving attention to little ones?
What you are expecting is for him to play with kids his own age, because that is what you send him to school to get programmed for. He doesn't fit that mold, so you are perplexed. Has it occurred to you that he doesn't enjoy playing with kids his age because he has figured out the pecking order and doesn't like his place in it? "Socialization" with same age kids is HORRIBLE. Kids who can play with younger or older are actually much better off. Many kids don't know what to do with younger kids because they are socially stunted.
As far as the way he plays, I can tell you that I have a very intelligent son who just turned 11 and I have NEVER considered him immature. He does the same kind of things. He likes to play "penguin" because it's his favorite animal. And also because it cracks us up because it's hilarious. He has NUMEROUS stuffed animals, loves building with legos, and will even play Barbies with his younger sister. He is very well rounded and likeable by all ages. He does play video/computer games above his age and plays every sport you can imagine. But the way he plays is his imagination. Your ss is also using his imagination. You might see him playing with a baby toy, but you don't see what's going on in his brain while he does it. Just because it's a baby toy doesn't mean there's a problem. It means he has access to baby toys...
When my kids were little, my sd would do the same thing. She WAS very immature. But IMO, the two have nothing to do with each other. She now works as a babysitter and apparently does a great job, as it's helping pay for college.
I'm alarmed at some of the posters on here. Let the kids play with toys and be glad that they are playing with toys rather than getting into trouble. I agree with knucklehead above!
I guess it would depend on
I guess it would depend on HOW they are playing with toddlers. My 14 year old dd babysits and of course "plays" with the toddlers and children while she is babysitting. My 14 year old ss will "play" with much younger children and bully them, and argue with them about toys. He is not kindly giving attention to younger kids, nor being responsible for them, he is playing with someone much smaller that he likes to boss around and bully.
It's not so much that he
It's not so much that he plays "with" bs3, but he more plays next to him using his toys, or he just plays with the toys. It's more like BS is his excuse to act like a toddler.
How he acts when he plays with the little kids at daycare, I'm not sure.
SD8 is like that. If we're
SD8 is like that. If we're out and she has the choice to play with the little ones or play with kids her own age, she'll play with the little ones. She'll alternate between pretending like she's a toddler, and being bossy and domineering with the little ones. The older kids won't take her bullshit so she will accuse them of bullying and then come crying to us like a 3 year old. At home, she has plenty of age appropriate toys, yet she chooses to play with the baby's toys and read baby books. And it's not to play with the baby; she just helps herself to his toys and seems to genuinely enjoy playing with them. Fucking moron. She's even started watching baby programmes like In the Night Garden and Peppa Pig on her Netflix account.