Very upsetting news...do any of you have any bio or step kids in an emotional support classroom in school?
For those here who dont know me, 3 yrs ago, my son's biodad stabbed me 11 times in front of our children, in an obvious attempted homicide. After a year of being out on bail and on house arrest, he was given a sentence of 7-20 yrs in PA state prison. Obvious emotional issues being had by all of us.
My youngest son was 3 when the incident happened. He is a very, very, very shy kid, very unsure of himself but of average intelligence based on the reports. Just got his evaluation report and there is a spot in it at the end that says:
bs6 is currently in need of emotional support to address his symptoms of depression and anxiety....
I think this means they are going to recommend that he be placed in the emotional support classroom, which is NOT located in my neighborhood school, which would mean he'd have to be bussed to school, away from his brothers, not in class with his friends from kindergarten, etc.
Needless to say i'm devastated 
I do not want him placed in that classroom, but I want to hear from other parents who's kids might be in a classroom like that and maybe have had good experiences????
I know my legal rights enable me to say NO to that placement if I want to, and i'm torn, not sure what to do!!!
Don't do it. But, do get him
Don't do it. But, do get him some type of other help privately. He obviously needs some help. You are his mom, you have to get it for him, if you are not willing to do what the school is recommending.
he's already in therapy, he's
he's already in therapy, he's been going for awhile!
You can say no to that
You can say no to that placement! I am a special needs teacher.... send me a private message, and I can give you more information.
I definitely would not agree to self contained placement under any circumstance. There are other options.
I just inboxed you
I just inboxed you
I didn't see a message.
I didn't see a message.
hmmm, i thought i did, lemme
hmmm, i thought i did, lemme try again!
no threats to other kids, no
no threats to other kids, no violence towards others, well, he does fight with his brothers, but well within the normal range
I'm not a BM but I do have a
I'm not a BM but I do have a SD who does attend such classes. She told me that she hates it, wishes she did not have to go to it, other kids make fun of her, & that it makes her feel stupid. I would listen to your sons thoughts on it but look into further options before you allow him to be placed anywhere.
Def discuss this with your
Def discuss this with your sons therapist before you agree to anything. This sounds like its in the schools best interest, not your sons.
Here's information from an
Here's information from an insider, cause I'm sure you're not in my school:
- Just because the one sentence is in there doesn't mean they'll offer a special class. A kid has to be negatively affected academically to receive special services. Sometimes, psychologists include recommendations that don't require a special class.
- emotional support for depression and anxiety can be provided without a special class
- Schools very rarely communicate with therapists, unless the parent insists. You should insist. However, be prepared to pay the hourly rate for the therapist. Most charge for these types of consultations.
- Teachers are not trained in and cannot effectively use therapeutic techniques. Unless, like me, they are trained in both fields.
- There are different levels of intervention. They are obligated by law to use the least restrictive interventions. They can start with itinerant support if at all, but I would need to know a lot more before I could give any specific recommendations. But I can make you aware of options that are "out of the box" that the school may not tell you about.
- Peanut is right... sometimes these decisions can be about what is best for the school. Many times, when a school finds a kid "emotionally disabled" it means the kid has problems they can't explain and don't know what to do about.
- Very few kids who get placed in self contained emotional support classes will be able to graduate high school.
I will be happy to discuss details of your situation with you. If I get a clear picture of the reason the school thinks he may need help, I may be able to give you things to do at home that would prevent or accommodate for the issues at school.
He often just 'shuts down' in
He often just 'shuts down' in school. if he thinks something is too overwhelming for him, he will just not even try it, fear that he can't do it so he won't even try. when he shuts down he won't speak, puts his head down, etc. again, VERY shy, if you came to my house right now and took him one on one, the only real communication you'd get from him would be answers to DIRECT questions. he's shy. At home, his socialization skills with neighborhood kids, etc. are totally fine. he plays tball with other kids FINE. He struggles in the academic environment. he's scared to make a mistake i guess, although i have no idea why, i tell my kids all the time they aren't expected to be perfect.
My other son is also diagnosed 'emotional disturbance' and he's in gen ed classes and goes to the sped classroom for math, which he struggles with.
I was a painfully shy kid at
I was a painfully shy kid at that age, too, and my parents were worried. I wouldn't ever talk around adults and I was petrified at school. Later, with a psychologist I discovered the reason for my quietness: my parents were really unhappy and therefore my family was really isolated, so I was never able to watch them and practice socializing or try to compete in a safe environment.
I know this is not exactly the same situation your son is in, but it would have helped me if my parents had kept lots of friends and family around and scheduled regular game nights and challenges (situations where your kids can fail and you can praise them for their effort anyway.)
Maybe this helps a little..
You may want to look at group
You may want to look at group therapy for kids with social issues. Worked well for SS13....They played a lot of games to teach them how to interact.
It sounds like he may just
It sounds like he may just need weekly meetings with the school counselor. Definitely inquire. Although your son has gone through something tragic, it's possible he would be this way even if he didn't. His temperament came with him at birth, and you just have to learn to work with it. My son was a lot like yours. He was a high needs baby and very anxious as he got older. Definitely shy. Why he isn't now, is because at a very young age I began getting him out to new things, meeting new people, trying stuff. But I always had to stay in the room or nearby for the first week or so until he felt comfortable. If he didn't know what was going to happen next, he would get really worried, especially if he was dealing with new people. I have homeschooled him almost his entire 6 years of school. That helped a LOT. Kids like him who are with others all day can get REALLY anxious and even worse. Having been a teacher and also a special ed para, I can tell you that school is not a great place for kids like him. I know there's nothing you can do about that, but you can have conversations about it with him and talk about things that happen at school. It would help him if he knew you understood how he feels at school. You can give him tools to feel more secure. I would give my son something like a rock in his pocket, that he could remember whenever he felt it, that I was thinking about him and would see him later, etc. My son also doesn't like to be wrong. So if he doesn't know the right answer, he won't even try. He was a late talker, but I caught him "practicing" in his crib one day! Hopefully something I've said is useful. Just know you are not alone!